NHS mixed sex - struggling

[toldyouiwasill]

Been admitted to a mixed sex bay for ?appendicitis or pelvic inflammation/gynae problem of some sort. Told I’m getting a scan later.

I’m the only female, everyone else is elderly men. There’s only one toilet. The nurses said there’s no other option, because of the ?appendix it’s a surgical unit.

It sounds silly to be upset but I was sexually assaulted in a hospital years ago (by a colleague) and I’m struggling. I don’t want to speak about that in front of everyone, I’ve got a CMHT and a CPN but I don’t feel able to contact them.

The nurses haven’t said very much, just said to try and sleep but I don’t feel comfortable. I know I’m really wrong to be upset but I’m struggling.

You are not wrong to be upset at all. Is there anyone who can speak up for you? Are you able to contact PALS in your hospital? 'There isn't a ward' I'm pretty sure isn't a good enough excuse, the NHS has fairly new guidance on trans inclusion but that's still based on the principle of single-sex accommodation.

Unfortunately though my love you're going to have to make a fuss.

Why do you feel unable to contact your CPN? I think they would be really keen to support you. Is there anything that could enable you to make contact?

I was in a single room initially then told I had to move in here because I tested negative for Covid. Been waiting six hours for pain relief too which isn’t helping; everyone keeps saying they’ll get me something then they never do.

I’m in Scotland so I don’t think we have PALS, I’m not sure what the equivalent is.

You poor love.
Can you show what you've written here to a nurse and ask if they could contact your CPN for you?

You aren’t wrong to be upset, nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable when they are at their most vulnerable in hospital. This is heightened even more by your history of hospitals.

I would ask to have a word with the ward manager and tell them about your experience or if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, do you have someone who could speak to pals? You could email them yourself if you feel you can talk about it in that way?

It would be having to talk to her on the phone in front of everyone and I’m not guaranteed to get my actual CPN, it would just be a duty worker who would likely ask questions about what happened.

Speak to the nurse in charge and your doctor, ask them if they can contact the bed manager to have you moved onto a female ward or a sideroom.

It's PASS in Scotland but that's for all of Scotland. If you care to share the hospital I'll try and find something specific. It's OK if you don't want to though.

pass-scotland.org.uk

I’ll try to speak to the nurse and I’ll see if I can contact my CPN. They have a crisis management sheet/care plan that I’ve given them a copy of which does highlight history and triggers but I suppose no-one has had the time to read it.

The guy opposite’s IV keeps occluding because he keeps texting, I’m so close to reaching him how to silence the bloody alarm.

Tell them and ask to move.

Do you have relatives or a next of kin?

This is appalling!

NOK is hundred + miles away, and don’t know about assault. Only two female relatives do and they’re even further away. Close friend knows and lives nearby, she can’t come in today but said she will try tomorrow. I’ll try and speak to a nurse. More than anything I don’t know if I really want to be sharing the toilet.

Ask for the Nurse in Charge - if they ask why say it is to do with information on your crisis plan and say no more than that.
Show them what you have written here.
Ask if you can use the relatives' room to call your CPN. You can use a ward phone to do this. If possible get a note of the ward long dial so CPN can liaise with ward as necessary.

Pull your buzzer now or walk up to the nurses' station if you can. You can do this. It is shit that you have to advocate for yourself so strongly but you can do it.

@toldyouiwasill right down the bottom of this page is a Live Chat option - could you try that and see if they can do anything? Even just alert the ward that you need some support and feel unable to speak freely to staff in the bay?
https://www.nhsinform.scot/care-support-and-rights/health-rights/feedback-and-complaints/feedback-complaints-and-your-rights/

Thanks so much, will try and call that number. The painkillers they’ve given me just now have made me feel a bit weird. Hoping that means I’ll sleep for a bit.

If I’m drugged up at least I’m a little bit less anxious I guess.

I'm really surprised and sad to hear you're on a mixed sex ward. I didn't think they existed any more. I would feel very unsafe and vulnerable. Feel better soon OP

Christ this makes me feel sick. No way should mixed sex wards exist. I’m so glad they don’t in my area as I’d refuse to stay. Go and speak to someone they need to move you.

Admissions units are usually mixed sex unfortunately.

The layout usually means each bay is single sex but ultimately it depends on how many men vs women have been admitted that day.

Hopefully it will be clearer after your scan and you will be moved.

I am so sorry OP. I was also sexually assaulted in a hospital and this would be my worst nightmare. I hope they manage to move you.

That's horrific. You shouldn't be made to stay on a mixed sex ward. I'm so sorry.

I thought the trusts get fined for having mixed sex bays.

I’m an NHS Wales nurse and there aren’t mixed wards in my trust. I’m shocked to hear there still are elsewhere in the UK.