Do you feel you've fulfilled your potential??

[Yuja]

Just being nosy really. I was a smart kid at school, did an arts degree at a good uni then trained as a teacher and enjoyed this for a decade or so. Came out of teaching for various reasons and now work in quite an average job related to education but not teaching. Job is easy enough, wfh, get paid fairly decently (just under 40k) but have limited promotion prospects and isn't wildly challenging. Fits around my DC who are 11 and 9 so still need pick ups etc. I'm 38, feel like my career has stalled and I'm nowhere near my potential level.
Wondering how many of you feel like you've fulfilled your potential, or if you managed to fulfil it later when your DC were a bit older?
Don't get me wrong, im really happy with my life generally - happy DC, loving DH, live in a nice area but do feel like I've underachieved somewhat

No. I worked really hard to get a reasonable job and salary, but now am in a much lower paid job. What happened? Life. So many bereavements in the last 10 years, more than I can cope with. Family and friends, many before their time. Brother, parents, 3 close friends, Aunt, cousin, in laws - 5 of them under 45 years old. Too much.

Really sorry to hear this, when teaching isn't working out it's awful. I did get out but as you can see it hasn't helped me feel that my potential is being fulfilled

No. Very far from it, especially in career. But I've had a very interesting career that I adore. I love almost every working hour, love my clients, find it all rewarding. Happy marrriage, 2 DC doing well, big house in safe leafy area. So I've done okay but there were things everyone thought I'd succeed at, careerwise, which I haven't yet and that still nags at me.

At exactly your age I was feeling like I hadn't so I joined a mentoring scheme in my industry and that was the start of stepping things up. As you say, it got possible to do a lot more career-wise as kids got older (had them in early/mid 30s). Ten years on I've hustled like mad and worked my socks off and am feeling much more fulfilled although still lots to achieve. Feel like the timing works out well to step up in 40s and hopefully by 50s I'll be in that established zone with less to prove and can do more to bring others along, as well as still doing my own thing.

Obviously things differ depending on the industry and I've always had a creative drive to do a particular thing so not had to discover it or change paths particularly although there's always been new things to learn and new mountains to climb. But in general I think it can be a great time to find a new drive when the kids are in school and you start to put yourself first more. That feeling of giving less of a fuck about what others think can be a great thing in our forties for getting on career-wise and doubting ourselves less.

Career wise then no. I have huge imposter syndrome and have always doubted my abilities and held myself back.

Have recently turned 50 and for the first time in decades am doing a job that I find both challenging and satisfying. Money not as good as I would like, but I think it could springboard me onto other good things in time. Feeling very happy with where I am currently but it's taken a long time to get here.

Not yet. I will though. I was a very young mum so that was the focus of my late teens/20s. 34 now, DC almost an adult so I have time to focus on me and work.

I haven't fulfilled my potential work-wise. I've always been very academic, was always top of my class at school. Went to a top university. In my working life, I've always been noted as someone to watch, someone who excels and picks things up quickly.

But careers and money have never motivated me. I chose a degree that interested me, but didn't have huge direct earning potential. In work, I was always motivated more by having jobs that allowed me time to travel and not work long evenings and weekends. I never had any desire to climb a career ladder so my colleagues who are more dedicated to that have moved on more than me. I'm currently a SAHM and plan to go back to work in something that suits my work-life balance rather than having prestige or high income.

But I'm very happy in a way I wouldn't have been if I'd "fulfilled my potential" as my teachers would see it, which is what matters to me.

I'm a teacher . Hoping to leave nxt year at 55 and get a part time job . Professionally I feel I've reached my potential. Generally people from.my socio economic background did not become teachers. In my personal life, no i don't feel I've reached my potential

I’ve no idea what my potential might be/have been! I’ve had an interesting and varied career to date, with another 20+ years ahead (health willing) but I’ve never earned much. Only recently broke the £30k mark and I’m nearly 50. Can’t blame kids because I haven’t got any, I’ve just tended to work in low paying industries outside London. I am at the stage where I have to choose between staying at lower levels and earning less, or moving up into management with all the associated stress and people wrangling that entails.

I wish I could find a middle ground where I’m paid what I earn now in an interesting and challenging job but without people management. Currently working out how I might make that happen.

Yes and no. In some areas of my career, I have far exceeded it. In others, no. It was not because of my DC though.

In terms of career, yes. I'm head of dept for a tech co. I've had a good career, but it's stressy and I won't be sorry to retire (2 years).

The downside is I am single, never met a man who was willing to tolerate a wife with a big job and a child.

I have ds and am happy and financially secure.

Swings & roundabouts. Maybe we can't have everything after all.

Yes. I wouldn’t change a thing. I made a choice to do something very extreme at the start of my career and it gave me such fantastic start.

I've gone into a new sector in my mid 40s, suddenly paid well, love my job and using all the interesting but low paid job skills and experience I gained before this. Had a real low in my early 40s that I was stuck, underachieving and would just be drudging for another 20 years. Decided to take myself seriously and go for it - and it feels bloody brilliant.

I could definitely have a higher paid job with a bigger title and feel more secure as 'achieving' appropriately but this new role is meeting what I need from that.

What I'm now thinking about is looking at ways to get my creativity back and take myself seriously in that area because that is something I was not brave enough about when younger.

@Mazuslongtoenail and @JustJessi music to my ears. Thank you. Many others as well but you guys have expressed it so well.

In career terms I often think I have missed my potential and beat myself up about it. But approaching 50 now and I am only just starting to enjoy sport and there is a mountain if really enjoyable and rewarding volunteering that goes along with that, which involves being appreciated and encouraged! It's crazy.

So I think I will consciously coast, remind myself it's a scam and plough my potential into sport and volunteering, where it is enjoyable and appreciated, and I'm totally supported to get to the next level.

@Yuja

Thank you for your message.

I have always felt through life that I work really hard at everything, achieve it, and then feel dissatisfied, or like it’s just not enough and I have to chase the next thing. It does therefore concern me that even if I change careers as you have done, that I still won’t feel fulfilled.

I hadn’t realised how bad I am with the unfulfillment until my Husband pointed it out a few years ago, and it affects nearly every aspect of my life. I’ve just had a room decorated for example, and my initial reaction was that I loved it, but by the next day this had worn off, and I was analysing what needed to be improved; quickly ordering so many new and different items to add in there - all things that I love, but still I’m not satisfied with the room as a whole. I have always been like it with clothes too, even when I have carefully considered purchases and spent more money than usual on them, the novelty and satisfaction just disappears.

First half of my life- yes, superficially- I was a super-achiever. Now, 15 years before I should be retiring, I'm burned out and wish I could crawl into a hole and sleep for a decade (probably also thanks to being being peri).

I think I fitted too much in, too intensely, and now my engine is dead, in terms of academic and professional achievement.

I am happier, with a richer personal life though... and take more time to 'smell the roses'

Now I do. I was a gifted kids but floundered in later high school because id been too used to coasting. I coasted through my first degree too, and into a dream career that just wasn't in the slightest challenging or interesting.

So I sorted myself out and went back to uni for a different degree, came first in my graduating cohort, got a good job that challenges me every day and now I feel that yes, I'm living up to my potential.

Thank you this is great to read!