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Original poster

How to get past GP receptionist

41 replies

Overwhelmedandunsure · 03/04/2024 17:41

I live in a large village. Many people know each other. I am not friends with any of the GP reception team, but know most of them to chat in passing.

I feel like I am sinking following bereavement, and having tried exercise, meditation, herbal remedies, etc I have reached the stage where I think I need prescribed medication.

My GP does not have E Consult and it is never possible to book an appointment online. Everyone has to phone at 8.00am, which I realise is the case for many people.

The receptionist wants to know the reason for the appointment before booking one. I know I will break down and don’t want to do so with someone I know. I also know that they are meant to be bound by confidentiality, but have reason to have little faith in this in practice.

I need to be strong for my young adult children. They, and many other people, say that I appear to be coping so well. They would be so upset if they knew how I am feeling. They have lost their father. I want them to get out and live their lives without worrying about me.

I could possibly afford one private appointment, but not on an ongoing basis, especially if I have to have private prescriptions.

I don’t know that I am currently strong enough to point blank refuse to give any details to the receptionist and say I need to speak to the GP. Has anyone successfully done this? or does anyone have any other ideas?

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 03/04/2024 17:45

I would just tell them that you are struggling with your mental health. Don’t worry that you might cry - receptionists have seen/heard everything x

Happyboom · 03/04/2024 17:45

I'm in exactly the same situation, DH died, young adult children lost their father, your energy goes into supporting them.

Fwiw, NHS MH support has been rubbish, but I have managed to get some help through my employer's Employee Assistance Programme and through our local Hospice, so I'd try those first if you can.

Pashazade · 03/04/2024 17:47

If you really feel unable to just say, I feel I need additional help to cope with my grief then make up a dodgy hip, bad pain in the ankle, gamy elbow, something you'd need a physical exam for and then be honest with the doctor once you're in. Not ideal but if you don't trust to the receptionists discretion I think this is your only option.

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Kitkat1523 · 03/04/2024 17:47

Tell them anything….then tell the gp the reality when you see thm

Crowgirl · 03/04/2024 17:47

With my GP you can refuse to say to the admin team.

Sorry for your loss.

Bumblebeeinatree · 03/04/2024 17:49

Just tell them you have a problem with your heart.

Soontobe60 · 03/04/2024 17:49

Kitkat1523 · 03/04/2024 17:47

Tell them anything….then tell the gp the reality when you see thm

They’re not asking just to be nosey, they're triaging which is the best HCP to see. If they have a bad chest, they might get an appointment with a nurse practitioner, for something like depression they might see a mental health nurse etc.

TempersFuggit · 03/04/2024 17:50

I feel that you should be able to say, 'I don't want to say' to the receptionist. They can ask, but you don't 'have' to say. Or you could say something else? The doc won't mind. If you really feel like you can't say that, you could you write a letter to your doctor marked "Private and Confidential"?

CointreauVersial · 03/04/2024 17:50

Just make something up. Or make it a half-truth, like you are having trouble sleeping.

DeedlessIndeed · 03/04/2024 17:50

You could request their email address? They aren't made publicly available, but if you ask they will generally provide this.

I appreciate this doesn't get around the confidentiality issue. However, if you cannot speak about your concerns (which is completely understandable given your situation) then this may be an alternative.

Justsomethoughts · 03/04/2024 17:51

sorry you’re going through such a tough time OP.
agree with PP - say ‘struggling with mental health’. They don’t need to know in depth info - it is just so they can help triage/write the issue next to your name so GP knows what’s coming through the door.
If you feel like you need to give further info, write a mini script so you can say that whilst still holding it together on the phone.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 03/04/2024 17:52

You don't need give details just that you'd like to speak to the GO about your mental health and that you are struggling

GoodVibesHere · 03/04/2024 17:53

Could you write a brief note and hand it to the receptionist? You could write that you are unable to talk aloud as you have a private issue that you are having difficulty with.

chattyness · 03/04/2024 17:58

Hold your ground and politely tell them it's not their business.You have the right to privacy.It's not just the person the phone but anyone in the reception are can hear in some medical centres. I go to the reception in person now as I got fed up with the constant rude interruptions on the phone. The last time I said can you please be quiet and let me speak as you're putting me off and costing me a fortune on my phone bill because I have to keep repeating myself as you're not listening to a word .

BeyondMyWits · 03/04/2024 17:59

My daughter had a problem with uni and exams and stress. She called the surgery and just said "I'm struggling with my mental health and really need to speak to a doctor... I need some help please." Something in those words triggered a response that day. She got the help that she needed.

Pegsmum · 03/04/2024 18:04

My surgery is the same, just make something up.

Hoplittlebunnyhophophopandstop · 03/04/2024 18:05

Bereavement or mental health

hexsnidgett · 03/04/2024 18:09

You could bypass the gp altogether, most health authorities allow you to self refer for mental health services.

ConfrontationDoesntHaveToBeScarey · 03/04/2024 18:12

I think saying "personal reasons" is fine.

My receptionist actually says what's the problem or is it something personal?

Or you could just say I have a headache. You're not going to get told off for it being something else.

theeyeofdoe · 03/04/2024 18:13

You can self refer for some talking therapy here
https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-NHS-talking-therapies-service/what-happens-when-you-refer-yourself

But in the meantime, I would write to the practice manager and say that you need an appointment with the GP within the next two weeks for a confidential reason, which you do not want to disclose to the reception staff. You are happy to speak to a clinician on the phone if they want to know what it is about.

What happens next - Find an NHS talking therapies service - NHS

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-NHS-talking-therapies-service/what-happens-when-you-refer-yourself

whatthehellnow23 · 03/04/2024 18:16

I've been a GP receptionists, we've heard absolutely everything and we aren't phased (not in a bad way but a few tears won't make us prob in fact it may lead us to choose your clinician based around your issue that is more empathetic etc )

We have to ask questions to follow a pathway it's standard practice we really aren't nosey as some believe... in fact it's the opposite we are too focused on trying to maximise appointments to worry pry!

Explain your struggling with bereavement and grief no more should be asked really other than if you are feeling able to keep yourself safe ( mandatory now guys for some practices if the person is audibly upset on a call )

I wish you the best xx

FlipCharter · 03/04/2024 18:20

Is there anyone you could get to make the phone call for you?

They could either give a pre-prepared answer which you have agreed with them, or say that they're not able to give details. The receptionist isn't going to press a third party for details (which they may not know anyway).

Either way they're not likely to break down.

romdowa · 03/04/2024 18:21

Bad stomach? Temperature? Say anything really and then just tell the Dr the real reason when you've the appointment

Cotswoldmama · 03/04/2024 18:21

I work as a GP receptionist you don't need to tell us anything but it would help us to put you with a doctor we think would be suited to your situation. We are bound by confidentiality so would never break that. We get numerous calls daily from people struggling with their mental health. If someone calls and tells me they're struggling I would ask them if they felt they needed to see someone urgently that day or if they would be OK with a routine app. I'd then ask if they had a preferred doctor and would try to put them in with them. If they said it was routine and I couldn't get them in for a few weeks I'd tell them to call back if the situation changed and it became more urgent. We hear it all and don't judge. Everyone is different as are receptionists but I think that in most cases people try to struggle on with mental health and don't contact us until they're quite desperate so I would try to get you in as soon as I could.

Lovelyview · 03/04/2024 18:40

I'm sorry for your loss op. I obviously don't know what reasons you have to not trust the surgery receptionist and I know sobbing on someone you know a bit doesn't feel great but you just have to do what's best for you. It's also completely fine to show you are grieving to others including your children. My heart goes out to you trying to keep it together for other people. Letting people in your life know how you feel gives them the chance to support you. Cruse bereavement support have a helpline 0808 808 1677. It might help you to ring them as well.

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