I am NOT a morning person!!

[oObyeOo]

Why won’t my dh and dd 10) get this?…. They get up about 2hrs before me. Then when I wake up they expect me to be all jolly straight away!

I get cross, as I at least need a cup of tea! They get offended that I’m grumpy ‘for no reason’ and the day states of shit!

Perfectly reasonable to be a morning person or not. Assuming you are not drinking each evening and your mood is affected by that.

I dunno. It seems a bit unreasonable to be grumpy every day just because of what time of day it is. I'm a morning person and get tired in the evening, but I don't get grumpy.

Well your DD has obviously learnt this off your DH.

Ask him why, after all these years, he's still acting like a twat. You're not a morning person & he needs to respect that & stop encouraging your DD to act up.

tell them to just stay out of your face until you've had your cup of tea & are ready to quietly engage!

I've been both sides of this coin!

Dunno, not sure you get to just say, ‘I’m grumpy’ and that’s it…

I wasn’t a morning person until dc, then you don’t really get the choice

I’m only grumpy because they’re all jolly and in my face as soon as I wake up. I’d they don’t do this, then I’m fine!

I have 🙄… sometimes it works but often I have to tell them to go away for half an hour, which then builds resentment

I like to rise early, but essentially am nit a morning person. Prefer to ' come around'. Live alone do this not an issue. When have been in a relationship has been ok as partner got up later. They need to respect your wishes. Is there anyway u can ask them to leave a cup of tea outside the bedroom door? Failing that I would research a teesmaid

Why are you awake at 8.30 on a Saturday morning if you are not a morning person. Go back to sleep like a proper morning person.

I’m a morning person but anyone too jolly around me when I first get up would piss me off too. Anyone who doesn’t need a hot drink and an ease into the morning are wierdos 😁

I doubt you’ll change them so you need a drink making set up in your room like in a hotel and stay there until you can cope with their diabolical cheerfulness.

Or sound cancelling headphones to wear while you walk zombie like past them to collect your drink and return to your bedroom.

I’ve been conditioned to wake up early due to the dc over the years.

I guess more of the issue is not being given time to adjust when I’ve woken.

I shouldn’t moan too much, he does bring me a cup of tea every morning!

My DH hates me in the morning as he's a grumpy fecker first thing and I'm all happy. He feels your pain!

I need transition time too…my family know not to be loud around me or ask me for anything for the first 30 minutes of consciousness, and that my brew should be half drunk before I can engage. Ask your family to respect your need. If your husband doesn’t, and doesn’t model it for your daughter, there are bigger problems.

I would start a new routine of getting in the bath as soon as I wake up and spending half hour in there, or just ask your child and husband to let you wake up for 20 mins and have a drink before coming in. A lot of people need time to wake up, it's different when kids are little but at ten years old that's old enough to understand you need to wake up a bit before being full on. My child is 6 and I wish he understood 😂😂

Ugh that sounds so unsupportive. Have you tried having a family meeting? I enjoy getting ready on my own in the morning, I just need that 10-20 minutes alone to set myself up for the day. If I don't get it I find myself much grumpier.

So essentially had a chat with the fam all together, said what I needed and said it was up to them to either help accommodate what I need to be in a good mood or live with the bad mood as a natural consequence. Got much better after that. Doesn't happen every day, but happens enough to placate me.

@oObyeOo

id tackle them separately. Tell the twat to grow up & to stay away from you until you've had half an hour after getting up. Be very clear you're not joking. Tell him unless there's a serious amount of blood or the house is on fire, to stay away from you.

talk to DD, explain that you NEED to wake up properly before chatting in the morning and now she's 20 she's old enough to respect that and let you have 30 minutes 'wake up time'. Try not to say alone or away from the etc

use 'respect' rather a lot with both of them!!

I'm exactly the same. My husband never learns and continues to try and engage me in chirpy conversation first thing in the morning....

Our child is grumpy little shit too in the mornings so at least we have each other!

Putting across a different point of view:

It takes me a lot of restraint not to push DH when he surfaces.
I've usually been up since 7. Pointless staying in bed since I can't put the light on to read as he's still asleep, so have to get up.
Then the kids are up - I have a teen and a very near teen that still class anything starting with a 7 is a lie in.

It makes me unreasonably irrational if I decide I can't sit in my PJs any longer so go to get dressed, and he's lounging in bed reading - basically what I wanted to do hours ago and couldn't.

By the time DH has got dressed, it feels like a third of the day has been lost, and if he'd just go go bed earlier, he'd wake up earlier to suit the rest of us. I know it doesn't work like that - and if he was asking me to stay up til 2am I just couldn't do it.

You need to talk to them. And find a way to get your slow wake. But also understand that they have had that wake time, and have been hanging about waiting for the next part of the day.

This is me, my husband got up with DS at 6.20am this morning and whilst I couldn't get back to sleep I really did try and try, I was very upset to learn it was 7am when I finally gave in and checked the time. I then couldn't get out of bed until 9am. DH even took DS and dog for a walk and left me there, I was so upset when they returned and had such a nice time and bumped into friends. I get really down and embarrassed about it though and feel guilty he's up hours before me. Sleep is life. I can't fall asleep easily vs he does so naturally he has an hour on me at least every day, despite waking early.

Do you feel guilty DH is up 2 hours before you every morning?

I don’t fee guilty at all… I get annoyed that he gets up and then just drinks tea and sits on the sofa 🤣

I’ve said this to him! At least when I get up I start doing something like the dishes or washing, sorting for the day. He doesn’t do any of that in the morn…. Although he will once I’m up.

I'm not a morning person, but I'm not 14 years old so can still manage to interact politely with my family at any time of day.

I think YABU, I'm not a morning person either but if you have kids you can't be grumpy first thing every day. You've got to fake it till you make it!

Good for you. I on the other hand have a variety of moods that determine how I interact with the people closest to me, who understand that living together means that moods will change daily

It’s not every day. It’s mostly on weekends when I need to catch up on sleep. All I need is time to adjust. It’s not much to ask for.