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Memorial Service Ideas

5 replies

YellNellBell · 29/03/2024 08:47

My mum died last weekend quite suddenly. I am heartbroken which sounds like a cliché but isn’t. It truly hurts.

My mum did not want a funeral and so instead I have decided to organise a memorial service in about a month’s time. In the meantime, my mum is having a direct cremation which should happen in the next week also which was what she wanted. I’ll be scattering her ashes on her favourite beach later on in the year.

It does seem that a large proportion of the elderly people in our local area must have died around the same time as the first appointment I could get to register her death is not until 11 April! To keep myself busy, as well as clearing out her house, I have already booked the venue for a memorial service which is a suitably hippy woodland burial site. My mum was an art student in the 60s and was a real hippy wild child of her day and so the day will need to be not your normal common or garden memorial service so as to reflect a very cool personality.

I have booked the caterer to prepare a funeral tea after the memorial service which will both take place on the same site. I am meeting a humanist celebrant who seems appropriately liberal and broad minded. My brother is a graphic designer and he is going to prepare a large display board with photographs and memories of our mum and he will also design an order of service. We will play her favourite music as people walk in (Joni Mitchell) and in the background whilst people are eating the funeral tea. Because of distance and age of attendees and a few family rifts, I am expecting about 35 people.

What have I forgotten? Is there anything that I should also be thinking of? My brain is a lot like a heady mixture of scrambled eggs and porridge right now. Any advice or suggestions would be gratefully received.

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Treesnbirds · 29/03/2024 11:21

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this, it must be completely devastating 😭. It sounds like you've done so well, already organising so much and sounds like a lovely day- in as much as these things can be. Could you have a book for people to write memories of her in?

YellNellBell · 29/03/2024 11:24

Treesnbirds · 29/03/2024 11:21

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this, it must be completely devastating 😭. It sounds like you've done so well, already organising so much and sounds like a lovely day- in as much as these things can be. Could you have a book for people to write memories of her in?

Oooooooh! Brilliant idea. Thank you 😊

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Andthereyougo · 29/03/2024 13:24

I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ve done brilliantly to organise so much.
A book for guests to write their memories or a message for you is a lovely idea from @Treesnbirds

If you want to think of your mum’s memory being widespread you could give each guest a little packet of flower seeds to plant or scatter near their home. Poundland have boxes of Butterfly and Bees mix atm, you’d just need some envelopes. Or maybe a bag of sunflower seeds.

PermanentTemporary · 29/03/2024 13:26

I think this sounds like a wonderful tribute to your mum and I hope you find peace there.

YellNellBell · 29/03/2024 17:06

Andthereyougo · 29/03/2024 13:24

I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ve done brilliantly to organise so much.
A book for guests to write their memories or a message for you is a lovely idea from @Treesnbirds

If you want to think of your mum’s memory being widespread you could give each guest a little packet of flower seeds to plant or scatter near their home. Poundland have boxes of Butterfly and Bees mix atm, you’d just need some envelopes. Or maybe a bag of sunflower seeds.

Oh, that’s lovely too. Thank you. I’m telling everyone to wear comfy clothes - my mum hated anything else and, although she only ever wore black, she’d want everyone to just be themselves.

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