Fed up of having babies that don't sleep

[LibraryUser]

Just that really. Second child and again this one doesn't sleep other than on a human. I know it's natural etc but bloody hell it's miserable; constant tiredness, constant grind, doing overnights in shifts so never get to speak to husband for long, never being able to 'sleep when baby sleeps' whether day or night.

I am so jealous of people who can put their babies down to sleep. I really thought I might get one of those this time.

Not looking for advice as I have read loads of threads and tried lots of advice, just looking to moan and share my fed up-ness and how miserable it makes me feel.

I have had another awful week and I've signed up to a sleep course (non CIO). I can't go on the way we are, and I don't think it's unreasonable of me to want a bit more sleep. Sleep is a basic human need.

I've gone for the CALM approach by Hannah Love, she gets amazing reviews on trust pilot. I'm only on day 2 so can't comment on success, but the principles make sense... I'll report back any progress!

@Cindy1802 good for you for finding something and trying jt. Even just doing the course will give you some hope and ideas I'm sure - you onow hope that it is not just your family and there is hope for change!!!. Do feed back on it and wishing you luck with it.

Long weekend here - doing all thr normal weekend things with toddler but trying to juggle baby as well and not lose my cool with anyone.

@penguinbiscuits I agree completely. Wirh my first I didn't understand how I couldn't walk to a cafe with baby, sit down and have a leisurely coffee like SO MANY other mothers I saw. Even today at the playground I had to constantly push the pram back and forth at all times just to keep baby partially asleep, whilst most other parents just left the babies in a stationary pram.

I know I shouldn't feel resentful, but I do.

I had to constantly push the pram back and forth at all times just to keep baby partially asleep, whilst most other parents just left the babies in a stationary pram.

Have you tried a sling? Most babies will sleep their absolute best strapped to you. How about a Rockit for the pram?

I was in this exact situation and used to force myself to stay awake all night holding her and trying the crib, grabbing an hours rest before DH went to work. I cracked at about 5 months and started chest sleeping and it was the best thing I could have done - just wish I’d trusted my body and done it sooner!

A couple of months ago DD started to seem uncomfortable on me and would toss and turn, but still wouldn’t let me put her down! But now she does, but it’s a work in progress. Our nights consist of a bit of cot, some chest and mainly co sleeping (she’s currently on my chest, the lovely lump, and I’m only awake due to a needed nappy change) She still wakes alot and is getting used to the cot (we did it side car for a few months and now have the sides on) AND tonight I actually went downstairs and sat with DH for a couple of hours for the first time in 9 months 😂
tbf we could’ve done it sooner probably but have gone for a very gentle approach and I got comfy having early nights and watching tele 😂

Sending all the support!

I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. I’m extremely lucky that my son will usually sleep in his cot at night, but he refuses to be put down for any naps. I know it’s not ideal but if we’ve had a bad night and I’m very tired, I do sometimes nap when he does with him on my chest. I find that I sleep very lightly and wake up if he stirs at all so I’ve never felt that he’s in any danger. I know putting her down to sleep is the ideal situation, but that could be an option for a bit of extra sleep. I’m not sure I would feel comfortable doing it all night but that’s up to you.

@Wossupdoc thanks, the buggy was to give me a break from the sling fir an hour or so. Sadly the rocket on or doesn't sootye this baby.

@CeCe2023 and @Strawberrycheesecake7 thank you - that gives me food for thought on chest sleeping. Did u find any info useful on best way to do it? I know it's all a risk decision of risk v benefit. @CeCe2023 hope u had a lovely eve with your DH!

I did thank you @LibraryUser it felt very odd!

Happy cosleeper and Cosleepy on Instagram both have guides and advice on how to be as safe as possible and comfortable! I just always propped myself up, moved the duvet away and kept her central, head higher than her bum - it worked okay until she got more mobile! Xx

How are things now @LibraryUser?

My boy is 14 weeks now and we're still co-sleeping. The advice from @Wossupdoc re side feeding saved my sanity (so thank you again)!

Hi @countrypunk thanks for checking in and well done on the side feeding.

It's....tbh it's pretty similar and I've resigned myself to the situation. We co sleep. He sometimes does a couple of hours in crib. I'm hoping now it's part 3 months thqt will improve. I should be trying to get him used to the crib, but I've got no energy currently. I have days when I still feel the resentment and frustration of my first post and days when I quite like the sleeping side by side. I'm trying to not think too much about it and just ride it out.

@LibraryUser If it's any consolation, we are exactly the same! He actually slept 5 hours straight the other week and I thought it mighty have been a turning point but nope, back to 2 hour shifts the next night!

It's really bloody hard. But we'll all get there.

It's still shit. I hate it so much sometimes. He is such a grumpy baby and just cries, even after sleeping, fed and nappy changed etc. He is less refluxy, but still so unhappy. All the time. I ca barely leave his side without him screaming.

Won't fall asleep on his own ever; kicks and screams and has to be basically pinned down to stop his limbs flailing.

God, I thought it would be better by now.

@LibraryUser remind me, how old is he? My LO (7.5mo) is finally sleeping a bit better. We are down to 3 feeds a night, with the last one going past 6am now so can almost call it 2 feeds a night. I do still struggle to get him down for naps as he fights it a lot and ends up in a screaming match, but he is finally sleeping longer than 30mins per nap. Hope this gives you some hope. Not long ago I was in tears in the middle of the night thinking I couldn't go on, and it felt like it would never end. Don't get me wrong, my LO sleep still isn't great when comparing to others his age (and my eldests sleep at this age) but I finally feel a bit of hope. I'm trying hard not to compare him to others!

Thanks @Cindy1802 . He's 4.5 months. It's been a long 4.5 months. He is so unhappy all the tjme. His happiness / calm window is about 10 minutes. The relevant tress crying unless I hold him (carry him in sling for hours every day) is just so exhausting and demoralising.

It could well be overtiredness, so I'm trying to get him to sleep well, but with little luck. Doesn't help we are in th3 dummy cycle as well (he can't pick it up and has it to soothe back to sleep). I don't want to take dummy away however as it does help his reflux and the only thing that stops him crying when he's awake.