Strange housemate stories

[NoEffingWay]

It's been a long while since I had housemates but it's fair to say that in my early twenties I moved around a fair bit until i bit the bullet and moved into a place on my own. There are some strange people about!

My stories are fairly mundane, people who didn't clean up EVER, housemates who only ate super noodles out of a saucepan and somehow didn't get scurvy, housemates who seemed determined to shag anyone single in our town and the one who liked Winnie the Pooh more than anyone in their late twenties should admit too!

The one who made me leave decided that he fancied me, and started trying to get into my bed in the middle of the night . I'm not sure if he thought I would roll over and reciprocate his advances but after I started barricading myself in at night I started looking at places on rightmove with enthusiasm!

One who only ate Pringles. One who used to order just a tiny soup when the rest of us got a Chinese takeaway but then are ALL the leftovers secretly at night.

I suppose the super noodle fan ensured I have never eaten them . I can still smell the 'chicken' ones if I think hard enough (not envy).

Are you a pringles fan by any chance?!

I loved having housemates. My favourite was one called James. He was totally chaotic and so much fun and probably an alcoholic but my God we went on some good nights out. He was mid 30’s but still believed he was an 18 yo student and the garden would always be full of stolen goods - statues, Christmas wreaths, traffic cones, fire extinguishers…

@Alicewinn it wasn't all bad I agree. Living with friends sometimes felt like a cross between an eternal sleepover with an unhealthy amount of wine. We were always eternally skint but could make our own entertainment. I started to crave coming home to a clean kitchen after a long day at work (rather than finding out someone had used all my plates and saucepans again )

I had one who liked to wear my cabin crew uniform round the garden on our days off. He walked better in my heels than me! We are still in touch

@socks1107

The student house without a washing machine where we found out when one guy was handwashing his clothes in the kitchen sink he was using the dishwasher brush to scrub his pants, and had been doing so for some time, leaving the rest of us to use the same brush for washing dishes. He also set fire to his dressing gown as he was wearing it when he was cooking on the gas hob.

I’ve never had a housemate! Feel a bit sad about that tbh 😂

A couple once moved into my sharehouse and then subsequently broke up, but still shared a room/bed. She soon got a new boyfriend (despite still sharing a bed with the old one) and the old boyfriend would sleep on the sofa when the new bloke stayed over. I mean, each to their own, but I found it so odd 😳

When I met my husband he was sharing a house with four other student lads.

The word squalor doesn't do it justice. There was an overflowing dustbin in the centre of the living room, one lad had tried to cook tinned spaghetti bolognese in the kettle which still bore the stains and they would all go out rather than be the one who had to put 50p in the meter when the leccy went.

Several years after they left the new tenants called the police when they found the bones of a human arm under the floor boards. It made the local news but turned out to be part of the plastic skeleton one of my DH's housemates had stolen from college.

@Churchview you have reminded me of when I met my ex-husband. I was alarmed at how he and his housemate were living (perhaps I should have listened more closely to my internal thoughts?). It wasn't quite 'leave the pan' grim but the bathroom was something else. I didn't know bathrooms could get quite so spectacularly dirty. I actually went out and bought bleach

I lived in my student house for two years. At the end of the first year two girls moved out and two blokes moved in. They didn't bother to wash up before they moved - just stuck all their dirty plates and pans in a bin liner and dumped it in our kitchen, where it stayed all year. We all took to keeping our clean plates under our beds.

When I lived in a house share in Australia, the ‘landlord’ showed my friend and I round. 14 female backpackers in one 3 bed house, cheap rent and a balcony for sun bathing, perfect we thought!!
Only to discover the ‘landlord’ was actually just some random cousin of the owner, and he lived in the dining room!! We were there over a week before we realised he was sleeping under the dining table!! Crazy!

A house mate of mine once kept putting the heating on and up really high, in the height of summer as she was cold. But then kept all the windows and doors open to get some air through as she was hot 🤯

Not odd particularly but I was in a houseshare once where my 2 housemates came from such different backgrounds that their arguments were spectacular (housemate 1 had 3 jobs, had been running a house since her mum left when she was a young teen and disliked spoilt people while housemate 2 was the daughter of rich parents. She didn't really work (was an artist but made no money) so was funded by parents, didn't know how to wash her own clothes and had no experience or understanding of people with less money than her).
Housemate 2 did have a much bigger collection of teddy bears than most women her age and I don't think I ever saw her without make up on.

Second (and last) houseshare included a housemate who used to make a big thing about not eating anything bad for him but gorged on haribo and Mars bars when we went to bed and another who seemed to always be ironing. She would iron underwear, tea towels, bedding etc. it appeared never ending

Not my housemate but the housemate of a friend. She moved into a house the summer after college, they were all 20-24 age group except one lady who moved in and was about 35.

She became obsessed with my friend and would follow her around everywhere, telling her they were soulmates and copying her clothes and everything she ate. She was very unstable and emotional and drank a lot. My friend moved out about 8 weeks later as it was too much. A new guy took her bedroom and the lady was so upset she sent my friend dozens of incoherent messages then proceeded to steal the car of the new housemate, drive it to an off license, buy loads of alcohol and crash into a lamp post on the way home.

I lived in a 2 bed flat. Her room was huge and en suite. I had the very small room and the other separate small bathroom which I was entirely responsible for cleaning. But she would, without telling me, throw themed costume film nights. The amount of times I'd come out my room to have a shower or use the loo and there'd be a pirate or Indiana Jones or a vampire just nonchalantly walking out of my bathroom! She never let them use her bathroom. It was pretty funny but I left very soon after this nonsense started!

Coming out in a towel for a shower and a man in a dinosaur onesie just wanders out for Jurassic Park night... wouldn't have minded if she ever gave me a heads up or offered to clean my bathroom that 12 people had been using all night!

Some of these read like short horror stories!

In my DC student house when we picked them up after their final's - Five years of unopened mail from past students on a table in the hall . A year's worth of empty shower gel/ shampoo bottles in the large shower room . Bottles empty bottles of every alcoholic drink you can think of in piles in the garden . Carpets not vacuumed for months . Then DC whined that the landlord kept all the rent deposits

Dhs flatmate used to eat bake bean sandwiches, spend hours shagging in the shared bath and tried to climb in three floors up when locked out. But he was very nice

God, such good times as a student in shared digs. Also some nutters.

In my 2nd year, my mate and I took on two rooms in a flat share. The 3rd year guy had advertised the rooms for let. He had the third room which was also supposed to be the communal living room 🙄. It was tiny, dark after he painted the hallway dark green including the ceiling and removed the bulb. We had to pay to fumigate it when we moved in as he'd sublet it to Chinese students for the summer and they had left it absolutely filthy and infested with fleas.

This guy had obsessions which would last a few weeks at a time. Judo was my favourite, he thought he was shit hot when he looked like an absolute plank. He decided he had coeliac disease, undiagnosed. That lasted until he tasted gluten free pasta.

Then it was Star Wars, then manga, then I can't remember what else.

He moved out midway through the year when university became another fad he quit, but paid up the rest of the year so we had some peace!

Hundreds of stories. Like the psychopath housemate in my flat in Edinburgh. Her way or the high way. Seriously deranged when I wouldn’t give her what she wanted. She even tried to change me for electricity when I’d the lights on against her wishes. Ended up living in uni emergency accommodation then found a new flat.

The housemate before that one me hated me coz I was ‘southern’ Irish.

Back in Ireland I’d the housemate who brought her boyfriend in without asking us. He did feck all and didn’t want to work.
She refused to put out the bins when it was her turn as her dad always did it and how dare we even suggest it.
She used put the heating on full whack then go out leaving the windows open.

There were some really nice normal people too.

Ah, Dave.

It was a 5 bed flat that was accessed through the landlady's hall, she and her family lived downstairs, so we interviewed him, shallow grave style (we all moved in separately, not previously friends), and so did she, no worries there. That's how it went for me too when I moved in.

She and her family were lovely, I spent a lot of time downstairs with them, her daughter was my bridesmaid etc, but she never came upstairs without asking us so it all worked. so it was a lovely atmosphere.

Until Dave, who had seemed normal, stopped.speaking to us and using the kitchen and living room in our flat, avoided the cleaning rota, nicking our food etc. And then he started being rude, and smelling. So we spoke to lovely landlady and said something had to give.

So he moved out, and she came up to clean the room, and we were helping. She opened the door, and not only had he pissed the bed and left the pissy mattress as it was, he'd neatly lined up plastic milk bottles full of piss on all his shelves. We all mucked in with the cleaning and it was not fun.

I do wonder what happened to him.

I'm in a houseshare at the moment.
One bloke spat in the kitchen sink!!!!
Another just doesn't understand the kitchen is shared so it doesn't matter if he is making a cup of tea or cooking whatever he uses like a spoon or a pan he just dumps it in the kitchen sink and leaves it there for days.
No one will buy scrubbers/cloths so they all just use the same manky one then leave it on the side still dirty.
The girl who was always shouting at her family on her mobile phone has just moved out