Just embarrassed myself in Tesco

[BlowDryRat]

I just had a very embarrassing conversation with a confused checkout man at Tesco. I saw "cystitis" flash up on the till as he was scanning things through and queried it because I don't have cystitis. We went through everything he'd scanned and through the display until I realised it was this plant 😳 Who names these things?!

Anyone else done something daft today and wants to make me feel better?

Hahaha I've seen these and had to do a double take 🤣

Years ago I trained as a hairdresser and needed a lot of friends to act as my models

I put a plea out on sm for 'models for a blow job' instead of 'models for a blow dry'

Went to bed,woke up the following morning to a lot of comments and messages

Walking around Tesco with my mum and we started to walk in different diurections to get food and snacks for family dinner and movie later that night. As she walked away I asked if she wanted pop corn.

"On yes!" she shouted back... "I LOVE cock porn".

If you use the self scan to buy 'Touch of Butter' spread from M&S it comes up with TOUCH BUTT

Gave me a good chuckle on my lunch break.

Ignore the misery guts on here. I thought it was funny and easy mistake to make

Ha ha, at a glance it does look like cystitis!
I'm embarrassed for both of you :-p
I've done worse with a bigger audience Xx

My friend used to work in Peter Mark and she says at least 10% of people ask for a cut and blow job 🙄

I was in a supermarket where an elderly Martin the queue got upset, she said she had lost her husband, the man on the checkout said Don't worry Madam we'll put a tannoy announcement out for him, she said "No, he's dead".

Elderly lady

There is no need for comments like that. When one is busy etc, it can be misread. Have you never misread anything?

OP, it happens, don't feel bad

🤣🤣🤣

There is a hairdresser near me with an enormous sign above the door saying 'THE BLOWOUT'. It always makes me do a double take.

I do this about 100 times a day- it’s like my brain just fills in all words with the ones it prefers. It happens with words in other languages too- I can’t just glance at something and think “that’s French”, or “that isn’t English”- nope, my brain just makes up some random words instead.

Well done you! There's nothing wrong with your eyesight! 🙄

Not me, but the cashier:

Went to the Co-Op today. In my basket was:

• 2x celery sticks
• 2x small Gourmet cat food boxes (£2 each)
• Tin of coconut milk
• selection box of 5 Cadbury's Creme Eggs
• small tub of fruit

Cashier rang it through and gaily told me it came to £35!!! I exclaimed aloud, thankfully, and she realised that I hadn't, also, bought £20 of alcohol. I almost just paid it though, so thank goodness I did question it, albeit indirectly.

A friend (fellow nurse) worked in a family planning clinic. She phoned up to reorder condoms. 100 boxes.

There was a silence on the other end and then a voice said slowly. 'I'm sorry but this is a builder's merchant'. Worse part was, as this was a regular order she hadn't identified herself as working in a FPC first.

You'll have to have a bit of a dark sense of humour to appreciate this one.

I was arguing with a bloke on Twitter about the need for rape crisis centres to be single sex. I was arguing that of course male rape victims needed to be able to access support, but that the support required might be different and it was better to support the two sexes separately rather than offer a combined service.

But what I actually said was:

"There's a big difference in the skills and knowledge needed to rape victims of each sex."

I was accidentally advocating that people need to learn how to commit rape properly. Fucking jesus.

I didn't realise at first. Went back to the thread later, realised my mistake and nearly died. Deleted my comment, never to return to the thread 🤦🏻‍♀️

I know someone who walked into a smart kilt shop in Scotland and asked for a scrotum instead of a sporrin.

LOL Fun fact: Cytisus is part of the same plant family as Clitoria, which is indeed named Clitoria because it’s flowers are shaped like vulva. Lucky you weren’t buying that in Tesco today 😂

Actually, Ocado do sell Clitoria tea under it’s more family friendly name of butterfly pea flower 😂 It’s blue but it turns pink if you add lemon juice because it’s a natural pH indicator.

The other week I asked the dude in Menkind if women were allowed to work there.

In my mind it sounded funny, as it came out of my own mouth I was cringing my arse to my elbow. Which got worse when he witheringly said "yes" to me.

Oh god.

I said good morning to a fellow dog walker during my evening walk!! He gave me a funny look and a smile 🤣

I would have also done the same.

I once turned up to pick up my click and collect order from Tesco. The assistant couldn't find me on the list. Turns out I'd ordered to a different shop 20 miles away (town I previously lived in) ☹️