Do you argue with your friends?

[Sallibays]

I was just thinking after watching something this evening, as an adult do you argue with your friends? Or is nothing really that deep as a grown up and arguing is reserved for relationships?

No. Never! We sometimes have a difference of opinion but we agree to disagree and get on with it. I guess that’s a bit difficult to do if you live with someone.

Thanks for the reply. I was thinking I've never actually argued with a friend ever and watched my partner argue with one of his tonight and felt it was odd!

Not since my teens, no.

Might not always agree with them, but never quarrel

I have two "best" friends, one male, one female. The male I have been very close with since I was 11 and we're now 41/42, we drifted apart for a while over different lifestyles but never argued. My female friend and I have been close for 18/19 years and once I told her she'd hurt my feelings and we talked it out. Another close friend and I had one disagreement but not argument in 15 years of close friendship. I wouldn't say it's normal as an adult to be arguing with friends.

Thanks for the perspectives. I definitely thought it was more of a relationship feature than a friendship. My dps friend is a woman and tbh I didn't enjoy watching it. I didn't hear what they were saying, just saw the back and forth, him get louder at one point then them hug afterwards. To me, nothing is that deep in a friendship!

I think your attitude is the weird thing here — you see arguments as purely a sexual/romantic relationship thing, because you see friendships as not that ‘deep’?

I argue with my male BF but not my females ones. Never really thought about why but male BF is probably my oldest friend and I don't think we'd ever irrevocably fall out, he feels like family he's been around so many years.

No, that's why I started the thread. Because it's not my experience to ever have argued with friends. To me, there has never been an issue that has been deep enough to be shouting at a friend about. I felt uncomfortable because it was more like watching a couple argue and make up with my dp yesterday

So are you trying to figure out if there's more to their relationship?

No, I can’t be arsed.

I have enough problems with dh and inlaws, I’m not about to start arguing with friends.

I only have pretty superficial relationships though, I don’t think I’ve ever had a friendship deep enough to have an argument about something in.

I also mirror people. Christ, you’d think I was a labour supporter, a Tory, an atheist, a bible basher depending on who you spoke to about me.

I don’t care to push my options on other people, so I just nod and agree with what they are saying. Life is short, I jIr want to have a laugh.

Ok, but that says more about you and your ideas about friendships and relationships than about your partner and his friendships! Are you under the impression that arguments are primarily about ‘relationship issues’ or something? Or maybe you just aren’t that bothered about your own friends?

Oh, I’ve seen that in platonic male/female friendships. I just think it’s because men are a bit stupid and the female in the friendship has to put them in place.

(I said what I said. I’m mid 40s now and I’ve had enough of mens bullshit to last a life time. ship me off to the all woman colony now, please).

How do you define an argument? My friends and I often debate stuff, and have different views, but we don't argue.

About the closest I've come is when some of my friends who I used to think were intelligent, voted for Brexit. This stimulated some very intense debate, but it was always respectful, and never any shouting.

No never! I can't think of any arguments since I was a teenager. I can occasionally sense unspoken tensions if we don't share the same opinions on something but we tend to just gloss over it and carry on being nice to each other! I think me and my friends would be mortified to have a full blown argument.

I'm nut really sure. There's been some red flag stuff before but I didn't know whether I was overthinking it. She shops for his clothes cause he hates it, stuff like that and the arguing on top of it was just uncomfortable

No, it's not normal for adults to 'row' with friends or family like lovers. I only ever see this if there's an affair/ personality disorder/mental illness etc involved.

From my limited explanation and the hug to end it, is that the vibe it would give you too after what you said at the bottom?

Yes, it is. Sorry.

No I never do. We have discussions but no one has hurty feelings or goes ballistic or whatever. I did have a mega toxic friend but she is now dead.

Never, we have quite lively discussions occasionally but no, never argue.

I would call it an "impassioned debate" rather than arguing. With my female BFF it's a bit more polite and we tend to change the subject when we disagree over something. With my male BFF I will call him a dickhead to his face and "debate" until I'm blue about why he's wrong (he will do exactly the same to me. We've had the same conversation about things multiple times and he's still wrong 😁)

It just goes down to personality, really. We're good friends and can recognize that other people have different opinions without falling out over it.

She buys your DP clothes? This sounds nuts to me.

Yes, he hates shopping so he said she enjoys it and made me feel it was me making an issue of it

Yes exactly this.

Yes we argue, I guess, perhaps disagree.

But remain friends