AIBU DH friend annoyed at him.

[Cliffordthbigreddog]

So, my DH has a friend who he's known for about 15 years. I've always thought he was a bit of a volatile character but I rarely saw him so wasn't all that bothered.

Yesterday, he randomly messaged my DH saying delete my number and never message me again, you don't make enough effort.

DH was quite upset as he's always been there for him, even though he's incredibly busy with our own young family. Whilst DH doesn't proactively reach out to him, he has never not returned a call or provided help when needed.

DH messaged back to say, if that's what you want, I'll do that.

AIBU to tell DH good riddance and that you don't need that volatility and negativity in your life?

Who needs a drama llama in their life, when they've got a young family?

His friend needs to grow up.

Tbh I'd be questioning this person's mental health. It depends very much on if the friend has form for being manipulative and using emotional blackmail. If they do then I'd say yes give them a wide berth, but if this is out of the blue then I'd be inclined to reach out because they could be in a mental health crisis and need help but not feel able to ask for it. Then your dh can better gauge the situation and make whatever call feels right to him.

Guaranteed he will resurface as he hasn't been given the attention he wanted

We all have flaws and faults but generally we love our friends for who they are faults and all

you clearly don’t like him and I except your pleased

a message like that doesn’t come out of nowhere it’s a shame to kick 15 years friendship to the kerb off the back of one message
from what you say there is some truth in the fact he doesn’t make an effort
whilst life’s busy at the moment friends are very important

So… he doesn’t ever initiate contact with his friend but will reply to messages? That does make him quite a shitty friend. Friendship isn’t one way; you don’t have friends who you reply to but won’t message first to chat or go out as well.

Guy was probably having a moment and realised that his mate never bothers with him unless he messages first. And friends like that aren’t worth it.

Probably best that you guys just leave him now; as he has asked.

I agree with @WarshipRocinante. Your husband has been a really bad friend. if he hasn't tried to contact him at all for a long time then I don't blame the other man for getting upset.

I think the friend has overreacted, but if your DH never initiates contact he isn't much of a friend.