A reason why gender disappointment is so prevalent?

[GelatoPistacchio]

There was a recent thread about gender disappointment, particularly women finding out they are going to have a boy.

I've never understood it personally but then I saw this ad on Instagram. Mind blowing that as a society we are still having these stereotypes pushed on us. No wonder pregnant women worry about their connection with their little boys.

I wanted to know the sex of my baby early on because I knew I'd only have one child and I really really wanted a daughter, so I needed time to adjust if my only child was going to be a boy.

My DS talks to me several times a week. He's 41. If you make an effort when they are small to have a special relationship they will always be with you.

True, I’m female and I don’t call my mum very often either.

I think a lot of people visualise what having a child will be like long before having one, and that often means they’re one particular sex. In particular I think women visualise having a daughter (ie ‘just like them’) and dads a boy.

I don’t think I’ve noticed a particular disappointment when people have boys though. Always seemed pretty 50/50.

This! My son is only 7 but I want to be the best mum possible to him so he feels like he can come to me for anything! However I don’t want to be one of them mums who thinks no one is good enough for their little boy

Boys rock!

I work in ultrasound and gender disappointment is a mix bag. I’ve seen some absolute humdingers where mum or dad is unhappy with the sex of the baby - it really isn’t predominantly girls

Each child is a unique person, even if you end up with the gender you hoped for they might not enjoy the same things as you or want to do what you envisaged them doing.

One of our sons is very close and his family are inclusive. They will pop by to see if we want anything, take me out for coffee etc. He even joined a friend and I having a quite evening in the pub as a surprise.
Our other son only visits with the GCs for a fixed time, when it is arranged by him.
It’s just luck of the draw, you bring them up in the same way, but can’t predict the outcome.

I actually think part of it is that one possibility is closed off, if you see what I mean.

So you imagine lots of little versions of your baby, then you find out half of them won't exist.

So either way you feel a bit sad, regardless of what sex it actually is.

Make any sense?! Not sure it does!

Following this thread I suddenly remembered that when my step-mum was pregnant with my twin sisters the hospital wouldn't reveal the gender of the babies. They said it was because too many pregnancies were aborted when the parents discovered they were having a girl.

While not revealing the gender the hospital told my dad and step-mum that their twins were definitely NOT identical, so they assumed they'd be having a boy and a girl and chose names accordingly.

Turns out they were saying that because they were in separate amniotic sacs and they are both girls.

This was exactly it for me, I didn't think I had a preference but when I found out it was a boy, i was sad for a little while after. It wasn't that I didn't want the boy, but the little girl that had lived in my mind was gone