Feeling dissatisfied & unhappy with life

[sad101]

Just that really. Need to vent and could do with some advice.

I can't help but feel stuck in a rut and so unhappy with my life. It's really getting me down and feels so silly and trivial because in reality I'm probably quite privileged, especially with so much going on in the world we live in.

I'm 22, in a newish relationship. I've recently moved away from family but only around an hours drive. Except I can't drive. My partner has a young child from a previous relationship who stays with us EOWE.

I've recently started a new job that I hate, the thought of being there each day depresses me. I'm often on the verge of tears when I am there.

I've come a long way over the past year. I've figured out what I want from life and I'm taking steps to get to that point. I've stopped drinking (used to drink a lot) but drifted away from friends. I've joined groups to meet people but feel as though I don't have the time or energy. I've just started a foundation degree, I'd previously only studied up to GCSE. I exercise, bake, read, crochet.

On paper I think I should be proud of myself but I feel left behind and just completely unhappy with life.

I don't think it's my relationship that's the problem, I've just got a really pessimistic outlook on life at the minute. I'm also massively broody and want to get married. Im struggling with my self confidence and not feeling good enough. It feels like a catch 22. Also skint

I'm aware that I sound massively ungrateful. Need to just man up

What would you do to turn things around?

Escitalopram really helped me with anxiety and depression - good luck OP

Thanks @ThisNiftyMintCat x

I've been on both sertraline and citalopram in the past, it may be worth revisiting the GP.

Also had CBT but found it didn't work for me.

Just feeling very unfulfilled to be honest! Doesn't help that my job bores me

Seems to me you have had a lot of change recently and this can be draining. I think you need to look at each aspect carefully before you make any decisions.

Learning to drive might be a good start - to give you freedom and opportunities.
The job might be boring - has it got potential or are you looking to change? Do you need to have experience/ qualifications for whatever you want to do next? Be careful not to jack it in on a whim ( my kids are experiencing redundancy and it reflects to me a very different workplace than the one I had)
I mean this kindly - 22 is young and feeling broody is fine but a baby is life changing and perhaps with all the change you have had it’s not the next step ( just yet)

Take time to let things settle and to think of a plan for what you want to do next with the job - just breathe and give yourself time

I am impressed with all your hobbies and foundation degree - you clearly don’t let the grass grow under your feet - best of luck with it all

Well done for starting the foundation degree. Seems to me you're heading in the right direction. Why not start learning to drive also? That will open up other jobs too.

Hi @Restinggoddess , thank you for your kind reply.

I agree that learning to drive would be a good start. I've had a lot of lessons in the past but suffered with a bit of anxiety around it. I've learnt to deal with my anxiety a bit better now so giving it another go seems feasible

I've only been working in my current job for around 6 weeks. I took it thinking it'd be a great opportunity to learn but in reality it's a step down the ladder from what I was doing in my previous role. I was an apprentice within a larger company, I thought working somewhere more tight knit would be a good opportunity to muck in. I spend most of my day being micromanaged over filing. After building myself up for so long my self confidence has taken a battering and I feel as though I can no longer trust my judgement.

You are completely right about having a baby not being the next step but I can't help feeling an overwhelming urge. It's genuinely all encompassing and very hard to think practically. I think I feel worse as my boyfriend has a child from a previous relationship. I shouldn't let it affect me but it does.

Need to just breathe as you say. Thank you again.

I suspect you are smart, a lot smarter than you know or believe, and are aware that you are not reaching or fulfilling your potential, and that is making you unhappy. No wonder the micromanaging when you are doing a menial task like filing is doing your head in. I think it's brilliant you are doing a foundation degree and you have clearly thought about what drives you and you have done well to take steps to change your life. Keep on doing all that head stuff .. I might suggest you quietly start looking around for another job as someone in your work place clearly hasn't grasped your potential and you need a boss who wants you to fly, as much as you want that for yourself. It will happen. I am not sure a baby will give you the satisfaction you ultimately crave although I don't doubt you'd be a very loving Mum. Good luck!

Hi @Emsij123 , I really appreciate your response. I think you've hit it on the head, I'm feeling very unfulfilled and this is causing my unhappiness.

I'm now looking for another opportunity, I just need someone to take a chance on me as I know I have the capability. I'm very eager to learn and need something to really stretch me. I feel as though I'm chasing something unattainable as I'm not sure if I'll ever be 'satisfied'

Going to make a plan/road map of where I'd like to be in 5 years. If I take a step back and just let it go I think I'll be okay.

Thanks again.