Old diary - surprised at how obsessed I was with finding a boyfriend

[Larios]

I recently found a diary of mine from my last year in school and early 20s. I am a bit surprised at how much time I spent worrying about finding a boyfriend and how much I let that affect my happiness. I did all the usual things for that age - holidays, travel, parties, uni, moved out of home, part time jobs, spent lots of time with friends but I seem to put a lot of energy into worrying whether some guy I kissed at a party actually liked me, or if anyone would ever like me, etc. I had a boyfriend for two years and barely wrote in the diary while I was with him as I was much happier, then we broke up and it all started again. It’s over 20 years ago now and I don’t remember those years that way! Was it just me or did other people obsess over relationships and so on at that age?

I think you obsess with everything at that age!

I was thinking about that recently. I was the complete opposite.

At the same age it never occurred to me that I should be looking for a husband or life partner. I think everyone else was busy looking and I was off in a dream world of my own.

I had escaped an unhappy childhood and a mum who told me daily to avoid marriage & childbearing like the plague. I was just enjoying being free and relaxed. The last thing I wanted was to attach myself to anyone.

Then the next thing I knew, I was 40 and everyone was coupled up. 🙄

So I think you were much more switched on than I was. Maybe you had a mum in the background telling you to get a move on.

@SheepAndSword thats true, I was also worried about exams, friendships and so on but the boyfriend thing really jumps out.

@Meadowfinch my parents didn’t put me under any pressure or comment either way on boyfriends etc. I think i just lacked self confidence and thought having a boyfriend was proof that I was ‘good enough’.

i ended up meeting someone when I was in my mid-twenties and had kids with him but we separated after about 15 years.