Holiday Spends

[MrsSucculent]

Blended family.
Child A gets £20 spending money from their maternal grandparent.
Children B and C do not.

Children A,B,C have £10 from parents.

What is the right thing to do? Top B and C up so all have equal amounts to spend. Or tough luck, your grandparent didn’t give you extra money so you don’t get extra.

grandparent is NOT the grandparent of either step mum or step dad but rather the ex’s parents.

thanks.

Tough luck but manage it correctly so B and C aren't aware there's a difference.

They will absolutely be aware there’s a difference. Child A will have more stuff/treats.

That’s probably life in a blended family for the children 🤷‍♀️

Tell B and C the truth is the other answer. "A's granny gave them 20 for hols and no, she didn't give you any."

Children are resilient. Don't lie to them or try to cover it up to make things seem fair. They'll move on. Have a moan. Maybe A will buy them an ce cream, you never know.

Children aren't resilient. Children are more likely to get traumatized by things than adults because they are still developing (I'm not saying this will traumatise them)
I wouldn't even it out though.
Talk them through it though, if they get annoyed listen to them tell you they are annoyed and validate their feelings. And then move on.

Everyone says children are resilient but I don't think that's true, childhood literally shapes what type of adult you will become and many children are deeply affected by stuff that happened in childhood.

I'm sure getting £10 instead of £20 as a one off would be be traumatising but if it's included as a long list of unfair treatment that often happens in blended families it well could be an issue later on.

I'd top it up so they're all equal. You can either say it's from you or lie and say its from one of your dc maternal grandparents

I would top them up to be the same. If it came to it I would lie and say it’s from a grandparent too (on your side).