Starting new job and pregnant

[terrariumlover]

I'm starting a new job shortly and it's a management role, there's a 3 month probation.

It's a dream role for me, a step up in position, 22% salary increase and new sector I've never been in before. It's fair to say I'm excited.

I'm also going to be just over 19w pregnant when I start. I am showing but have got some lovely new work pieces in a size up which hide my bump, for now.

How on earth do I navigate this? I don't want them to think I've taken the piss, I really want this job. I know I won't even qualify for SMP so I'm not there for a maternity package at all. Just a dream job.

You’re going to have to tell them within 6 weeks. They can’t dismiss you because you’re pregnant but they could dismiss for pretty much any other reason in your first 2 years.

You’re going to have to get in there and wow them.

@Itsaloadofbollocksbut yes I know the rules that I have to tell them by 25 weeks, it just feels so scary because of the below 2 year rule.

I went in to interview for a lower role but they offered a senior one due to how much I impressed. I hope this is a glimpse of the future!

I think you have to have a positive approach to this. Presumably you were quite pregnant at the point of interview/offer.

@Itsaloadofbollocksbut yes, around 4ish weeks ago. I will try maintain the positivity, hopefully.

If you wowed them so much they offered you a better role than the one you interviewed for I think they’ll be a bit miffed to be honest.

@Moveoverdarlin it's a shame women can't chase their dreams because they're pregnant.

Then other people have to cover for you because you weren't honest at the interview, yeah that's the way to do it inconcivence as many people as possible

Unless it was a very long time ago

@WandaWonder you don't legally have to disclose it, so why should I?

I thought people (you know, cos it's Mumsnet) would be more supportive but clearly not.

I thought people (you know, cos it's Mumsnet) would be more supportive but clearly not

Because hiding a pregnancy and starting a new job when you’re going to go off in a few months does far more harm to women than good. Yes there are success stories of the woman returning from mat leave and wowing them and all ends well, but the reality is next time, their conscious or unconscious bias will prefer the male candidate.

Tell those who need to know as soon as you join. Trying to hide that you’re 5 months pregnant by wearing loose tops will reflect badly on you.

They can and do.
Unfortunately, the fact that you interviewed while pregnant and didn't mention it, is unlikely to make a good impression.

Because it would have been professional.
Women on Mumsnet are extremely supportive of women who are pregnant. Of all women.
Sometimes posters say things that make you roll your eyes a bit and say "no wonder we are still treated like this in the workplace" and make you feel less supportive.

Tell them immediately and hopefully they'll be ok about you starting and then leaving on maternity again about 3 months later.

I think continuing to hide this will reflect badly in you. I would consider you to be untrustworthy. I had a new recruit do this, she started in a role and was off for a year after four months.

Did you know you were pregnant when you interviewed? When are you due to start?

I would try and get a teams call with your manager tomorrow to tell them you are pregnant. Are you planning to take the full year? I think even though you don't have to trying to give them an idea of how long you will be taking off will be very helpful for them.
We had someone start in my work - not my team but one I work closely with in the April /May. And she went off on mat leave in the December, she must have got pregnant straight away/been early when she started. No one batted an eyelid.
In my previous job a Director was offered the job whilst on mat leave and the company waited nine months for her to start.

What about women who are made redundant in very early pregnancy? Why should they be unable to get a job and suffer financially just because they are pregnant?

Go for it OP!

It's shocking, but nothing to do with this thread.

OP, you should be fine and let your new employer know after you start in the normal way to enable them to find a replacement to cover your mat leave. We have women start their new job while pregnant and nobody minds at all and are supportive.

Got to admit I would be really disappointed if you didn't tell me ASAP re pregnancy. Yes it's unfair and thankfully things have moved on markedly attitude wise .But the reality is your going to be only working a few months assuming you don't have any issues then you are off just as you are getting the hang of the job with less support .Then the job needs covered with hopefully an overlap period cos the cover needs training .
It's totally frustrating as a boss when this happens and yes I did employ the woman who said I'm pregnant at interview. My boss was furious but she told me what her plan was and when she planned on returning.
I did fume at the one who omitted to mention she was 4 months . Reality was she wasted everyone's time in the end and we ran short staffed for so long

Well it is, because if those women want a new job, they have to start the job pregnant. People need to stop berating women who get a job when pregnant.

OP I wish you all the best. You have the same protection a week in, as 3 months in so I think you'd be better placed to tell them sooner. Once you've wowed them of course.

Some companies are supportive of pregnant employees, go in expecting them not to fire you! You have already impressed them and you have 4 months to go before maternity leave.

I don't think you needed to tell them at interview (ok it was after the 12 week scan but still relatively early - presumably you weren't showing or anything), but might be worth telling them when you start - you will need time off for your 20 week scan and this should be recorded as pregnancy related leave (not sick leave so it shouldn't count against you).

Starting a job that pregnant means you will disappear for a year after barely learning the ropes. And that's assuming you have a relatively easy pregnancy. And then you want to come back part time and whine about everyone being unsupportive. There's a professional way to handle these situations and not being open isn't it. Once you are past 12 weeks, there is no excuse. And even then, if you are in a stable position, you are better off staying where you are while navigating pregnancy and work.

There will always be more opportunities.

As a small business owner, this would be my worst nightmare. You are going to be there and barely learn the role, then go off for a considerable period of time which then means starting again from scratch when you get back - and someone else having to cover a post that has just been filled. And they're landed paying you annual leave accrued, national insurance/pension contributions and 8% of your maternity pay for the privilege. Not sure how they're going to be wowed, to be truthful.

Talk to them about it asap, and work with them to make it work for everyone. It’s not the most convenient situation, and i think having a year off is what they might envisage so you should communicate your plans (and don’t wait another 5 weeks!)

Think now now about what it is you want and map out a plan. For example do you want to come in, learn the job really well, take 6/12/18 /24 weeks off (do keeping in touch days) and then come back full time? What’s your plan for childcare? Have you already booked it? Will you need some work from home or a period part time?

I was in a job as a temp for 6 months, then they offered me a permanent role and i negotiated 3 months off in between to go travelling. They were happy to have a good permanent candidate and gave me 3 months unpaid. I had no kids.

When i had my kids (self employed) i went back after a 3 of months two mornings a week, and built back up gradually over few weeks so although i didn’t get a long time off i think it worked in my favour as i didn’t have a long time off and it wasn’t hard to get back in. But you’ll need good childcare, ideally a nanny at the start, to make it work and luck that the birth goes ok. Someone else i know who is self employed had 2 weeks off (personally that would have been too hard for me) and didn’t breastfeed because that was her plan.

@MultiplaLight this was my situation unfortunately. I didn't up and leave a secure role for another.

I am a high risk pregnancy and haven't seen my friends in a while to avoid bringing it up.

Some of these comments are quite overwhelming.

This wasn't a situation I put myself in, it's one I had no choice in.

This is a high risk pregnancy, I was told I was unable to have children and here I am. I see my consultant every 4 weeks to check on things and make sure we're both safe.

I have never been in this position before therefore it didn't cross my mind to mention it, truthfully because I was scared that my baby wouldn't make it.

Thanks anyways for the comments.

Sorry but now you're dripfeeding..