How do you know when a man just wants sex?

[Lilllypad11]

What are the giveaways that a man is only dating or involved with you with the hope of sex? How does one figure this out?

By not sleeping with them straight away? / on the first date

Well, my focus was always on my own wishes and preferences, so I used to prefer to sleep with someone immediately, so I could weed out the sexually incompatible/dreadful/inert, so if I chose not to see them again after we slept together, I suppose they might have thought I was ‘only in it for the sex’.

Just don’t have sex you don’t want, whether that’s on your first date or sixtieth. I certainly wouldn’t go along with some kind of idea that sex is something women allow men to do to them as some kind of ‘reward’ for commitment.

when i was dating back in the day.. the ones just wanting sex were easy to spot! normally their chat became 'saucy' pretty quickly, would he quite 'handsy' and quick to suggest going back to theirs for a night cap.

don't be pressured into having sex.. make em wait..

Yet I'm assuming the op wants to avoid men that only want sex so sleeping with every man you meet straight away to find out which one only wants sex defeats the purpose of trying to avoid them doesn't it 🙃

But no one has suggested that. I said ‘Don’t have sex you don’t want, on the first date or the sixtieth’. Focus on what you want. Don’t try to second-guess someone else’s wishes.

he’s breathing

I would say lots of compliments , being really flattering rather than actually getting to know you.

My best friends dating a guy that is giving her super mixed signals. She’s convinced he only wants sex but I said I have no idea. He’s basically told her he’s looking for a commitment and that’s what he’s looking to achieve from dating, he takes her for food etc they have a chat about work and life. But then he gets very handsy with her on the goodnight kisses, and the chat gets frisky etc

I told her to go with the flow for a bit as I don’t know him nor what he really truly wants from her.

What are the mixed signals?

But why is this all about what he might want? What does she want? Does she want to have sex with him? Does she only want to have sex with him under certain conditions?

He’s not been consistent via text with her. He works in healthcare though as a physio.

By getting to know them before sleeping with them? How would we know just ask them would be simpler

i litterally just asked hubby (he was a serial dater before we met!) how you know when a man just wants sex... and his reply was.... they will tell you!

Really?so they just cut straight to it

apparently so... i'm aware of his history... he was very open and honest about.. and he would tell those he dated if it was purely a 'sex' thing...

Ask him what he is after. Ask!

When I was dating, the men who were just after sex said that they were just after sex.

There are men though who do want a relationship but may decide after 1 or more dates that they do not want one with you and then that ends up with just sex. This is the confusing scenario.

Like the poster up thread said, you'll never be 100% sure so just focus on what you want. Get to know the person and if you want to date for ages or sleep with that person then that is your decision.

I’d say most men don’t do this. They lead women on believing they want more just to get sex. I think your DH is unusual and he doesn’t speak for all men.

My experience with OLD was that most men would say they were looking for a relationship even if they weren’t! But men who turned the conversation sexual quickly, men who wanted to sext before you’d even met, the one charmer I met who seemed nice enough on the first date but who seemed intent on getting me back to his house or out in to the woods 🤔 for the second dates all got binned off!

Agree, they get sleazy really really quickly.

a text starts to get a bit innuendo led - always. Without fail