Do you force days out on your kids?

[Lastnightadjsavedmylife1]

Don’t worry, I’m not forcing them to, I remember too well being dragged around National Trust properties. I tried to sneak a “day out” plan into the Easter break and you’d have thought I was evil!
Im determined to come up with something though. I might just have to throw a fancy meal into the plan to win them over.

Oh god yes

Yes I do.

I tell them that they have to come out with us, if they've got nothing else to do with friends.

Basically, if their only other idea is to stay at home on electronics, they have to come out with us.

I drag my kid out all the time. There are things I want to see and things the kid would benefit from seeing. They are the kid. Your job is to take them out and bore them shitless in the name of education and general knowledge.

We sometimes also go swimming, which goes down well.

Occasionally I insist, and the teen dc will glower at me but I only ever insist when I know she will enjoy it.

The other day, in an uncharacteristic burst of compassion for my parental efforts, she actually thanked me for dragging her out because “I had a good time, and it was better than being stuck indoors actually.” And she wasn’t even being sarcastic.

100% force them out as the alternative is high energy mess making play indoors, shouting, squabbling or staring at screens. Plus I don't enjoy staying indoors all day.

I've said this on another thread only a couple of days ago, but boredom is essential for human creativity.

Electronics and social media keep you just engaged enough to make sure you never do anything meaningful at all. Tech companies spend all their resources ensuring that. (Including MN, ofc).

How old are these kids?

Mine are 5 and 3 and right now we are out all day almost every day but it's all activities aimed at them. This thread is making me more appreciative of how easy they are, mostly I just say 'okay time to get in the car' and off we go. Most times they don't even know where to!!

Yes I do - I allow the odd staying-in day but try to make mine go out and get fresh air.

One of mine needs daily walking like a dog and will happily tag along to any on-foot journeys (easy where we live) but the other would stay in all day, every day if allowed, but has a nice time when we get him out.

We’re having a break from local NT properties as we’ve visited the five or so most local to us so many times that ours are point-blank refusing to go anymore.

@Beansandneedles mine are 17 and 11. I would presume OPs are teenaged?

I don't recall having to 'drag' them. My 15 year old son was happy enough to go to the Christian Dior show at the V&A. When younger they enjoyed the odd stately home and gardens. I think they might say on occasion visiting some relatives was not exactly fun. But generally they were happy to go out, be it just to the supermarket, to the park to walk the dog, to a show.

I should add that we go into town, beach walks, lunch or shops. They will generally happily do these things for a couple of hours. And older one will make plans with friends but needs a nudge. I meant a “day out” to do something different.
10 and 14.

I don’t have to, mine love a day out and have never refused one yet! They love a NT property 😁

Mine only complain if its somewhere they've been many times before OP (think NT property for 10th time that year)

If I was just saying, on Monday we'll go climbing; Tuesday we'll go to a museum in a different city; Wednesday we'll go paintballing etc etc, they'd jump at the chance to go.

Ah gotcha. Yeah I remember having to be enthused to do something different as a preteen/teen. However mostly I learned good things from it and I'm glad I was often made to go. It was fun when you get there, and sometimes I learned to remember the world didn't revolve around me 😀 I also grew up to adore history so I'm assuming all the being dragged around NT properties changed me somewhere along the way!! I do also remember the incredible feeling when I was allowed not to go and trusted to stay home alone!! Balance maybe?

Turner prize exhibition - which will be a small exhibition and won’t take long. And lunch after. Maybe I will look up something in London - might appeal more.

@mondaytosunday Dior exhibition was great. I think they would love some of the exhibitions I’ve been too but they are so unenthusiastic beforehand it’s difficult to go. They loved the Tate Modern when we visited unplanned.

Yes definitely. They're 13 and 11. If we didn't force them out they'd be staring at screens for 12 hours. We have lots of family days out. They enjoy it once we're out.

Enrichment activities were non negotiable, no dragging required as they didn't argue. Now grown up they still go on similar days out without me!

Absolutely!! Ungrateful little (17 &14) gits!!

Especially if I can't get anyone else to come with me!

They have lived the life of riley and can therefore get to that stately home and art exhibition with me!!

I do actually because my parents didn't and it translated as them not giving a shit. I think it's important to do activities together as a family. That being said I've never really had to force my kids to go anywhere.. a minor winge maybe but they've always actually enjoyed at least part of the day in the end.
They aren't quite teens so perhaps it will get harder in the teen years... but I do tend to persevere. Because as I said my parents did not and it was sad. I felt like they couldn't be bothered with me unless I was super happy and positive. Sometime kids are in a mood but actually it's helpful to show them they are part of a family who loves them and wants to spend time with them even if it's just to have them sit there sulking.
Like I wouldn't force any of my kids to do something that made them uncomfortable.. for example if we were going trampolining and one of my daughters didn't want to do that I wouldn't force her to get on the trampolines... but I don't leave anyone at home unless there's extenuating circumstances. If it's a day out we are all going. We can discuss what to do together abd make sure everyone is going to enjoy at least part of it.

No. We very rarely do days out so that when we do get the chance to go out and do something other than being at home, they are keen to do it.

Basically, if their only other idea is to stay at home on electronics, they have to come out with us

Same approach here with elder two ds's (16 and 14). They do sometimes need 'dragging' our but to be fair they both then tend to enjoy it and end up pleased that they came.

Ds3 is 6 and like a happy little spaniel, which is so refreshing. Always delighted to go anywhere and do anything whether it's a trip to Legoland or to Lidl 😂

Yes otherwise my kids would never leave the house. I was told on another group it was abuse to make them go to a fireworks display when they didn't want to (no scared of loud noises or anything just don't like going anywhere 🤷‍♀️)

Yes. Not all the time, but a family is a give and take environment. Sometimes I want to go somewhere and they need to come. Sometimes they want to go somewhere and I have to come. Sometimes they want to stay in and we do. Sometimes I want to stay in and we do.

Yes, absolutely. We tend to let DS1 off the hook these days because he's studying for his A Levels but DS2 comes along. I think he submits because it means we'll get off his case later!

Also, I try to tap into their interests. So Cabinet War Rooms and Imperial War Museum interest DS2. West Horsley Place (Button House in Ghosts) went down extremely well!

I always make sure there's lunch/coffee and cake involved.

Tool 12 year old dd out today and she huffed and puffed cos it was boring (her words). Balanced it out by buying an ice cream and going to a couple of shops but next tine, she will have the choice to come and embrace it, or stay home alone. I don't spoil it when we do things she wants so she will learn the hard way to recipricate.