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Wanting to move away but limited options

1 reply

Dachshundlass89 · 04/04/2024 16:37

Hi all, first thread asking for advice on here so any would be appreciated (nice replies only please- no snarky comments). I went to uni in Liverpool several yesrs ago. I loved it there and stayed on for a year living and working there- I didn't even live in the best area but still loved it.

Sadly I had to move back to my home town in the North East (not going to name the town but its in Tees Valley/Teesside area). Since then I've been miserable and everyhing has gone wrong: Both of my grandparents died, I lost my job and I'm now on UC, claiming PIP due to ill health (not proud of any of this btw). Have been looking for a small p/t job to build my confidence back up but so far nothing, and none of the jobs interest me. I also can't stand the people here- rude, "bantery", bullying culture and don't care about anyone but themselves, plus it's such a small town that you can't avoid them. The whole world shuts down at 6pm. To add to all of that I have a mentally abusive partner. He doesn't live with me thankfully but knows where I live and I obviously haven't fully ended it with him yet.

I want to move back to Merseyside but my options are very limited due to my flat being in my name, plus me not being local/having no family in the area i want to go to. I've spoken to women's aid and cabx about my partner, who were helpful and said that I have a right to apply to any LA as the law changed a couple of years ago, but as I have said the flat is solely my tenancy so I think this would be difficult, and notifying the police would stop him from coming to my flat, however its a small market town with a very small town centre where nearly everyone knows everyone, and I'd definitely bump into him around town if I dumped him. As we all know private rents are quite expensive now, especially on UC.

LCC sent me an application form for social housing (I didn't say why I wanted one) and going through it just left me feeling deflated. There is a bit where you can dislose whats happening but ive left it blank for now, but im worried that even if i do i'll be put in a very low band and be waiting years and years, or none at all, plus they'll probably say I have no housing need as I already have a flat in my local area, plus the double whammy of having no proper local connection. Should I send it anyway?

It did say on the application that you can apply for social housing there if you have lived and worked (for at least 16hrs pw) for at least 12 months. I'm wondering if it would be a better option to keep on and try and find a flat there that accepts HB (I'm over 35), even if it's not (and probably wont be) in the best area, get a p/t job (there's plenty in Liverpool- bars, coffee shops etc) and stick it out for the 12 months, then apply? Because I absolutely can't stand this shit hole of a town and that arsehole of a "partner" any more (I've dumped him before but always stupidly get back with him). I want to be as far away as possible!

P.S My friends there either all live in house/flat shares or have young families, so staying with them isn't an option. I can't live in a house share as I have MH issues and ADHD, but would accept a private bedsit/studio.

So sorry for the rant but I'm feeling despondent and don't want to waste another year of my shortening life here or near him. Advice would be much more appreciated from anyone local (to Merseyside) who knows better than I do.

Thanks in advance. J x

OP posts:
Outd00rs · 15/04/2024 13:12

Hello
i do not know merseyside at all and don’t have anything useful to offer but didn’t want your post to sit unanswered. I have great sympathy with the small town and bumping into ex all the time.. I totally think you should do whatever you can to start afresh somewhere you were happy. I can’t think, from what you say, that you would have any regrets.
Maybe set yourself a time line and start putting the things in place that you need to in order to sort yourself out (start with dumping the partner who sounds like he is no good for you and holding you back from being a happy you somewhere else) and take baby steps to get housing etc.. in place - it sounds like an overly complicated system! Are there any charities that can help you wade through it and advise you? But I’d say go for it, send the form off and be honest about what you are facing. Once you are away you can upgrade your location - prob much easier when you’re already there? Anyway you deserve to be happy - everyone does- and I wish you good luck with finding your way through..

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