Positive emetophobia stories desperately needed please

[AbbeFausseMaigre]

DD (young teen) has severe emetophobia and I'm in a dark place right now because I just cannot see how she is going to come back from this.

I've had to become an expert in the condition and I know its a really, really difficult thing to treat and the majority of people who develop it never really recover. It would help so, so much to hear from anyone, if you're out there, who was severely impacted by emetophobia as a teen but who has managed to overcome it, or at least successfully manage it, as an adult.

I'm not really asking for general treatment advice - over the past few years she has (and is having) extensive therapy (primarily CBT/exposure plus some hypnotherapy) - she made amazing progress only to relapse again. But of course if there is anything surprising that I might not have thought about then that would be very welcome.

Please, PLEASE don't respond if you feel that emetophobia has ruined your life (I'm only too aware that it can, and I am so, so sorry, I just can't hear that right now) or if you don't have any experience of it.

I struggled with this hugely especially around the age of 13/14. To the point where I lost a ridiculous amount of weight because on my bad days I'd be too scared to eat in case I was sick. I'd eat nothing but soup and rich tea biscuits for days on end.

Honestly, I just kind of 'grew out of it' I can't really explain it. I think a big turning point was when I started going clubbing at 18, I'd drink a lot of alcohol and end up being sick and began to realise it wasn't as bad as I was remembering (as when I had severe emetophobia I hadn't actually been sick for years!)

I've heard of people that were way worse than me getting better as they get older too. I really hope this will be the case for your DD!

I have the horrid phobia, was at its worst as a teen and when my dc were young. I tried various therapies but nothing really worked and it made me think about it even more, it stopped me going out, stopped me taking my kids places and there were even time I kept them home from school because a child in their class had a bug.

I then saw a therapist who told me that my phobia will probably never go and I should learn coping strategies to deal with it. She was right, I can’t get rid of the phobia but I can control the anxiety I get. I use mindfulness techniques and a bit of CBT. It no longer takes over my life, I’m don’t think about it all the time but I still go into panic mode if someone’s sick or if I feel sick (my worst fear is me being sick).

It is a horrid phobia because it’s a hard thing to avoid. I hope you find so,e thing that works for her.

I wouldn't eat, it was dominating my every action, every thought. I was lying awake sat up every night incase I was sick etc. Avoiding any social events, like your DD hated being trapped anywhere.

Thank you so much for your reply, Five. I'm so sorry you went through that as a teen. It seems incredible (although very encouraging) that you have spontaneously recovered from something that was affecting you so severely. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get from the point of it was dominating my every action, every thought to being able to even consider a healthcare career?! My daughter is struggling to even get to school and the idea of her being able to do something like that seems like an impossibility.

Thank you Aramiss that is really helpful and encouraging. I'm so glad it's helping you. I've reached out to both Michelle and Jo. I think working with someone who has actually walked the path of emet would be really helpful - her therapists so far have been very supportive but it isn't quite the same as someone with personal experience.

Thank you for your reply, Kerstina. I'm very sorry that you have struggled too and it's encouraging that you've been able to overcome it enough to have a career and a child of your own. It's interesting that you mention social anxiety because the two do seem very linked. When the emet started I wouldn't have said that my DD had any social anxiety (she was a pre-teen at that point) but now I think there is definitely social anxiety at play. But of course she also just a young teenager and sometimes it is difficult to separate out what are 'normal' teen issues and worries and what is actually something deeper.

I completely see the paradox about over focussing on the condition and I feel like we're trapped in that paradox now - just getting on with normal things and keeping busy would help I'm sure, but she's pretty much off school and so there is absolutely no ignoring the fact that there is an issue, and when day-to-day things are hard for her, how can I help her feel normal and get her out of her own head a bit? I'm certainly open to medication if it helps stabilise her so that these everyday things feel a bit more possible.

I'm so glad your DD has recovered, that's wonderful. I haven't come across the Speakmans, I'll take a look.

Heb, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Bless you, what a journey you've been on and I am so glad that you are living a good life in a way you didn't think possible when you were younger.

What you said about worrying you'd never leave home really resonates. I've worked very hard to be completely supportive of my DD over the last few years and she is so lovely in how she expresses how grateful she is to have my unconditional support. But I'm actually worried now that I have made things worse because she is now very, very dependant on me as her safe place. The triggers of her phobia have shifted from some of the obvious ones around food etc to being separation anxiety from me and social anxiety related to being in situations where no one understands her. We did a lot of CBT when she first stated struggling a couple of years ago and it seemed to work miraculously, but since she has relapsed (for want of a better work) she does these 'challenges' (like you described getting on the bus) but it doesn't seem to be moving her forward.

Having been through this yourself, is there any advice you'd give on what I should/shouldn't do as a parent?

I'm so pleased you have recovered toddlermam, that's amazing.

DD is actually OK with food - she is definitely on the (very) slim side of healthy but she actually eats quite well, which is something.

I can't imagine my DD ever even considering drinking alcohol though, let alone enough to be sick! I bloody wish she would because I really think that just being sick would help - DD is exactly like you describe in that she hasn't been sick for so long that she's built it up into this massive thing in her head.

What a weird position to be in, desperately hoping that your DD goes out and gets completely trollied to the point of throwing up!

Thank you for your reply, Lovemusic. I'm really glad you've found the right techniques to help you successfully manage it, even if you haven't been able to overcome it completely.

I do sometimes wonder if the focus on trying to 'cure' it isn't helpful, because then if it doesn't work out that way, there is a risk that you'll feel worse and more hopeless than you did before. It's difficult treading the line between being positive that she can and will overcome it vs being realistic and helping her to accept and successfully manage it.

i don’t think any therapist should be telling anyone they will likely have it for life. This is not true and also takes away hope and your thoughts create your reality . So not helpful at all .
I managed to live with my condition for years by taking lots of precautions with hygiene. For example with eating out side of the house. would not just eat something with my hands if they hadn’t been wiped with a wet wipe. You are more in control .I managed to swerve bugs for years until my DH bought Noroviruse into the house. I only got through it by thinking of the poor people in Syria who were being bombed at the time. I was awake in the night watching the News . Maybe we can be hopeful that there will be a Noraviruse vaccine.
Could you take your DD away somewhere sunny for a couple of weeks . The serotonin would do her so much good . Then try and get her straight back to school while she is in a happy frame of mind.
I think these phobias are linked because we are prone to anxiety and depression. We are more sensitive to things that other people would bounce back from.
Perhaps invest in some self help books for her to read? Just trying to think of things that would help your daughter.

I developed emetophobia about 15 -20 years ago. For a few years it consumed my life and made me very anxious about where I went and especially what I ate. I have managed to come a very long way with it. I have two dc which I didn't think I'd cope with because of the fear and whilst I still have moments, I am able to absolutely deal a lot better with it and especially when the dc are unwell. My dh has developed migraines and is sick from them. He had one the other day. Years ago, I would have run out the room as far away as possible but I was able to deal with it well and not get anxious about it.

I’m in a similar position with my daughter. Even down to the separation anxiety that it seems to have morphed into. She says she doesn’t have many people who understand (basically me, her best friend and her boyfriend) so can’t cope if she’s away from them.
she is on waiting list for CBT and DBT and an ASD assessment from CAMHS
Encouraging to hear stories of people who have grown out of it and gone imo health care etc.

My little 5 year old boy has emerophobia. We're not sure what to do. What would people recommend doing first?

My husband used to have it too when he was a child but grew out of it somehow so that's another sucess story at least!