Help needed planning our wedding!

[Namerchanger1]

Partner and I have been together for a while and got 2 DDs (2&4). We got together later in life so children were our priority and now we are planning our wedding. The thing is, i am not sure what kind of thing I want. He feels the same, we almost have too much choice.

we dont want a £30k barn wedding, so the options are:

1. legal bit at a register office for bridal party of 10 then to a local pub for a party for 100
2. Festival style party in our garden for 100 (do the legal bit first, small group)
3. or cut the numbers right down, do something a bit more luxurious for 50 or so, either home or abroad

we have £15k to spend, could push it up a bit but don’t want to go crazy.

we do want the party element, so not keen just to go to register office tomorrow and get it done. We have wills etc in place and equal money, savings and income. No worries there

what would you do? What’s been the best wedding you’ve been to?

Option 1, one of the best weddings I've been to was like that. Although there was maybe around 30 or so at the register office.

Option 2, or option 1 for weather security if you haven't got money for gazebos etc. I've been to quite a lot of weddings where they have the legal ceremony with family only and then a ceremony plus reception/party for everyone, and imo they are great. The ceremony becomes very personalised and there's no boring traipsing from one venue to another.

Id do everyone to the registry office then off to the pub. I feel short changed by weddings where i don't see the proper ceremony.

or... your local council should have a list of all the licensed venues in the area. That's how i found my wedding venue. There was a town hall in the next town over that did the whole thing for about £3.5k - ceremony (registrar cost about £600 extra), sit down meal for 70, buffet for 100, drinks package, tea and coffee, fully staffed, exclusive use. They even put my decorations (from ikea!) out. The food was incredible, the place was like a beautiful little medieval castle. All in all my wedding cost about £8k in total. I could have spent less on dress/suits etc. It was nice that the guests saw the whole thing and we didn't have to move to a different venue for the reception.

Interesting. I always think that as a guest you sort of have to sit through the ceremony (which can be a bit of a chore if it’s long!) to get to the reward of the party. The latter is definitely the better bit for me!

We will be asking people not to bring gifts as we really don’t need anything so no worries there

so that totals >£8500

so under £2.5k for
both rings
flower girl outfits
favppurs
decorations
2 nights hotel accommodation
DJ
wedding cake
and “simple food” for… 80 people

🤔

sorry that was to @EndoEnd

@trackertoo

Our rings we made, we went on a jewellery making course which cost £250 and we used gold that was donated to us from some family members who had pieces they didn't like or were broken, this all got melted down and used to sand cast our rings, think we had to buy an extra £20 worth of gold to ensure we had enough.

Flower girl outfits were £20 dresses and I made flower crowns, we had 5 of them, and we just told the parents we didn't care about shoes etc. that was £100.

Favours, I bought 30 tiny jars on eBay for like £30. Bulk bought some soy wax, hard to remember but may have cost about £15 and then mixed in some dried some rose petals (from MIL garden) I also bought some tags which were about £7 and hand wrote the guests names and drew some wild flowers on them.

Decs- I used ivy and ferns everywhere and lots of my MIL flowers, that was free. I may have spent around £50 on glass vases and £50-100 on candlestick and candle holders as I found loads in charity shops. And already had some at home that I used. I also bought the chiffon from an online store which was around £40 for all of the tables.

The 2 nights accommodation was included in the venue hire, I stated this in my post above, as the venue had a large home on the property that could accommodate 12 people and there was also camping for 100 people available.

DJ fee was included with my folk band; they were £600, but for an extra £100 they offered the DJ service until 12am.

Weddings's cake was made by my best friends mum, so luckily escaped that cost. But the quote I got for one was £275.

And the pasties in the evening were £400

We bought a new watch for my husband which was £275, and we also bought the best man's suit which was £200. My shoes were £20. My veil was £50. We had brooches that were about £50 altogether. I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff, but yes our whole wedding was £11k, £12k including our honeymoon. Which was £1k to stay in a treehouse for 3 days in Devon, since you're so concerned about specifics.

for 80 people who came to your evening do

you spent And the pasties in the evening were £400? and nothing else?

you are wearing a wedding ring that your husband made? had he ever made a ring before? a jeweller?! wow!! that’s impressive
would love a pic!

@trackertoo
Luckily down in Cornwall we're pretty happy with a pasty and a drink of an evening. Especially at weddings.
But no that wasn't all, you reminded me, I did I fact have marshmallows and biscuits and chocolate to make s'mores on the fire pit in the evening. Maybe £50-£100 at the very maximum. But most people were just happy with their pasty.

I’m a wedding planner and personally I would do 1 or 3. The thing to think about with option 2 is any additional infrastructure you might need if you’re doing it in a garden - do you really want all your guests using your loo (they block very easily with that number of people), where will any food be prepared (is your kitchen big enough? Is there enough electricity?), potential noise issues with neighbours, etc

Why don't you do a late afternoon ceremony (4pm) and then have one reception straight afterwards for everyone. This why you're not paying out twice for catering & everybody could attend the ceremony.

We had our wedding reception in the garden, it was years ago and even now, people still tell us it was the best wedding they've ever been to.

@trackertoo
No he hasn't made a ring before. We both went on a course to learn, it was a wedding ring making course and the jeweller was very hands on with helping us. We had to make sterling silver models of the rings we wanted; then used these to make impressions in the sand, melted the gold and then poured the gold into the casting box (with the impressions in) then voila a forged ring, just had to file them down and sand and polish them.
This was the photo of the rings and the sterling silver mock rings.

Option 1.
Make the union legal at the register office and have a marvellous party to celebrate it. It doesn't have to be a wedding with flowers, frocks and tiers of cake. It can be a brilliant and memorable party don't mention the wedding bit and avoid the mega price bump

just can’t quite get my head around inviting 80 to the evening do…. and giving them a pasty. just the one pasty. just a pasty. oh and if they wanted to roast a marshmallow.

i reckon there probably was a few mumsnet threads started from evening guests!

wow

you and your husband made those rings on a jewellery course! that is impressive

is it my imagination or are those very very large sized rings?!

We eloped and got married and had a party when we got back

We had a party for 80 people 7.30 ish to 11 and it was way too short

If I could do it again I'd still get married abroad and do a fancy sit down meal for close family at 4pm ish and then a party for a night at 7.30.

Yeah it's your imagination. What's your problem with that poster? Why are you nitpicking?

Making your own rings is a brilliant idea and she used gold from family members which to me makes it even more special.

Option 3

The best weddings I’ve been to were in a country house in the Uk where most guests stayed the weekend and a wedding in Portugal.

I would prefer to go to a nicer wedding as one of 50 than a pub where the budget was stressed for 100 people.

I agree with the other posters in that I’d like to watch the wedding ceremony.

I think the worst wedding I went to was a sit down buffet and tables were called up one by one. I was on the last table and all that was left were some samosas. Our table carried back our mega plates and had to walk past the other guests whose plates were heaving with all the good stuff.

So please don’t underestimate food or think that one drink and a couple of tiny nibbles will keep people entertained for 90 minutes while photos are being taken.

trackertoo·

Leave EndoEnd alone.

We got married after 25 years together and had a registry office ceremony and a meal in a pub for 40 friends and family then a party for 150+ at another pub for all our friends. Total cost was about £6000

So please don’t underestimate food or think that one drink and a couple of tiny nibbles will keep people entertained for 90 minutes while photos are being taken.

Christ absolutely not, that’s the stuff of wedding nightmares!