Grief and motivation at work

[Linedbook]

I don't know if it's grief, laziness, menopause, or just having had enough of working after nearly 40 years, but I am useless at work lately and have been for 2 years really. Can't believe I'm getting away with it and not sure how long that will last.

DH died coming up for 3 years ago. Work were brilliant and I worked very flexibly, wfh, using the term work very loosely, when I couldn't face going in, all with boss' support.

On the face of it, I'm coping well now. I have a busy social life, am mostly taking care of myself, good diet and exercise, have started to enjoy doing things on my own, including holidays, feel that I've really grown into myself. Friends would say I'm thriving in my new life.

However with work and to a lesser extent the house, I really CBA . I don't like this about myself, but don't know what to do about it.

I changed my job for a fresh start hoping a new challenge would help, but if anything it's worse, maybe because I don't feel any loyalty.

I'm sorry for the loss of your DH and for finding life rubbish and difficult now.

Are you in a position to take a sabbatical? Could you pay someone to clean and sort your house for you to give you a new start?

If you had a magic wand what would you want the most help with and to achieve?

Are you far from retirement age? Could you look at early retirement, would that be possible?

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm 55 and am in a position where I could retire financially. This may well be part of the problem, it's hard to motivate yourself when you know you don't need to, but I've always got such a lot from my work (status, challenge, sense of purpose) that I'm reluctant to stop, even though I'm not feeling that currently.

I'm also very aware that at my age, I'm unlikely to be able to get a similar job to go back to if I decide I want to return later. I've already gone to 3 days pw, but that's made things worse if anything too because it just doesn't feel as important.