Balancing careers and starting a family?

[LostRider]

I (F30) have a good job as an architect and own a house with my partner (32M, self employed). My coworker is going on paternity leave and it has highlighted how inflexible my office is in terms of having a family (for everyone other than the boss who enjoys all school holidays off and extra weeks and days here and there, boss privileges I suppose) . We are currently not allowed flexible work hours or WFH.

Now I have turned 30 and me and my partner are discussing starting a family (hopefully in the next few years) being the first in our friendship group, and my sister being able to afford being a stay at home mum, I have no idea how to build a life that supports this, many of our friends are not looking to have kids at this point or work as teachers so have good maternity policies.

I am happy to put my career on hold to an extent as I have gotten older my priorities have changed and we are limited in terms of mortgage payments etc needing 2 salaries.

Should I consider moving firm to one which may be more flexible despite liking my office and work? It seems a shame to have gone through all the 8 years to qualify to give it up for a part time job but we could probably afford this. Looking for advice from those in a similar circumstance

Any advice from those who have gone through similar welcome and where to start!

You aren't pregnant yet and I'd suggest you are probably better off staying where you are and where you qualify for maternity pay for the time being.

Once you are pregnant you can assess as a couple what you need in terms of flexibility. Your partner is self employed so presumably he can be flexible if needed? What childcare can you afford between you? It's fine to take a step back if you want but don't sleepwalk into giving up or damaging the career you have built and losing your financial independence just because it's socially acceptable/ expected.

I'd say you've got time - regardless you'll get mat leave - so you take ten months or so off, go back full time if you want, use a private nursery - that way you can cover 8-6 hours if you need. You'll have 4-5 years then till school starts. That's the hard bit as school hours are much less and harder to cover. A lot can change in your own company in that time.

Do what you feel ia best. As others say you have time but remember it doesn't always happen for some, it may take time.

Partner's work is flexible finishing around 3.30pm depending on work booked in for the day so could pick up more of the childcare.
I work 1 hour away from our home so wouldn't be home til 6.30pm and leaving at 7.30 am, it would realistically end up being much like how little I saw my dad during early childhood that by the time he got back from work me and my siblings were already in bed through the week.

Is this just common for families these days? We were both brought up in a traditional environment where the mother was stay at home mum.

Seeing how flexible the boss becomes for coworker will be followed but boss is currently very tight with approving leave and wanting to keep tabs on staff outputs etc.