Now the COVID pandemic is gone, What are your worst, or best, memories?

[Alondra]

I was talking to my eldest son today and we somehow ended up talking about the worst moments we lived trough Covid. For me, the worst was living in Australia with DH and our two youngest, while he was in Madrid. I was beside myself with worry knowing we couldn't do anything. Zoom helped.....but only for a short while. I've never had as many sleepless nights as I had then.

For my eldest, being in a complete lockdown in a 60 square metre apartment without us or knowing what the future would be, was his worst. He did mention as a positive that he now knows most of his neighbours and is close friends with several, something it wouldn't have happened before lockdowns. :)

From the distance now, what are the things you won't forget, good or bad?

My memories? Working retail, so having to go to work every day, face the public with no precautions taken right at the beginning. Knowing this was a disease that could kill but HAVING to show up at work or no pay, and the terrified public being rude and horrible because we had to ration some things. I didn't blame them, they were scared, we were scared, until the screens and masks became a thing we didn't know what was going to happen or whether we'd still be alive in a fortnight.

Then things settled down a bit, and once vaccination came in and we stopped being so terrified, it was just normal working. But I do get pissed off when everyone says how lovely it was to be furloughed or in lockdown and not having to go out to work during that lovely summer!

Missed my (adult) kids though, but we phoned and Facetimed a lot, and I did see them 1-1 once we could meet one person outside. But my Big Birthday was ruined (we'd been going to go away as a family) - I spent it alone with the dog and a ready meal... but plenty of others had it worse and I feel oddly glad to have gone through it, which is weird.

i live in middle east and flew to uk just as pandemic was starting. ultimately we got stuck in uk for 5 months. best 5 months of my life being quarantined with my wonderful dad who sadly passed away 3 weeks after i left. so many happy memories for myself and my kids

For me, the first lock down and 2020 in general:
I was furloughed the first time schools closed (I was a private school TA and wrap around care worker) then returned. It was a novelty at first - had a clear out, scrubbed the house to an inch of its life, did lots of decorating and DIY, went for a daily walk.
Within a few weeks I was lonely - I was eating stupid amounts - emotional eating. I looked forward to weekly zoom quiz nights and zoom chats with friends but it started to become a big struggle mentally. I live alone.
It was also draining to hear constantly online about furloughed people costing the government so much and that we should have been “earning are keep” and other such crap. It wasn’t our choice , and as someone who worked through school, through university and full time since graduating, plus multiple volunteering posts (Brownie leader being a big one) it was really hurtful.

2021 was in a sense harder and in some ways better. By this point I was teaching and in school for the second lockdown each day with the key worker children but good god that was a drag after a while. The dark winter, my only company being 6 children in my year group bubble for nearly 3 months - again once the novelty wore off….No company outside school, hadn’t seen many friends and family for months anyway….it was a very lonely and mentally tough time.

The worst part for me was a medical issue that began January 2020 - and of course, my follow up appointments were constantly cancelled again and again and once I was finally seen again the issue had developed way beyond what I had even realised and was now a severe emergency and I was almost left disabled……caught and fixed at the absolute brink. I know there are plenty of people out there like me and of course those who lost their lives or were left with life changing problems. I still have ongoing issues from it so yep I’m one of the people the NHS is catching up on still.

I suppose though like many i look back and can take with me that: we get one life, it can be cut short, love life whilst you can, take opportunities. If you can afford that holiday and want to go just go - that kind of thing. It also made me appreciate how much money i was throwing away on things like having my nails done, excess food when I would stop at the shop almost every day….I’ve made a lot of changes.

Best:

• wfh became the norm - its given me 3 hours back every day
• the quietness of the streets
• no pressure to leave the house and do things on the weekend
• Spending time as a family

Worst:

• DH grandfather dying from vaccine injury
• MIL having heart trouble and blackouts since her very first vaccine
• My brother and his wife's funeral in Feb 2021 (not covid related) it was restricted numbers to 30 - so this was split between their sides of the family. So many couldn't attend.
• the fear mongering from the Government, scaring people into compliance with crazy mad rules, when they were breaking all the rules
• was made redundant August 2020, due to covid, main earner at home so had to find a new job pretty quick.
• final Uni exams online at home - pretty stressful
• neighbours grassing on neighbours - absolutely awful.

Well done, so glad you feel much better

Best - DH was furloughed so we were financially okay but it was like having a house husband so childcare sorted, chores done, dinner cooked etc when I came home from work. It was lovely.

Worst - working in ITU. Watching people die. The PPE, while great and kept me safe, was so uncomfortable to wear. The skin broke down on my nose because of my respirator. It was hard.

Problem is for most people Covid is indistinguishable from a common cold, in fact some of the recent crop of colds hit people harder.

We are required by our employers to press on - and very few people test. Everyone is free to make their own choices, and if you choose to shield that is fair enough, but the rest of society has to keep on functioning or else we are back to lockdown and financial and MH ruin for all.

Yep, what's a long covid truther?

Best- I became very conscious of taking vitamins and supplements , did more home cooking , did a bit more excercise and lost some weight

Worst- I did all above because I developed nasty arthritis in neck , weak leg, occipital neuralgia and real issues with nervous system (buzzing, migraines, pins and needles) - came on post covid and post vaccines- couldn't say which caused it- I still have these intermittently but not all the time and not all at same time.

The worst was a long period of juggling working from home with a 9 month old - both parents working long hours, only me able to work from home. I was able to spread the work over 7 days to get the hours in, but no childcare at all available.

The best (though I don't still have it now) was when the childcare came back it just felt so so easy! Not doing hours in the night while a small child slept, not trying to get periods of independent play, just working while alone - then parenting and house after. I felt like That was so easy for a while (I now don't that feels tiring again!)

Oh and we had a young child who really did learn to play independently. For some crazy reason I didn't want to use screens at all during that time but we needed him to go to sleep independently, have periods of independent play, be content just watching and not having attention constantly (and there was periods of attention too). That did create a really good and steady sleep routine, as well as day routine and really made a difference. Before I was rocking him to sleep for long periods etc and it just wasn't possible anymore! We sleep trained in the gentlest way possible and had periods where he played with toys while mummy sat next to him on the floor but worked so not actively interacting. Those skills helped our lives for a long time afterwards and we still now he's 5 have a child who will play on his own for long periods very happily which is great!

I was very lucky. I missed my family but other than that I loved the peace & quiet, the time with DH & the sense that everything was suspended in time. I then worked on the delivery of the vaccination programme and that was amazing

the worst was the proof that the those who ‘govern’ us really didn’t give a shit and incapable of understanding even the most basic information about the r rate and virus transmission

Best - my company finally giving everyone a laptop and allowing us to WFH. This in turn enabled me to move out of London to a much nicer house and lifestyle.
Worst - the sheer loneliness and isolation. We had one small child and it was just the three of us for weeks at a time. I found that so hard and missed my friends and family chronically.

Worst: Fear that me, DH or baby would die. Dreadful postnatal anxiety in lockdown 2, stuck indoors in a one bed flat all winter with a crying baby once DH went back to work after furlough.

No baby groups, the sheer isolation of it all. Midwife and HV appointments by video link.

Best: Having DH at home for 6 months after baby was born 2 months into lockdown 1.

I dont have any good memories.

I became addicted to alcohol, put on over 35kg, nearly destroyed my marriage. And because of the alcohol i took my eyes off my 14yr old daughter, who became involved with gangs, problems with police etc....

Thankfully, we turned everything around once Covid was over, but it was hell on earth for me.

My worst, not being with my husband during life saving surgery. Watching my mother prepare to perform cpr on him will haunt me forever. I think it haunts her too. Subsequently we found out that there was a Downing Street party a mile from his hospital the night he had surgery.

The best: the weeks we all locked down together, with him wfh. Coincidentally right after we married.

I'm quite an anxious person so for all of 2020 I was fine: I had prepped (I remember a big long thread on MN about what to buy, I bought a lot in, not in a panic-buying way but just before that) and I have a decent garden and places to walk and no small children so I felt...ok, here it is.

And then I crashed totally in 2021. I remember looking at the button on a traffic crossing and remembering how we were not allowed to push the button, the traffic lights had been set so pedestrians went when they were told, and I thought, this has been the most mental experience of my entire life. It was such a little thing that set it off. I don't think I've been the same since to be honest.

In some ways it was nice not having to force myself to be sociable (I love people but I also love my own company), that actually felt nice, but I have become far too self-sufficient and I forget that people are nice to be around as well.

I also started really needing to talk to myself, which hadn't been a thing before. I used to go on remote walks so I could do it and not look mad.

I went VVLC with my mother, because I wanted to check on her to see if she was fine, but every contact I had from her was some kind of small drama and she never checked on us. She just wanted to know if I'd known anyone who'd died, to feed her little drama engine I suppose. Nothing about us or our wellbeing. Realised that was her MO all my life and just thought, fuck it.

The worst was being diagnosed with cancer but the positive in respect of that was my treatment was immediate, no waiting and the travelling I had to do was on empty roads with no issues parking. The best was being able to relax and recover. Do tons of exercise. We walked miles each day. The lovely weather. Then later on my daughter and I getting done up on a Saturday night for a trip to B&M 😆. Kitchen discos. I really missed my wider family too, that was hard.

I loved it. I just had dc. Dh was furlough, then paternity then holiday so had ages off. So we managed to decorate house, sort garden, lots of family time.
We were lucky it didn't affect us really except missing other family. We see both sets parents weekly ish so not seeing them was hard as we all get on so well

I have so many bad memories. I had two awful neighbors that treated it like a holiday in a loud resort. Constant music and noise for 10 hours a day on one side and a drug addict on the other side waking me up screaming and playing up from 3am. I survived on 3 hours sleep a night and worked in a stressful job. I was worried sick about my family.

The few decent memories I have is after the first lockdown and spending some time with friends. My bf and I used to get small takeaways and sit in the car to eat!

Best: having my children home and school of mum, I absolutely loved it - so did they! We still talk about it now.

Worst: the CF parents that insisted somehow their kids should be in school and pretended to be a key worker.. boiled my piss!!

Why? Should we all just pretend it didn’t happen?

The best
The amazing weather that first lockdown
The sense of togetherness even when apart, everyone pulling together, sharing stories over the fence with neighbours, watching out for one another, checking on elderly, helping with shopping
Getting off the hamster wheel of life and not rushing around from, school, work, extracurricular activities etc
WFH and generally having more time to enjoy a slower pace, time to cook properly, time to garden, time with DCs, time connecting with friends and family more even if it was via FaceTime.

The worst
The people who died and suffered in hospitals and care homes alone without family.
The utter shambles that was our government and the reality of how utterly unprepared we were for such a crisis.
Fear and Suspicion - seeing how fearful people became, especially older people some of whom have never recovered. People who became suspicious of others for leaving their house more than once for a daily walk.
Young people who missed out on education and vital experiences of growing up and who still struggle.
The exams fiasco- the bloody algorithm 🤬
The opportunism and blatant funnelling of public money into the hands of people, many with government connections who provided substandard PPE and other equipment not fit for purpose.
Test and Trace - again another example of public money going to Tory cronies.
Test and Trace- Being interrogated about our movements in a 30 minute call when DD caught Covid at school. Ridiculous questions and sinister threats about leaving the house made me vow never to engage with this nonsense again.
The App - again completely controlling and more money wasted.
QR codes - scanning and signing into cafes and restaurants.

I could go on but having blocked a lot of it out, it is actually making me quite angry.

Worst - unable to visit relatives abroad and worrying about them
Best - actually, quite a lot: being able to finally wfh and spend so much time together as family, games, puzzles.
Empty roads so we cycled a lot with the children.
My youngest really benefitted so much from not needing to go to school at an age when in many countries kids do not even start school and just play a lot, not picking up every bug going around, so not being sick.
Eldest becoming very responsible and sensible teen and being a huge help around the house.
I am fully aware it was an awful time for hcps and people with elderly vulnerable relatives, and that we were lucky in that respect.

My youngest qualified as an OT and rotated onto a respiratory ward in central London Jan 2020. We were beside ourselves with worry about how it would affect her mentally. Her siblings and I took it in turns to send a little present to her every week, such as bath bombs, bottle of aperol, chocolates to keep her morale up. Needn't have worried she sailed through the crisis and is now a senior OT.

Lockdowns will be talked about for a long time to come. People are free to scroll on by if it is upsetting for them. At least those of us who did lose people can make sure that they are seen as people and not (as in my mum's case), just part of a number that was ticker- taped across the t.v screen every evening at 5pm. THAT was insensitive, not hearing stories of others enjoying themselves. I'm glad they did, I have no right to expect everyone to be as sad and overwhelmed as I was, than for others to expect me to have enjoyed it.