If you were REALLY sorry for your crime...(TW: SA)

[RottingInBed]

Hello all,

I've been binge watching a series called "Kids Behind Bars: Life or Parole" on Ch4. Basically teenagers who committed horrendous crimes (incl gang rape, burning someone to death) finding out whether they will stay in jail forever or be given a chance at parole at some point.

The victim's family is present during these hearings, hoping they will be told the criminals are not eligible for parole. Now of course, the criminals all claim to be rehabilitated (often having found God inside!) and to be truly sorry for their actions. But are still arguing that they SHOULD be released, in total defiance of what the victim's family wants.

So this is my question - if you had killed someone and you were IN FACT truly sorry and wanted to make it up to the family, would you not just STAY in jail (or even undergo the death penalty maybe, if that's what you'd been sentenced to?)

Has someone ever, in the history of the world, said "I did a terrible thing and I've rightly been sentenced to a full life term/the death penalty and frankly I deserve it and therefore I won't appeal?"

Thanks

This is spot on. I am in a situation where my relative's killer could be allowed parole in a couple of years and if we could somehow know that he'd used his time in prison to do courses, learn a trade, was going to come out and live a law abiding fulfilling life I think most of my family would come to terms with that. Speaking for myself I could. The big big fear is that it could happen again, to someone else. The point of remorse is that it stops you doing that wrong action again. Prison is about keeping society safe, not retribution. It's not going to create justice or balance because that will never be possible.

@mydogwantsabone thanks for your post and I'm so sorry for your loss.

How does this variation in sentencing impact your feelings about people being truly sorry/serving their full sentence?

Theoretically, two people commit the same crime, one in the UK and one in the US, the UK person gets 20 years and the person in the US gets 500 years.

The UK person never asks for any parole/early release and serves their full 20, you would accept they've done their punishment and could potentially be truly sorry?

The US person also serves 20 years, but then asks for parole... you'd consider them not to be truly sorry because they need to do another 480 years to prove they're truly sorry?

It doesn't really make much sense. When you add in the inconsistencies in sentencing on factors like wealth and race....it's far more complex.

@NuffSaidSam very good point! I think what I'm saying is part of being truly sorry is accepting whatever lawful sentence you're given whether it's 6 months or 999 years. Or even death. Purely BECAUSE the law says that is the sentence you deserve. But yes, a lot easier for someone committing crimes in the UK.

But the law isn't equally and fairly applied.

We know that black people are more likely to be given the death sentence than white people, poor people more likely than rich people, men more likely than women.

So potentially, a poor black man would have to die to prove he's truly sorry, but a white man who committed the same crime could do 20 years and you'd consider the possibility that he's truly sorry? Or would you expect the white man to appeal against his lenient sentence and say 'actually I probably deserve the death penalty for this?'.

@NuffSaidSam that's a very good point, about race.

And whilst we're on inequalities (absolutely agree with the PP about racial inequalities), you seem to be pushing for harsher sentences for children than for adults, whereas by development of neurophysiology, children are actually wired to be more likely to have some capacity for change. I don't believe in just slapping child criminals on the wrist, but it definitely isn't appropriate to punish them more severely than people who committed their crimes with fully mature brains.

@nocoolnamesleft that's an interesting point. Are women/children treated harsher than men sometimes because people are so horrified that they would commit an evil crime. (Maybe by the media if not the sentencing judge)

No, i'm not saying children deserve longer sentences. It's just that this was the topic of the programme at hand. And of course if someone older commits a really bad crime and gets 40 years, there's a much higher chance they would be dead/v old before getting released.

yes, a lot of prisoners accept that they are having a fair punishment, and also a lot were abused as children. I work in a UK cat A prison

And care experienced....

Except studies say the death penalty doesn’t bring closure for the victims families.
https://deathpenaltyinfo.org/policy-issues/victims-families

That would suggest that those in favour of the death penalty hold that view at the expense of the victim/their families [slow handclap to them]