Why can I not just sit and write this thing?

[toldyouiwasill]

I’ve got my final bit of writing for uni due in 16 days. I’m getting nowhere. It’s 4500 words, I have a checklist of what needs done and I have my topic. It’s a hypothetical research proposal. My supervisor has worked with me to make it as simplistic as possible.

And I can’t fucking do it.

I’m so terrified of failing, that I just sit and panic all day long. I am getting nowhere at all.

If I talk to uni I think they would offer me an office space on campus, I’m neurodivergent and have been at uni that fucking long I’ve got friends in ‘high places’ so I know that I’d be offered a room somewhere.

And I’ve been told to ask for an extension.

This has to be done, my graduation depends on it being passed and my career depends on having my degree - I’ve got a job lined up.

How can I make myself focus? Part 1 was handed in in January and I got an upper second for that, so surely to Christ I can do this too.

Two things help me when I get like this - Pomodoro and Focusmate.com. The latter was recommended on here and has been a complete revelation for me. I recently had to write a very scary, very long thing, for publication and I absolutely wouldn’t have got it done without Focusmate.

No real advice but I wrote my diss in 4 days absolutely consumed by guilt that I would fail because I couldn't get it started. I spent 3 months before that worrying myself into being crippled by procrastination. So I definitely understand, it's the mental block around relaxing and being able to just let go and write. I agree with pp on pomadoro method, but also just absolute self belief to power you through. You know what you need to do, you have all the tools and all the smarts. You've got this far and done this well, your in the homestretch. Everything you have to say is so valuable, You've got this!

Have you tried zoning out a bit instead of zoning in. I do a job that requires long periods of concentration and focus, something that evades me in my every day life. So before I get to work I run on a treadmill for five miles listening to loud music, and afterwards the exhaustion in my body really aids my mental state. I don’t know why, but it really works and I’m able to articulate my thoughts better,drown out inner voices and be 100% more productive and efficient.

No advice but I feel the pain. All my uni essays were written the night before a deadline: all night. I wish I'd known im ND

So fail, OP. Write a crap proposal. Allow yourself to be dreadful. In a worst case scenario, it’s considerably better than no submission. And you may find that once you’ve got your crap version down, you can see how to improve it.

I just had a look at focusmate that someone recommended. It looks brilliant, that would have helped me so much!

Can you start with a really innocuous part of it? I could never write in order for uni, I just wrote random paragraphs until I started to have enough to move them around and put them together. My introduction was always the last thing I wrote.

If you’re finding you just sit and look at it and panic then get up and go to a different place and do something else which requires concentration for a bit. I liked playing pool for this. Exercise is a good one if you like it.

Exercise is a good one if you like it

This could be a good one. I probably have ADHD and am a lifelong procrastinator. I prepared for a big interview where I could have had to talk in depth about a huge range of topics in a very niche field with our department heads and directors and I just went for walks and practiced discussing X, Y or Z, thinking about what I would say and found it really helpful.

So you could go for a walk with your checklist in a notebook and just think about each section and sketch out what you need to write. Hopefully you'll flesh out the outline and then have something to write up.

Also, break it down into steps. 4500 words is about 10 pages. So maybe allow a couple of days of thinking then aim to write a page a day for 10 days, which will leave you a few days for editing, reading through and finalising.

Good luck.

Interesting, I am the same, I have a big piece of work to do and have procrastinated very well now for over a year and caused myself serious anxiety over it to the point of exhaustion. Even though I know I can do it. Need help with the final push. Out of interest, why is this an indication of being ND?

People with ADHD have terrible executive function. It's crippling. We know we just have to get something finished but can't find the focus to do it unless it's exciting / interesting / gives us a dopamine hit