As a guest, what's the stingiest thing you've ever experienced?

[Marssuri]

Just that!
I'll start

I invited friends for dinner at mine. I made traditional dishes from where I'm from, sausage rougail, chicken cari and dessert.

A few days later they text me telling me to come to theirs for some food at dinner time.

I show up and bring a small jar of chilli peppers. One of the people who invited me goes "is that all you're going to eat?". I was confused and asked what they meant. They replied "It's everyone brings their own food."
I told them I thought they had invited me for dinner and they go "yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!".
They saw my face and said "don't worry, we can share some food with you!" before cutting a couple of raw carrots, aubergines, cherry tomatoes with some white sauce and putting them in the middle of the table.
They then served each other the meal they had made for themselves and digged in.

Note from MNHQ - we've had lots of nominations for this thread to be moved over to Mumsnet Classics and, as we're very generous hosts, we've done exactly this.

I had to ask - I’ve had someone turn up uninvited and unannounced around dinner time and inform me that her kids were starving 😂

Wow ! This is horrific! Ungrateful people!

Why on earth does these tight arsed invite guests if they don’t want to spend any money feeding them?

I honestly think that for some stinginess is such a way of life it becomes a bit competitive and addictive and infiltrates into everything they do, even things that are synonymous with generosity like hosting. I’m not talking about those who need to budget to make ends meet of course. In my experience and like so many others, the stingiest I know earn good money. I wonder why!

I wonder why they’re well off I mean.

Why do you and your husband let them get away with this? Pulling them up on this entitled behaviour may cause a sharp intake of breath and possibly bad feelings from them - but maybe it may also encourage better manners from them in the future? 🌹

Well I don't know. I'm not sure hosting guests should be transactional. While I do always bring a gift personally, Ive always thoight that to be a great guest the most important thing is that you should sing for your supper. It doesn't bother me in the least if guests arrive without a gift as long as they are fun and good company.

I volunteer to take my own nut roast! Otherwise I just end up with veg.

A few years ago, Christmas dinner was split like this:

DM - meat
DS - drinks
Me - veg, veggie main, sides etc

DM bought and roasted a decent (so I understand) piece of beef.
I took requests and made 14! dishes delivered them all to DM's hot and on time (my best project management to date).
DSis bought a bottle of wine knowing full well that no one else was drinking for various reasons, and declared that non-drinkers could have tap water.

So you were expecting them - with a newborn and other kids - to provide meals, tea etc for 4 adults + children, when they made clear they couldn't...?
And overstayed your welcome so late that it was dinner time?

Why wouldn't your mum make her own tea in her son's house? And surely if your dad wasn't happy with his sandwich he could have bring something else?

That is awful. Glad you went n/c. I hope your life is much happier than theirs every was.

I wasn't a guest, my MIL was the guest at ours. She offered to bring the Xmas ham, we said that would be great thanks. On the day she arrived with a side plate covered in tin foil.....

It was 5 slices of cooked Xmas ham. 1 for DH, 1 for me, 1 for her & 2 slices, 2 slices for her DH!!!!! I laughed initially then was fuming it was so measly!

We've been the ham providers in the past & always brought a whole one! should have known though she's always doing things like this. That was 7 years ago & she's not been invited back.

I went to a dinner party where the starter was one piece of pitta bread that was sliced into strips and shared between four of us….

As 12yo, I went to a friend’s house for a sleepover. It was in a fancy townhouse in a nice upper-middle class area. We weren’t fed and were given one of those holey crochet blankets to use as a duvet… to share between 3 of us… in winter.

I imagine this is what sleeping in a Victorian orphanage must have felt like.

My ex spent the day fitting a solid wooden worktop to a rich friends kitchen. I had to go to too! When it got late and we hadn’t eaten all day, she got out a camping hob and proceeded to cook their tea!!!!!! I’d stupidly presumed that we’d grab a takeaway and perhaps they would have paid for it as a thank you for the help!

I honestly do not believe 75% of this thread. I wouldn’t mind, but most of the made up stories are not even funny

@Pearlg sounds just like my MIL! She promises things then hopes we will forget! Said she’d make some sausage rolls to contribute to DD’s Christening buffet. She turned up with a pack of 6 from Tesco. We had 30 guests….

Honestly maybe you’re just very lucky to not know any very stingy people! Trust me there are lots of them about.

@ilovesushi what they wouldn’t even make you a drink??? FGS!! What is wrong with people?

I have noticed a similar pattern amongst the people I have known all my life.

The richest were the stingiest and resent having to share what they had, with only a few exceptions.

Those living paycheque to paycheque would share what they had and enjoy your company.

Did you miss the bit where they were stingy with GF food?

Normal nice people are tight. I know many of them, most of whom have been brought up with that ethos. I’m normal and nice and I’m also a single mother who is tight, I cringe at my reflex tightness when I recall it. Although never with guests, also reared to be a good host.

She doesn’t mean two whole potatoes. But nice competitive undereating.

Then they should have warned OP that there would only be GF options.

And not been stingy with it.

An event on a boat from 8pm to midnight? I would not expect that to be a dinner event, and would have eaten dinner beforehand. It was clearly a drinks party. Why did you think you would served be a meal?

In Northern Ireland which is usually renowned for generous hospitality i was served half an Aberdeen roll for breakfast usual Aberdonian portion would be two rolls each!!

My PILs are really lovely and generous in lots of ways but MIL is really odd about portion sizes. They eat barely anything and there’s never enough to go around if they have us over - like 2 small meatballs and some veg for dinner or 1 crumpet for breakfast. My H is a big man and eats loads so I don’t understand why they are like this. Not hard up either, it’s not a money thing.