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Original poster

Can I go to this concert?

32 replies

Historygirl91 · 25/03/2024 10:25

Hi all, looking for some perspectives here please. I’m due to attend a very exciting possibly one in a lifetime concert in June. This was booked when I was still pregnant, my DD will be 7 months old in June.

This concert involves an overnight stay in a nearby city, it isn’t realistic to travel home the same night as it’s a good 2 hours away.

I’m panicking about leaving DD and thinking that it’s really not feasible for me to attend.

She is EBF (at the time when I bought this ticket I was pregnant and wasn’t sure how I wanted to feed her) and despite our best efforts will not take milk from a bottle. As she’s now almost 5 months I’m trying to get her used to a sippy cup but she’s reluctant.
As I’m breastfeeding she is also only used to me settling her in the night. she is happy to go to others in the day time but due to ebf has not spent any time away from me, bar a couple of hours.

My DH says I should just go and enjoy myself and he’ll take care of everything. His view is that DD will take her milk via another form if she’s hungry, but I don’t think she will 🤣 he wants to give her formula but I’d rather not, but am now wondering if I’m being uptight to cut my nose off to spite my face.

I’m due to go with a friend, and have said that I’ll cover the cost of my ticket and hotel room if she wants to go with her partner instead, who is happy to attend if I can’t go.

She’s very understanding but I feel like a wet wipe and do genuinely want to go. what would you do?

OP posts:
DianaTaverner · 25/03/2024 10:29

If it's really once in a lifetime then I'd book a separate hotel room near the venue for you, DH and DD. She'll be fine for the length of the concert. You'll owe DH a big favour but I'm sure it'll all come out in the wash, there will be a time when he wants to bugger off on a stag night or whatever.

NerrSnerr · 25/03/2024 10:29

June is still a while away. Could you have a couple of evenings out in the coming months to see how they go?

If worried about coming back the next day could you just drive back? You'll be back in your own bed by 1.30am! (It's my favourite time to drive with with quiet roads)

pinkyredrose · 25/03/2024 10:31

Taylor Swift? Can your partner and baby be in another hotel room so that you can feed?

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FancyBiscuitsLevel · 25/03/2024 10:33

right - this stage is tough, but you can do it, and I think it would do you both the power of good to do this. So you have a couple of months, during which time she’s going to start solids, and not be exclusively breast fed anymore anyway.

I would say you are going and plan now, your DH does a bit more of settling at bedtime, possibly on weekends when it doesn’t matter as much if no one gets much sleep. You express milk to leave with DH, so she has that normality and you express before going to bed at the hotel to keep your supply as normal.

When you start weaning, make sure your DH, not just you give her solid foods, so she’s getting used to the idea that food doesn’t just come from mummy.

if it’s just one night and a breakfast feed she misses at most, she’ll be ok, you’ll be home by lunchtime.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 25/03/2024 10:34

I think you’d be surprised what your baby will accept when you’re not there. You’re leaving her with her father, not a random baby sitter or distant relative. She’s going to be fine and - more to the point - it will do you the world of good as well.

Hoplolly · 25/03/2024 10:45

At 7 months? She'll be weaning and likely taking less milk.

I also agree with @TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross - when mummy is not an option, she may accept the milk from a cup. It's a new skill to learn so you will have to persevere with the cup for a while.

Original poster
Historygirl91 · 25/03/2024 11:15

pinkyredrose · 25/03/2024 10:31

Taylor Swift? Can your partner and baby be in another hotel room so that you can feed?

Yes! I’ve had a look and the prices for hotel rooms have gone silly expensive.. I’m now thinking I’ll just chance driving back.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 25/03/2024 11:16

If it's Taylor Swift, then you need to go! Agree, absolute worst case, drive back after the concert.

SpringSprungALeak · 25/03/2024 11:24

Go

shell be 7 months, she'll be fine with Daddy. She'll take the expressed milk if she doesn't have any other option, or if she doesn't she can have a bit more baby food.

shes not going to starve, she's really not.

it might be a disturbed night for DH, but he's up for it, so just crack in.

it wont do her any long term harm at all.

Go with your friend, enjoy the concert & drinks after or whatever & a quiet night in a hotel!

parenting is for life, it's a bloody long time & sometimes you need to be YOU.

Original poster
Historygirl91 · 25/03/2024 11:44

Thanks everyone, I think I need to change my mindset of ‘oh I probably won’t be able to go’ to actually yes I’m going! I know she’ll be fine.. I just hate the thought of her crying for me ☹️ it is just one night though.
wish I’d had the foresight to book a second hotel room last year!

OP posts:
colouredball · 25/03/2024 11:48

Is Taylor Swift really a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity at this stage in her career?

Anyway I would absolutely go. Plan to go. Tell yourself you are going. Go. Your DD will be absolutely fine but you can help by making sure she is having extended periods without you in the run up, particularly when she is having solids so less need to BF

Lollzi86 · 27/03/2024 19:41

Depending on where it is you could look 15-20 mins drive outside for a hotel. I.e I managed to get a last min hotel room in Birkenhead when a massive artist was on in Liverpool. Wasn’t anywhere near expensive as being in Liverpool itself

Cheeesus · 27/03/2024 19:44

Can you wait till nearer the time to decide? Try and introduce a bottle in May and see how if goes?

seasaltbarbie · 27/03/2024 20:16

You’ll probably be surprised as she will more than likely be absolutely fine. Can dad maybe do a trial run of giving her milk in a cup or bottle while you hide somewhere or go out shopping or something? Remember at 7 months as well she will be eating so try and force the sippy cup as she will be drinking water anyway and she will get used to it.

ivedonejuryservice · 27/03/2024 20:32

Drive back!
I’ve done O2 London to Birmingham after a concert (via somewhere else!) took about 4 hours to get home, but at least I was home.
I had a 18 month old at the time. Wasn’t BF anymore - but was still relieved to be home!

seem to recall it was a Sunday night so my DH disappeared at 8am & we (I) had a slower start! …. Despite being awake!

SD1978 · 27/03/2024 20:36

Go and enjoy. Your baby has other options at at 7 months isn't going to starve. Your partner has said he'll deal with it- it kinda undermines him you trying to organise driving back because you don't think he can effectively parent his own kid for 1 night. Have a great night and stick with the original plans!!!

CuteCillian · 27/03/2024 20:42

Your LO will be absolutely fine and - it kinda undermines him, you trying to organise driving back because you don't think he can effectively parent his own kid for 1 night. I think this is a valid point.

IncognitoMam · 27/03/2024 20:44

I presume you're using the bottle teat for breastfed babies?
I left ds1 at 6 weeks to go for a night out and he took formula (the one from a carton) Can't believe I did it now. I wouldn't do it so early in hindsight. He did take it though.
Is DH trying to get baby to take milk when you're not around? Maybe drape a t shirt or top you've worn over the shoulder where baby's head will be? It'll take some perseverance but baby should get used to it.
Sounds like you have a very supportive DH. Lovely to hear.

MuggleMe · 27/03/2024 20:48

Things do change once you start weaning, DH can give other forms of food if baby won't take milk, and there's something about mum/milk machine not being around that means they'll be more willing to settle.

Verite1 · 27/03/2024 21:00

Has your DH tried giving her milk in a bottle when you are not there? Often they will settle easier and accept milk from alternative sources if baby knows you are not around.

Whatifthehokeycokey · 27/03/2024 21:03

Some babies who never took a bottle just go straight to taking milk from a sippy cup at six months. I have plenty of friends who's children were starting nursery at six months who had similar worries. She'll have started little bits of solids as well by then. She'll be fine.

Isittimeforbedyetsos · 27/03/2024 22:28

have you tried a dr brown bottle for the milk - rather than a sippy cup ? That could work x good luck

Doone22 · 28/03/2024 07:43

Historygirl91 · 25/03/2024 10:25

Hi all, looking for some perspectives here please. I’m due to attend a very exciting possibly one in a lifetime concert in June. This was booked when I was still pregnant, my DD will be 7 months old in June.

This concert involves an overnight stay in a nearby city, it isn’t realistic to travel home the same night as it’s a good 2 hours away.

I’m panicking about leaving DD and thinking that it’s really not feasible for me to attend.

She is EBF (at the time when I bought this ticket I was pregnant and wasn’t sure how I wanted to feed her) and despite our best efforts will not take milk from a bottle. As she’s now almost 5 months I’m trying to get her used to a sippy cup but she’s reluctant.
As I’m breastfeeding she is also only used to me settling her in the night. she is happy to go to others in the day time but due to ebf has not spent any time away from me, bar a couple of hours.

My DH says I should just go and enjoy myself and he’ll take care of everything. His view is that DD will take her milk via another form if she’s hungry, but I don’t think she will 🤣 he wants to give her formula but I’d rather not, but am now wondering if I’m being uptight to cut my nose off to spite my face.

I’m due to go with a friend, and have said that I’ll cover the cost of my ticket and hotel room if she wants to go with her partner instead, who is happy to attend if I can’t go.

She’s very understanding but I feel like a wet wipe and do genuinely want to go. what would you do?

Take partner and baby to hotel with you. Then you're only away for a couple of hours

GFBurger · 28/03/2024 10:28

I do hope you go! It will be amazing and you will have an uplifting re-energising break.

She will likely be weaning by then and relying so much less on you. And she will be fine.

I was looking after my niece from 6 months for weekends and she wouldn’t take a bottle from me overnight. Initially I panicked that she would somehow starve from missing one night feed but turns out she was absolutely fine snaffling some weetabix in the morning. She’d drink what she wanted on her own terms in the day and eat with her cousins.

WhatsWorkLifeBalance · 29/03/2024 08:53

Get yourself off you deserve a break, have the best time ❤️