Dating advice please for someone who is anxiously attached / takes things personally….

[Lostindating2023]

Name change for this one….

So I went on a first date tonight. I thought it went well, chat flowed, we laughed etc.

Anyway when we were saying goodbye we hugged and he said “let’s keep in touch”. Wtf does that mean?! I then suggested doing something next week and out of nerves / anxiety (not alcohol) whether we would kiss, I can’t remember his reaction. And then he said “get home safe”.

I am now home and not heard anything from him.

“Let’s keep in touch” what does that mean??

Should I message saying I am home, had a good time, hope you got home too?

Thank you all for your replies. I just get so disappointed so easily but I definitely go into these dates with ridiculously high expectations. And take not wanting it to go further personally.

I am an anxious person. I take sertraline to help with this but I do get worked up easily.

Are there any good self help books or books about dating that would be a useful read for me?

I can’t think of any self help books for dating in particular. Tbh, I think self-help books are very subjective anyway, if there was a ‘gold standard’, there would only be one, not thousands (or even millions). It’s hard (for me) to prescribe an appropriate one. Maybe someone else may have some ideas?

Nevertheless, I would say it may be worth starting with yourself before exploring yourself in a romantic relationship/dating. Tara Brach has some amazing books, centred around self-compassionate. She also offers a free podcast. I personally have found her work very enriching and she has definitely been apart of my healing journey.

I hope you get some more recommendations x

So I decided to message asking how his weekend was going. He replied and said he didn’t feel a spark the other night. Fair enough, at least I know. Gotta start taking notice of men’s ACTIONS not words. I’ve just deleted the chat without reading it or replying. I’m bloody sick of dating, it’s hard work!

Please get some professional help. Dating can be fun and exciting, but you need some help to approach it with a balanced perspective.

@CultOfTheAirFryer yeah I think I need it

😢

I'm sorry this one didn't work out OP. I remember something someone said once which I thought was quite wise which might help for next time;

Going on a date is like playing your hand at a poker table. Nothing you can say after you have finished the date can impact whether the other person likes you or not; you have already played your hand, it's done. Just wait and don't stress.

FWIW, in my experience, when someone likes you it's typically quite clear quite quickly.