Feeling cheeky asking Aunty for money ...would you say anything?

[ohletthesunshine]

My aunty lives abroad
For some reason on Christmas /easter she puts £100 or £200 in my account
I tell her every time not too but she says my mum isn't here anymore so she likes to treat me (I'm mid 30s)
We only speak now via email as she has no landline
Anyway she emailed saying
I've just put some money in your account (email last night ) hope you got it okay as my stupid computer wasn't working properly
Anyway nothing in my bank
I feel rude saying -no haven't received anything
It's like me begging for money isn't it?
But at the same time I don't like the idea of her possibly transferring money to a wrong account and her loosing out.
What do I do ?
Mention it or not ?

I don't think it's begging if she's told you she's done it. However it might appear after the bank holiday? Wait until Tuesday and then check. If she thinks she's given it to you she wouldn't want it to go astray.

I think send her a message wishing her a Happy Easter and say the money isn't in your account but your keep a eye out for it. Then just ask how she is.

Yeah I would say something along the lines of thanks so much for the kind gesture but I haven't received it - hope it was just a computer problem and hasn't gone to an unknown account!

Yes. Obviously make the message a chatty one but add something like ‘thanks so much for the message about the Easter gift. You are always so kind and it’s much appreciated. Nothing showing in account yet so if you've sent something it might have gone wrong. No need to send anything if course! Just thought you should know’

I agree, tell her it’s not in but that you’ll watch for it, and let her know.

I've just replied saying hope your well and told her I'm going on holiday soon and can't wait for sun
Then I just said thankyou you didn't have too
I will let you know when it goes in as it's bank holiday today
Then if nothing what do I say Tuesday?

Well if it doesn’t turn up and it’s been given to the wrong account of course you need to let her know.

you have to tell her, she needs to check she has the right account details op

Your aunty sounds lovely - not the point I know!

If she truly believes she has sent you money and you’ve not received it then your need to tell her. She needs to check with her bank where it’s gone.
You’re not asking for it, she’s choosing to give it. It clearly gives her pleasure so stop fussing about it.

Yes tell her asap. She should check whether it actually left her account.

@ohletthesunshine I can understand you feeling awkward, but you do need to be honest with her if it isn't in your account by Wednesday (allowing for time differences etc)

apart from the lost money this time, it's going to be worse if it keeps happening & it'll be awful having to admit you lied this time.

dont keep telling her she doesn't need to do it, just thank her & maybe mention something you've bought with the money. She wants to treat you, give her the enjoyment of knowing you've treat yourself to something nice.

Hi OP, I transferred some money to a savings account over a weekend and it didn't appear in the account until the next business day, despite me asking for a 2 hour transfer. Some banks do not process funds immediately. Check again on Tuesday.

If she hadn’t mentioned sending you any money and you asked where your Easter money was, then that could be seen as begging. But she has mentioned it so it is fine to say you haven’t received it yet

And if it's coming from abroad that might account for the delay, as well.

I think it will go in Tuesday. It'll just be a bank holiday thing

Checked this morning just now after 9am
And nothing in my bank
Shall I say anything ?

This is lovely.

Yes of course you say something. Of course it’s not begging or asking for money as she chose to send it to you.

I would just message saying “Hi Auntie X - I’ve just checked my bank account and nothing has arrived. Just wanted to let you know. Thanks Niece Y

Why would you not say anything?

She told you she sent you money and you haven't received it!

Absolutely bizarre that you wouldn't tell her that the money hasn't come through so she can check with her bank.

Of course tell her, she may have sent it to a wrong account and can get it back!

I get that's it's awkward.

I would actually leave it another couple of hours because sometimes things don't go in right at the beginning of the day. If it's not there by 3pm, maybe say then. If she's on the US, she'll be asleep now anyway so no harm waiting.

Why wouldn’t you? Why are you making such heavy weather of this? If you’d transferred money to someone, wouldn’t you want to know if it didn’t arrive?

OP, @RRINMIM suggestion for what to text is spot on. Send something like that.

Please tell her, OP. I think if you don't it risks looking ungrateful eg she looks at her account and realises the money didn't come out but you never mentioned it maybe because it's such a small sum to you or you couldn't be bothered to check or you think she's a doddery old bird who can't be expected to do a transfer correctly.

Telling her doesn't look grabby at all- she's literally asked you to do it.