Page 27 | As a guest, what's the stingiest thing you've ever experienced?

Marssuri · 2024-03-28T16:01:00+00:00

Just that! I'll start I invited friends for dinner at mine. I made traditional dishes from where I'm from, sausage rougail, chicken cari and dessert. A few days later they text me telling me to come to theirs for some food at dinner time. I show up and bring a small jar of chilli peppers. One of the people who invited me goes "is that all you're going to eat?". I was confused and asked what they meant. They replied "It's everyone brings their own food." I told them I thought they had invited me for dinner and they go "yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!". They saw my face and said "don't worry, we can share some food with you!" before cutting a couple of raw carrots, aubergines, cherry tomatoes with some white sauce and putting them in the middle of the table. They then served each other the meal they had made for themselves and digged in. *Note from MNHQ - we've had lots of nominations for this thread to be moved over to Mumsnet Classics and, as we're very generous hosts, we've done exactly this.*

NoodleDoodle24 · 29/03/2024 17:51

I was invited to my friends house to watch a football game. I don’t watch football but a few families were going. I asked if she needed anything, she said no and was putting on nibbles. this consisted of some nuts, crisps, bread and oil.

I took her a bottle of Prosecco that was about £15. We had a nice night, there wasn’t much to eat and we got pizza on the way home as the kids hadn’t eaten at all and we hadn’t eaten a lot.

The next day she formed a group chat saying it had cost her more than she expected and with it being close to payday she had decided it was £7 per head (not all who attended were in the group chat). She had clearly discussed it with one friend who was full of how great an idea it was. I was shocked and said to friend 1 I thought it was really bad manners. She sheepishly said she thought it was fine and I realised where her priorities lay.

I paid it and never went back! Made sure I have her the right money which I posted through the door. I have never charged people to come to my house and I’m still dumbfounded that a visit to my friends house cost me £30!! Really wanted to ask for the Prosecco back! It didn’t get opened and we didn’t drink!

ABwithAnItch · 29/03/2024 17:56

As an American I am finding these stories hilariously shocking. As you might imagine American culture is more more more and any hint of stinginess is regarded as a terrible personality trait. I have more stories of the opposite, friends and relatives giving over-generously to the point of embarrassment. I’m genuinely fascinated by these stories. I do wonder about the people who serve miniscule portions of food, is that just how much they eat?! Are these people very thin??

My only British stingy story is about a couple who we used to go out with in a group of couples before kids. They ate a lot and drank heavily. Because of that, everyone wanted to just pay their share (this was a semi-regular occurrence) and not split the bill, because their part was so huge. I can remember them arguing for an hour once that there was no way their bill was as high as that, and they weren’t paying etc etc until someone whipped out a calculator!!

InSpainTheRain · 29/03/2024 17:56

A family member needed help transporting a load of produce to market as his van was out of action. I said I'd help as I had a van that could take the load. My aunt (his wife) promised me a hearty breakfast when we got back from market. We started at 5am, we returned around 9:30am, I was gutted to find a slice of "Nimble" bread (low cal) and 1 small chipolatas in the frying pan for me. Stingiest breakfast ever!

Bearbookagainandagain · 29/03/2024 18:03

ViaMargutta · 28/03/2024 21:15

To be fair, if I invited someone for dinner and they showed up with a 'small jar of chili peppers', I'd think them very odd and stingy. Surely everyone knows to bring wine/chocolates/cake/flowers? But as the hosts in the OP's story were weirdos themselves, they can hardly complain.

Now my contribution. Not hosting, but fits. Went to a pub: ex and me, friend and her boyfriend and some couple they knew from uni. Ordered multiple beers, a large platter of snacks/tapas (not UK, so foodstuffs slightly different), etc. Sharing things. We're all big/equal drinkers and we all ate pretty similar-ish amount by the looks of it. No one ordered lobsters&champagne why others had salad&water is what I mean.

The bill came. BF and me and our friends just thought to split it 3 ways (3 couples). Then the guy from the third couple whipped out his phone and proceeded to add up the things him and his girlfriend ate EXACTLY. I mean, to the point of 'Anna had six onion rings, four and a third of beers, this and this tapas, etc.' - like that. And arrived to an exact amount to the pennies. So instead of paying, say, 40, he arrived at something like 36.28 and paid that exactly. I've never seen anything like it.

Needless to say, none of us went out with them again.

Surely everyone knows to bring wine/chocolates/cake/flowers?

and this is how I end with a cupboard full of cheap wine and chocolates from Tesco...

I would much rather a jar of - given OP's food choice for her guests - traditional chili pepper from her region/country.

toomanyy · 29/03/2024 18:04

DoorPath · 29/03/2024 06:50

Sorry, OP, you sound like a really stingy host. When you knew he was popping round, why didn't you have any nice snacks in - that's basic hospitality.

And when he stayed on, why didn't one of you just pop out to the local shop for some lunch bits? Really strange and rigid behaviour on your part.

Show quote history

You’ve missed a post, @overstream explained that the friend had visited the day before and went out with her DH and had a good catch, so he wasn’t expected as a visitor the next dat at all, except to drop off something at the door.

LilyofftheValley · 29/03/2024 18:05

Questions124 · 28/03/2024 23:57

I just remembered something when reading a similar post! My older sister had a baby and I went to see her, my BIL said when I got there “come with me as I need to go and get a few bits”. we went to Mothercare and he hinted he wanted me to buy the baby few bits n pieces (think baby monitor etc. so not cheap!) I pretended not to understand his hints. I was so angry for days after. They also think as we live in London we must be loaded.

Edited

I need to know what the hints were!

Movinghouseatlast · 29/03/2024 18:06

BreadInCaptivity · 28/03/2024 16:36

Slightly similar to the OP.

I enjoy cooking and we had hosted an old friend of DH's and his new wife that have recently moved near to us. 3 course meal - put a lot of effort in. DH bought in loads of nice expensive wine.

They arrived empty handed which should have been a sign....

They invited us to theirs about 6 weeks later and handed us a takeaway menu to order from and asked what drinks we would like as they would stop off at Asda on the way back from the takeaway as they had nothing in.

Okay - a bit odd but not everyone likes to cook.....but a bit annoying to have to wait for something to drink...

End of the night and we were asked to hand over £100 to pay for the food and drink...(no way did it cost that much).

No we didn't pay. We laughed and I gave them a rundown on how much hosting them had cost - significantly more than £100 btw.

Then walked out and blocked them.

You are a legend! Other people seem to tie themselves in knots over similar situations, you are so right you don't need people like that in your life.

pavedwithgoodintentions · 29/03/2024 18:09

We belong to a sports-type club. For potluck BBQs, the same family would, without fail, bring the cheapest, thinnest burger patties as their contribution to the BBQ, then get themselves to the front of the BBQ line to take others' much nicer meat contributions. Galling ... especially since they were all quite big eaters.

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 29/03/2024 18:09

Went on a corporate do on the party boat on the Thames. Just before it left we saw the CEO and her family get pizzas delivered to the boat. It did t click even then.

We were on that boat from 8-12 with no food. No one dared drink because no one had eaten.

It was miserable. We all went to the nearest pizza place as we got off!

RazzlePuff · 29/03/2024 18:11

A member of my book club would bring her own bottle of top shelf whiskey, pour her own drinks and then take the bottle home. Not sure if that is stingy, selfish or alcoholic…..

periodiclabel · 29/03/2024 18:15

It was a friend's 50th and he went with a group about eight for lunch in a very expensive hotel restaurant. At the end of the meal someone offered to pick up the £££ bill, made a big fuss about it, everyone todl him how generous he was. My friend was surprised but very touched. But then the chipper-inner took my birthday friend aside and asked if he'd pay him back in cash- he'd only paid because he was on a loyalty scheme with the hotel and would get tons of points.

Walkingwashingmachine · 29/03/2024 18:16

ABwithAnItch · 29/03/2024 17:56

As an American I am finding these stories hilariously shocking. As you might imagine American culture is more more more and any hint of stinginess is regarded as a terrible personality trait. I have more stories of the opposite, friends and relatives giving over-generously to the point of embarrassment. I’m genuinely fascinated by these stories. I do wonder about the people who serve miniscule portions of food, is that just how much they eat?! Are these people very thin??

My only British stingy story is about a couple who we used to go out with in a group of couples before kids. They ate a lot and drank heavily. Because of that, everyone wanted to just pay their share (this was a semi-regular occurrence) and not split the bill, because their part was so huge. I can remember them arguing for an hour once that there was no way their bill was as high as that, and they weren’t paying etc etc until someone whipped out a calculator!!

Edited

Don't worry. I'm quite sure if you asked the same question on an American mumsnet, you would have just as many stingy stories. Being stingy is not a national trait here in the UK as a general rule. That's why these stories are so entertaining to everyone.

SOxon · 29/03/2024 18:18

I have many many tales like these, but find them triggering,
particularly with exH and inlaws.
A few stick in my mind, I cannot forget, eg, driving from Fulham
to Southport for a week with inlaws, shudder
We had 2 little ones, 4 and 3 plus weeks old baby.
Long journey, stressful, took 8 hours,
children fractious, hot day, arrived at 5pm
I can still hear the sound of her ring hitting the side of the teapot, saying, it might still be warm enough for a cuppa, completely ignoring needs of her grandchildren

You couldn’t make us a fresh pot of tea? we have been sat on the MW in heat for hours!
There was no food on the go, she made us toast ; the noise of her scraping both burnt sides haunts me.

Of course, the one time they stayed with us, they ate home cooked proper food
as though their lives depended on it.

suburburban · 29/03/2024 18:20

80skid · 29/03/2024 17:50

A family member comes to my house extremely regularly with their kids at tea time. They know where DH's beer lives and are offered but will also help themselves. Their kids are fed. No return invitations ever and always arrive empty handed. One time they arrived with an extra adult without asking/informing ahead, who they offered DH's beer to without asking. No thanks or gratitude. On one occasion, they were coming when not expected and DH said he didn't have enough beer to offer them so could they bring some with them. They had the cash from DH to cover the cost.

Couldn't your dh had said no to giving them any cash especially as they were freeloading on you all the time

MaitreKarlsson · 29/03/2024 18:22

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 28/03/2024 16:45

Famous story about a theatrical boarding house:

At breakfast with the toast , there was a very small spoonful of honey on a plate in the middle for everyone to ‘share’ . One of the guests ( famous Scots comedian) looked at it and said ‘ I see you keep a Bee’.

DM often invited to babysit for DB & SIL necessitating her driving about 2 hrs. DM in her 70s. She drives down, stays the night and goes home after breakfast next morning.
Has arrived more than once to find absolutely no food bought for her dinner (kids having had tea) so now always brings a sandwich. 🙁

dylexicdementor11 · 29/03/2024 18:23

BlackScreen · 28/03/2024 16:17

In our culture its actually shameful to be stingy. If we have a bbq, each neighbour gets a plate ran over to their house. Even a quick visit, we'll feed people. My friend (not from my culture) used to sleepiver at my house alot and one morning I had an early shift so assumed she'd leave when she woke. I came home to her sitting on the sofa surrounded by plates of food that my parents had made. I used to have to ASK for a glass of tap water at her house, her and her siblings also used to physically fight over who drank a sip of whose coke in the fridge or who had a packet of their crisps. I never once ate at her house, she'd excuse herself if we were in her room to eat and come back up after...

where you in Sweden?

RazzlePuff · 29/03/2024 18:26

Invited to stay with FIL at rural location, arrived by plane & rented a car. I was with a 1yr old & 5 yr old.

SIL made big offer of asking what I needed so I wouldn’t need to go to grocery store & she brought box of food which included big tin of several years expired follow-on milk. Her kids were teens, so not sure origin of this powdered formula. Other “essentials” were expired, stale or half empty. She brought sticker books that were already used (by the boys who were now 18 & 19.) Who saves used sticker books? The stickers were already stuck in!!!!
Just couldn’t give my kids this expired powdered milk, that evening meal & breakfast were grim.
Went to grocery first thing in AM.
She kept talking about the follow-on milk and how she brought what I needed. Bragged about going into the loft to find the sticker books, aren’t they great??
Did I mention that they are affluent, new Audis every 2 years, horses, vacation home. Her sons were horrified about the sticker books, and apologized to me.
this woman is a mystery to me

Pickled21 · 29/03/2024 18:28

The first time my mil served up homemade fish and chips she gave me 6 chips (I did count). Dh was used to small portions and would just snack later so it wasn't as if she gave the men more. I asked if she'd ran out and then she asked whether I wanted more with a very shocked expression, my sil piped up at that point that she wanted more too. Since that incident she always cooks plenty and we serve ourselves. I know on mumsnet plenty of people would be absolutely happy with 6 chips but not me!

Allwelcone · 29/03/2024 18:32

My MIL made me bring my own nut roast to Christmas Dinner once. Maybe not so much stingy but anti-vegetarian I dk!

Anonymous2025 · 29/03/2024 18:33

WaitingforCheese · 28/03/2024 22:46

Another one which was weird instead of stingy.

Invited to a BBQ. I am not a fan, I’d mentioned it before, but she pushed as they’d bought meat from this specialised butcher’s.
Got there, BBQ on, they bring out the fancy stuff, but then cook really really crappy burgers and sausages. Now I don’t know if the nice stuff was meant to be seconds, but personally one burger, one sausage butty, especially horrible ones, I’m done. So they put it back in the fridge. I still hate BBQs.

British BBQ are the worst lol I was so shocked it’s always crap sausages and burgers . If I do a BBQ it includes several saladas , steak , prawns , pork kebabs etc

MyDearOliveDuck · 29/03/2024 18:34

I had a boyfriend once who invited me to tea at his house and said "bring your own bread". Once we went to a pub and I was hungry and asked him if I could have a packet of crisps and he sulked all evening because he said they were too expensive.

Workhardcryharder · 29/03/2024 18:35

toomanyy · 29/03/2024 13:17

If you were behaving like the people mentioned in this thread then I think some judgement is fair enough tbh.

Show quote history

Sure, but not rocking up to my friends with a bottle of wine when my grocery budget was 20£ a week couldn’t be helped. I shouldn’t be judged for that based on “etiquette”. I’d be horrified if a friend cancelled on my dinner invite because they couldn’t afford flowers ffs

Ilovecleaning · 29/03/2024 18:36

Hibernatalie · 28/03/2024 17:44

My jaw is on the floor with this thread!
More please

I know! Some of these are shocking.

Handyweatherstation · 29/03/2024 18:40

MyDearOliveDuck · 29/03/2024 18:34

I had a boyfriend once who invited me to tea at his house and said "bring your own bread". Once we went to a pub and I was hungry and asked him if I could have a packet of crisps and he sulked all evening because he said they were too expensive.

Expensive crisps reminds me of a bf I once had. We'd gone cycling in France and one night out at a restaurant I ordered peaches for desert. As I sat enjoying my peach he scowled at me and said 'You've just cost us a lot of money'. The tight git, that was the end of that relationship.

PrincessPeachy · 29/03/2024 18:41

Marssuri · 28/03/2024 17:05

That's really sweet! Yes here it is:

INGREDIENTS. FOR 8 TO 10 PEOPLE.

One fresh chicken. Whole or in pieces. 1 to 1.5 kg.
6 cloves of garlic.
3 medium onions. Approximately 150 g.
One or two tomatoes. Approximately 100 g.
A piece of ginger. Half an inch.
A sprig of thyme. About 2 teaspoons stripped.
1 level teaspoon of turmeric.
1/2 teaspoon of salt.
1/2 teaspoon of ground pepper.

PREPARATION.

First, cut the chicken into pieces (about 14 pieces).

Then, season the pieces with 2 or 3 pinches of salt and pepper and a few thyme leaves. Mix well and let it chill while preparing the spices.

Peel the garlic cloves and onions.

Dice the tomatoes.

Slice the onions.

Prepare the "crushed mixture": crush or blend the garlic with salt, pepper, stripped thyme, and a piece of ginger.

In a pot, heat a little oil over high heat, then add the chicken pieces and fry them well.

When the chicken pieces are golden brown, add the sliced onions and turmeric. Stir for a few seconds, then add the crushed mixture. Stir and fry the spices until they take on a beautiful golden color.

Then, add the crushed tomatoes. Stir and let them melt. The tomato juice will deglaze the meat and spices.

Cover with hot water and let simmer over low heat and covered until the sauce reduces. (leave a sauce base).

Show quote history

This is a classic MN recipe! A 1 to 1.5kg chicken serving 8 to 10 people, really?! DH and I are about to share a chicken that size tonight as part of our Indian meal with other dishes too! I hope you saved the bones for soup the next day too?

As a guest, what's the stingiest thing you've ever experienced?

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