Would you stop working if you could afford it?

[Ibitebats]

I'm 48 and suddenly realise we're in a position that I do not need to work for the money. I could give up and there'd be no need to change our lifestyle, holidays etc. Pensions are good.

I do not enjoy my job. I'm an auditor - I get paid a reasonable amount for not much - frankly. And we now have to be in the office 4 days a week (I work 4 days so that means every day for me - it's not pro rata). The children are 10 and 8 so approaching secondary school. Dd2 likely to need more help than DD1 with homework etc.

I am really wrestling with whether to stop working. I sway between thinking it's good for the DDs to see me working and thinking how much easier our lives would be if I am around more to do everything. Plus being around in the school holidays.

Would you stay at home if you could?

No. Work is important for my mental wellbeing, for the structure and purpose that it gives me, for the social interaction that I get from it, and for the sense of achievement that I derive from it. It has never just been about the money for me, though I do value my financial independence.

If I didn't like my job, though, in your shoes, I would be looking to do something else instead. Paid or voluntary.

Definitely.

Hell yes. Well, no, not fully. I would go barmy. I couldn't be a SAHM. I need to work, and I need to use my brain.

In your situation, I would absolutely give up the day job though. I agree your lives would be better if you were around more, especially just being there as DC enter the tricky teenage years. There was a thread the other day that the teens open up most during the mum taxi rides.

I would try and find work for two days a week during school hours. Always worth keeping some income going, NI paid etc. One day for volunteering for an activity I already help out with, one day for chores and one day for me.

Go down to 2 days a week.

No. I had the option of being a SAHM without it affecting our quality of life and I decided I wanted to keep working. I needed to use my brain and spend some time with like minded people for my own sanity.

I did go part time though.

I wouldn’t stay in a job I dislike if I didn’t have to. Do something else.

Yes absolutely.
I work but it's basically job and finish. I can do my hours as and when i like. I can do it all in a few hours a week. I love not being tied to a job / office.
Go to everything school arranges, all plays, parents evenings, termly show and tell work etc without having to arrange time off.

Could you go part-time? If not and you're really tempted, you could do it with a view to working part-time somewhere else in the future. I have a friend who did this, left work as DH retired but two years later is doing a couple of different jobs, just a few hours each.

Forgot to say my friend was 60 when she went back to work, so she hasn't put employers off.

Yes I would. Am I missing something, why can't go go PT?

definitely. I’d either go VERY part time, or do voluntary work instead, or put a lot of time into the community. Working is a good example for children, but so is volunteering.

I would second the suggestion to reduce your days down further (to 2 days?) or find a similar job somewhere else where you can reduce days / wfh. I have had to stop working (for health reasons), but am hopeful that I will be able to start again at some point, but am now worried about my chances of getting a job (especially one that I am qualified for), due to my age (50s). I am finding it really useful to be able to support the kids at the moment (one at primary, one at secondary, one at uni), but am worried about economic activity in the long run. I definitely want to be doing something I enjoy, and think that a couple of days work doing something that I love would be the ideal.

I enjoy my job a lot but if I could afford to leave I would do it in an instant!
I like the rest of my life a lot better - work's just to pay for my real life.

Go for it OP!

I gave up work years ago and have never regretted it. It certainly makes life much easier for our family as I can handle everything in the home sphere and DH is free to work or travel for work as much as is needed, which is a lot at times. Some people really miss work though and/or aren't happy not working for a multitude of reasons inc. mental health, their sense of self worth, their desire to contribute financially, worries about personal financial security, etc, so I'd give all those things some consideration. But if you and your DP are happy for you to give up work and be the home parent from now on, I'd go for it. I know several people who managed to work either full or PT while their DC were young, but they quit around secondary school time and I don't know anyone who wishes they were still working!

I cannot go part time in my current job with current employer. It's 4 days minimum. They just refuse other requests for other patterns. And I'm not going to fight it - others have tried and it's miserable.

I know I could find something else but that'd probably be freelance. And I'm not good at freelance- I'd never stop.

I'd consider part time but also bear in mind that kids will likely get more expensive in their late teens especially, depending on how much you want to fund them eg cars, university so the income/savings will provide a buffer.

I'm of the mindset of work while you can then choose to finish if you need to - especially if you're on a cushy number.

You're lucky to have a choice.

I’d leave work. Possibly go down to 2 days if it was an option. But I’d rather volunteer - I want to put more time in to Scouts, volunteer at a local baby bank, and be a school governor. I don’t have time for any of that at the moment.

No, especially if it meant I expected someone else to earn all the family income, we also believe it sets a good example to our children to see us working.

We are both however hoping we can retire from our main careers in our early fifties, once our children are adults so we can enjoy retirement as much as possible.

I love my job, so I would go part-time, just to have a bit more free time, and I’d possibly look into doing a few hours a week volunteering.

If I didn’t enjoy my job, I’d do something I did enjoy instead if I didn’t need the pennies from the job I didn’t like!

I'm young, so no. But I have made plans in my head for if I win £150m on the lottery that involves at least a year out of work travelling the world 🤣

I’m 50 so yes, in a flash

That's interesting @LipstickLil I feel surrounded by Mums who are going back to work after taking the nursery and primary school years off. So I feel odd thinking about it for secondary. But something is telling me they need me around more - when homework ramps up etc. Both like to unburden themselves after the school day - I'd like that to continue.

As nice as it sounds, and as much as I moan about work, i think I'd still have to do something to keep myself sane, but probably something less demanding with no travel, and definitely part time.

Yes.

As long as you know if anything happened to DH or your marriage you'd be ok financially.

There's so many things to do so you're still busy. I could be doing something every day where I live. Plus live near the sea and beautiful woodland. I love walking. I only work part time.

Those that say they need to work to use their brain are talking tosh. I know plenty retired or unemployed who are highly intelligent and have plenty to do.