How much to give to honeymoon fund?

[Movinghouseatlast]

We have been invited to a wedding abroad. We are honoured to have been asked, but it's proving to be very expensive! Flights have cost £400, hotel is £350 for 3 nights. We will need to hire a car. I think when I accepted the invitation I didn't think it through.

They have said no gifts are expected but if you want to give to the honeymoon fund you can. I'm a bit conflicted about this, I don't know how much to give.

This says a lot about me I'm sure, but we earn a lot less than the bride and groom ( I know this because of job/ role. We don't discuss our incomes!)so I kind of feel as we are spending so much to go we shouldn't need to give too much. But I don't want to look mean either.

If I was having a wedding abroad, I wouldn't expect a gift whatsoever as people are already paying to come to the wedding.

Clearly you aren't the bride in this case as she has asked for a contribution

Why are you honoured to be invited OP? Do you consider the B &G to be superior to you? It doesnt seem like much of an honour to be having to soend more than you are comfortable with

On the amount I can't help, I'd have no idea either, it's putting guests in a difficult position, how does it even work, do you give cash, bank transfer or will they have a card.machine as the wedding , all very heavy ino

The couple have said no gifts are expected.

With the expense you have had to go to their wedding, they are probably just really chuffed you are going to be there that will be more than enough. The honeymoon bit will just be for those that are really pushy about still giving something.

Just go and enjoy.

£20 in the currency of the honeymoon destination

The B&G are checker fuckers - who the heck foists that sort of cost onto their guests AND mentions contributions to a honeymoon fund?! I’d probably stretch to £50 if I really wanted to give something but no more, given the circumstances.

We felt honoured because they haven't invited many people, so I guess it made us feel like valued friends. I just didn't think through how much it would cost.

They have got a web page where you can give money. I love the idea of a card machine though!!!

I usually gift £50

I don’t think I would gift in this scenario if I’m honest.

So presumably an abroad wedding to save on costs , wedding guests perhaps needed as photo props rather than just the two of them and have a FB page for collection of honeymoon cash....nope wouldn't attend.

I can’t decide if I’d give £50 or nothing.