Am I under-thinking this? (First holiday as a family, 2yo and 4yo)

[Essie274]

Genuinely... am I missing something?

We have just booked a holiday for this summer with our children who will be 2 and 4. We've never been abroad with them before, and actually haven't ever been on a holiday with them even in the UK (we've had long weekends away visiting family in various parts of the UK, travelled to by public transport). It's a Eurocamp holiday at a camp that has been recommended by friends as being good for kids but not designed FOR kids, we're going for two weeks, it's easy enough to go into a city or other nearby towns for the day by train if we get bored at the site/in the local town/local beach, etc. We are flying but only a 2hr flight.

I'm excited. I can't see how it is going to be another other than lovely? I'm not expecting magic and rainbows, perfectly behaved children, etc... but how bad can it be? I'm a SAHP for reference. I spend a lot of my time with just the children so idk how different it could possibly be on holiday?

DH has just got back from visiting his friend's family who are parents of slightly older children (5-8 ish) and has come back panicking that it is going to be a hellish disaster, that we need to buy travel entertainment packs (not a clue what these are), iPads, fidget toys, prepare for constant tantrums and strops, and basically that we won't enjoy ourselves at all (as parents).

I think he/they are being ridiculous... but maybe I am? I DO have a tendency to just say "ah, everything will be fine, it'll be what it'll be" and hope for the best, whereas DH is much more of a "fail to prepare, prepare to fail" kind of guy. I genuinely want you to please tell me what I actually NEED to prepare for with the holiday and also travel days? DH now thinks we need everything

I feel like I'm probably doing my usual thing and am going to get there/be at the airport thinking "oh I wish I had done xyz"... please help?

You said, 'I can't see how it is going to be another other than lovely? '. Yeah sorry, I'm.a planner and a bit of a pessimistic and if someone was telling me that it would put me straight into reacting by over worrying mode and being more negative! I can't imagine thinking that about any holiday, even just with adults! You are definitely failing to prepare if you can't see any possible issues!

Hpwever, of course it will all be fine and your DH is overreacting if he is panicking, but essentially he seems to have just said you need somethings for them to do while travelling - weren't you planning to do that anyway? Buying iPads if they don't already use them is ott of course, but I would never go without some new activity books / sticker books / story books to entertain them. That's part of the treat of holiday to me. You'll be at the airport and in queues for hours as well as the journey, and theirs could be significant delays. I wouldn't want to be sat near the poster who thought the ONLY thing you needed for that enire time was to talk to them!

We don't use screen time on tablets much on holiday, but if you have a tablet of your own (or your phone) it would be useful, but not essential, to download some kids stuff and take some headphones just in case of massive delays, difficulty getting the younger one down for usual naps etc. we use kids audio books on them a lot as ds gets travel sick so looking down at a book not ideal in some situations.

As for tantrums, well I am very jealous if you wouldn't expect them to be a part of things with kids that age in any situation! And it's best to be realistic that over excitement, changes to routine, discomfort from ears on flight etc might make that worse than usual.

So I suppose I'm saying that of course it could be other than lovely at times, and planning for what could go wrong and how to best avoid issues is wise and (apart from splashing out on expensive branded tablets) I don't think your husband is being so ridiculous, but equally it won't be a nightmare either, it will probably be mostly lovely, so no need to over worry either.

Also if you are a sahp and DH isn't, it's bound to be a bigger adjustment being with them 24/7 for a week for him.

This ^ will the parenting be 50/50 on holiday? It is what you make it but definitely don’t expect it to be relaxing. And being next to water for 2 weeks with small kids is a lot more exhausting than being at home. The beach will be better than the pool as they can’t fall in the sea, just sit way back so you can take them into the sea but they will sit for a while making sandcastles and playing in the sand. And take plenty entertainment for them, if you have tablets definitely take them. Personally I wouldn't go abroad with my kids without my mum and dad as there is zero downtime but good luck 🫤😆

I always take iPad on plane for mine. He’s nearly 4. He used less when 2-3, but the last year it’s definitely helpful.

For those saying why an iPad, just crayons, well, personally my 3 year old won’t sit with crayons for 2-3 hrs at home, so I’m not going to expect crayons to last 3hrs. (A 2 hr flight is often 3hrs sitting by the time you board, delayed etc). At home my 3 year old would be active, out in garden, on bike, scooter, playing with toys like blocks or cars moving around. He can’t set up a brio train set and toy kitchen from a plane seat. So he would be bored. We take crayons, stickers, mini toys, snacks etc, but if he’s bored after an hour, I don’t see anything wrong with just putting fireman Sam on to save mine and the planes sanity. With an older child you can reason more, but a 2-3 year old who just wants to get up when seatbelt sign is on isn’t the time to start a no screen debate.

It’s the delays that can also make journey far longer. Last time I landed in London it took 2+ hours from landing to out airport. Delay getting walkway connected due to a pigeon!, long queues at passport control, then still no luggage. A pram in handluggage is ideal, as waiting 2hrs in queues tests many 2 year olds if tired

Meant to say, if you want the option of screen time / audio books but dh is thinking of buying new tablets because of the sharing issue - as long as they will watch same things, headphone splitters to use with one! Tablet / phone would be a much cheaper way of sharing!

We've always Eurocamped with our children who have a similar age gap and are 6 and 4 now. It's an easy, simple holiday and they love it. We don't take any screens. We take colouring books and one or two simple toys but not a lot. They've never been close to being bored. I really wouldn't overthink it.

This is terrible advice - boiled sweets should not be given to such young children they are a choking hazard, instead they can take regular small sips of a drink. Inhaling decongestant such as olbas oil also helps with plane pressure. I suffer really badly with my ears, it usually takes weeks after a flight for them to normalise but my 18mo and 3.5yo were surprisingly fine last year.

I normally hate plastic tat but the fidget spinners were a massive help on the plane, we also packed a mystery bag (dinosaurs, stacking cups etc) for 18mo and 4yo had never comics but we did use a tablet to keep him occupied for some of the plane journey.
It was way out of my comfort zone but actually went much better than I thought. The main thing I hadn't been prepared for was them refusing to eat anything new. If there's food you can take with you that you know they'll eat I'd advise to pack some of it. Mine lived off belvitas, cheese and fruit for the week.

It will be fine. My ex DH not ex at the time refused to come on holiday to spain with my kids then 3 and 5 because he said it would be too hard so my mother came instead and we had the best time. The kids loves it. But yes bring stuff for the plane. There's travel packs on amazon which my kids enjoyed. Have a great time. 👍

OP i think you have entirely the right attitude! Our dc is 18 now but we have travelled extensively since they were tiny (Australia 5 times / Asia/ Canada/ all over Europe etc). 18 years ago kids just didn't have tablets / phones etc

On long haul flights there was often a TV on the back of the seat in front which had kids shows. And occasionally, more disappointingly, the centrally mounted TV screens in the aisles!

Dc brought a small backpack with toys / books in it & mostly we made a thing of buying a small toy (playmobile style) in the airport which couldn't be opened till we were on the flight. + a comic.

We absolutely adored those trips. We only ever did a resort / beach holiday once & dc was about 10 then & really wanted to experience it so we did 10 days in Mallorca & even then we had 3 days in Palma City & 7 days in Port de Soller. They loved it. I was bored.

We never did 'lying on the beach / pool' holidays before dc & have no interest in them. So that aspect didn't change for us post babies.

But we have amazing memories of all the trips we've taken together as a family. We're v relaxed travellers & over the years we've had sickness / accidents etc abroad but it's always been fine..we figured it out without drama.

My mother was a spectacularly unrelaxed holiday goer & honestly, it ruined all holidays. So I was 100% determined not to repeat that myself.

Bring the sensible stuff- any meds they need, plasters, antiseptic cream, sunscreen books & toys & have fun!! Take loads of photos!

@BlazesBoylansHat - we definitely had portable dvd players when we are kids. I remember my parents taking it on plane for us to Spain. I’m mid 30s. I used to watch a film each afternoon when they had long siestas as I could never nap.

We've travelled a lot since the children were babies (to see family abroad) including several times to India when the children were babies and toddlers. We've also been to many places in Europe and north Africa.
It's always been fine. I don't see the need for drama. Take toys, books, tablets. Yes there'll be moments when the children (and you) are tired and bored but it will be fine!

It'll be fine, or sometimes it wont but you'll be okay. You have the right attitude and the DC feed on that. I never understand the doom mongering here about going on holiday with small children. We've done UK and abroad, everything from apartments to camping to hotels etc (abroad since ours were 2 and 1 and in the UK from a few weeks old). It was also pre days of ipads and such. A couple of small toys in their pockets, a bag of dry snacks, water and a little book and they were fine.

We even took them multiple flight including long haul to the states when they were 3 and 4. All good.

Have a lovely time.

We had a lovely little book called It's time for a holiday. It's probably out of print now but DC loved it, basically little rhymes about where each family in a street are going on holiday.

OP it sounds like you enjoy being with your DC so you will have a brilliant time. I think a lot of the miserable family holiday people don't actually enjoy their kids' company very much. We've had a brilliant time on our holidays with the kids, at those ages we took some new sticker books but that would be about it. But do have a chat about downtime expectations - my 'thing' is that I like to go for a long solo swim each day on holiday, DH likes uninterrupted reading time... sometimes you have to make an effort to actually work these things in. Enjoy, have a wonderful holiday!

Sorry to add to all your thoughts, but please boil wash your cups, glasses, utensils etc, when you arrive. I used to work for Eurocamp and on a good day my "cleaning bucket" comprised of a bog roll and a bottle of washing up liquid. 🫥

I think this poster nails it. If you go expecting a holiday like pre dc then it's frustrating and disappointing. It's also annoying walking past people who are on the holiday you'd like.

I remember sorrento with my dc 2 and 5 ish. The 2yo wanted OUT of his stroller but then capered in the paved streets that are actully roads where vespas fly past. So strap him back in and he screamed and flopped out of the pushchair. Meanwhile we were walking past a rustic harbour where tourists wereenjoying amazing relaxed lunch with aglass of wine at a bunch of delightful fish restaurants. I sighed.

I'm the same as you - whatever I gave I'll deal with it

You don't need screens. Kids don't need screens. My ds travelled from 6 months old on up to 4 hour plane journeys and we didn't even own a screen until he was 8!

Entertainment packs sound posh. What they are in reality (or were for me) was a gift bag with a few poundshop toys (new car, stickers, pen and notebook etc) they get given on plane when (if) they get restless. It's just a distraction and something to explore.

I do think though that how you manage it and your children's personalities do make a difference. My ds was (is!) very chilled and so am I. So we just bimble along happily going with the flow!

We got caught in southern Spain during the ash cloud and needed up coming back by coach, extra overnight stay and ferry, coach and train. We also got diverted to Glasgow when landing in Gatwick due to snow and had to coach it back to Gatwick! It only ruins things if you allow it.

Re plane - DC were before screens were a thing and I bought comics especially for the flight (didn't normally have them) small colouring books and sticker books that I hid until the holiday and the novelty kept them entertained. Given out sparingly!

It will be fine- hope you have a lovely time.

I think it’s largely a question of expectation. If you’re expecting to lie by the pool drinking pina coladas then that probably won’t work. Just approach it as being you and your kids in a different location and you’ll be fine. I suspect some of the stories you hear about nightmare holidays are told by very hands-off dads who don’t actually do any childcare and so have no idea what to expect (and perhaps don’t enjoy spending much time with their children).

We used to have lovely holidays when the children were small, some of the best ever. You don’t need screens or to buy anything special- just pack carefully so that you get a lot of bang for your buck with toys. A beach ball is hours of fun. Pens and paper or stickers so they have something to do inside when they need to get out of the sun.

I’ve been on holiday abroad with my ds (2) and dd (4) several times over the years and honestly it’s not as bad as some say we did take tablets for them and a colouring pack each but the 2 year old slept on the flights. I will say even if they’ve dropped naps at home an afternoon nap is needed unless you want them cranky at evening time.

Because of where we lived coupled with DH job we travelled a lot with our children when they were small. 14 months between them so we needed a double buggy ( sooo heavy in those days) There was no in car entertainment other than mum reading a story or mum and dad singing. 4 hours in a car was our norm. worst event I remember was a bug that caused both kids to vomit profusely.
Holidays were cheap and cheerful caravan by the sea. No TV. iPads, videos and the like didn’t exist, no smart phone games. What I remember:
Take a good first aid kit. If you’re going to France pharmacists are very helpful.
Take a few favourite toys and small books. Practice making up stories or retelling from memory !
Buy beach toys there and leave them at the campsite for other kids.
Don’t do too much. Trying to visit every attraction, do everything results in tired overstimulated children. Alternate active and chilling days.
Pretend you’ve stepped back 30 /40 years, life is slower, tech doesn’t exist. And relax.

With an older child you can reason more, but a 2-3 year old who just wants to get up when seatbelt sign is on isn’t the time to start a no screen debate.

^ well yes but if you're a screen free household for children that's a bit like arguing over who should drive if you don't have a car.

I've taken my 2 on a few holidays the worst day is day 1 travelling. Kids are excited it's all new to them.
Tips I would say arrive early at the airport to give yourself time. Use the family security lane (it's often off to the side). Decamp to a restaurant on the other side although you will pay for it way less stressful to just sit whilst 1 parent goes to boots or similar and grabs drinks and snacks. Something chewy for take off to help their ears.
Ours have amazon kids fire tablets (they are 2 and 5) actually really helps for travelling.

Accept that you guys will be tired and they will be very excited the first night.
My kids sleep better on holiday as they are swimming most of the day. Early stress free dinners are key - we don't go out for dinner (do lunches instead if we want) and if at a hotel have the earliest possible dinner and accept they are knackered.

I think adults can have nice holidays with kids but mine need to stay in a routine structure with a slightly later bedtime as they are exhausted.

Makes sense to me! We've gone on three European holidays and multiple UK breaks and night away since our son was born in 2020. He is a fab little traveller. I've definitely found that he responds to situations based on how my husband and I react so we try and be as chilled as possible, especially in airports.

We're city breakers so a holiday to us is all about being go, go, go, exploring attractions and eating lovely food, all of which works really well with a young child with mountains of energy. At 22 months he outpaced a group of American teens on a hike up to the Sacromonte Cave's Museum in Granada after walking there from the monastery we'd just visited 😂

You definitely sound like you have the right attitude about it and I'm sure you will have a lovely time! :)

It honestly depends on your outlook OP. I never enjoyed holidays when my DC were that small because they didn’t feel like holidays just ‘same shit different day’ and I like a proper holiday with relaxation time and the feeling of everything being different to normal everyday life. I know that was 100% my issue though and I never enjoyed young children type activities, now my two are 10 and 7 and I love going away with them, holidays actually feel like holidays again and everything is more relaxed.

You sound like the opposite of me though OP and I am sure you will have a lovely time, just take some colouring etc to amuse them on the plane as it can get boring for them after the initial take off.

They are being drama queens! I traveled lots with mine before the invention of the smartphone and it was fine. Colouring books, puzzles for the older one, a great chance to teach h then noughts and crosses etc. I personally preferred to drive to France as it's easier to take stuff like wetsuits.

We did loads of different holidays when our DC we're toddlers and Eurocamp was always a favourite.

The journeys were always fine whether we flew or drive. Always packed a goodie bag with snacks and crayons/pencils etc.

At that age there is always the risk that it's the same hard work but in a different place but I usually found it easier as long as you don't put pressure on yourselves by having too much scheduled into each day.

Our days at Euro camp would start with a nice easy breakfast on the deck and then a couple of hours at the pool. Then back to the caravan for a leisurely lunch which was always French bread , salad and cold meats. The kids would usually go down for a nap at some point while DH and I chilled on the deck.

Then a nice walk into town or to the beach , a supermarket visit on way home to pick up more nice stuff for breakfast and lunch. One of us would take them to the park for a bit if they wanted while the other sat and read a book in peace.

Then get dressed to go out for dinner and sometimes we'd let the DC enjoy the kids disco and entertainment while we had a drink. Actually sounds quite busy but we never had a strict schedule so it didn't matter if it didn't always happen like that.

Other days we'd go out in the car to explore the area or visit a larger town or place of interest and have a nice lunch in a restaurant somewhere. On those days we'd put the kids to bed nice and early and DH and I would sit have a cheese and wine evening on the deck.

We took a tiny inflatable paddling pool to use as a kind of bath when DD was 2 as she was scared of showers then.

I have really lovely memories of those holidays. Mine are 15 and 18 now and insist on nice hotel holidays and then don't emerge from their rooms u til lunchtime and never look up from their phones!