How do you deal with very competitive parents in school & extracurriculars?

[Devonco]

Just that.. my dc are 12 & 10.

Just leave them to it. Ignore ignore ignore. Change the subject. Save the worst overheard touchline anecdotes to regale husband with. Or in one hobby I took the first aider role (Girls football team) to prevent my kid being pushed out/ missed out for team selection...

Just let them continue their boring monologues about how fantastic their children are then become vague and befuddled when they start to quiz you about your children. Casually tell them that your dc are only doing the activities for social/health reasons. Say things like "that's nice dear" and "aw, you must be so proud".

Down play any achievements your dc have to throw them off the scent. Tell them you think they have grade 3 something, when in fact they have grade 5 for example. Refuse to join in the competition.

Yeah. Ignore.

Let them get on with it

They will find out one way or another... in my experience

At the ages of your children, why do you need to engage at all. Just drop and go if you don't like the other parents company.

Um. Is the second part regaling us with a worst anecdote as described in the first part? Because doing the second part is an example of an over competitive parent.

IME this is the best way to deal with them, it doesn't matter how good or otherwise your DC are - they just want to be better and boast about them

People attempting to live through their kids are a bit sad really and I just wonder what's lacking so much they need to share such crap content

Yes, best policy is to either feign complete ignorance about what your dc is doing, or say 'That's great, you must be so pleased' when other people tell them about their dc.

It is a bit difficult with dance though, when your dc and theirs are taking ballet exams several grades apart.😂

You are reaching the age where parents just drop off at activities and you don't really have to mix that much with the other parents.

Don't serve your children up for comparison, whether they would be better or worse than the kid in question at whatever the hobby is. Just tell the parent "that's great" and instead of following on with chat about achievements and grades etc just talk about what they love about the sport or funny anecdotes. I'm more likely to tell someone about the race where my daughter lost a shoe in the mud than any that she did well at.

Stop caring!

I go 'yeah, umm' blank look.

I don't spend any time with other parents. I'm just the transportation.

Laugh at them and smugly imply that you don’t need to live through your kids because you have your very own life.

It goes on for ever...
I recently bumped into a vaguely familiar woman.
She told me that she is the mother of a girl from my son's primary school class, our offspring are now in their 30s and did not go to the same secondary school.
This daughter/classmate is now a Paediatrician.
She managed to insert her daughter's Very Important status into every other sentence. I did congratulate her the first time, but it went on and on.....She also neglected to tell me what her other kids are now doing, poor things.
I am now kicking myself for not saying
" Lucky you! All those free foot massages!" as I hurried off. 😁

lol at the free foot massages
save it for next time, in case she hunts you out again

Sometimes people are just so proud of their dc's achievements, they're a bit clueless as to how they can come across. Smile, nod, say 'how lovely for you all' and announce an urgent appointment/bus to catch/make a phone call etc. And then do all you can to avoid them.

Good luck.

Just catching up now. It's so bloody infuriating.. Some parents only speak to others to find out where their dc are at or what they are up to.