How many days childcare will we need?

[Sparksi]

Trying to figure it all out! For personal reasons I’m not a fan of nurseries especially for young babies. Would consider a childminder that we trust.

Considering going back 3 days a week after maternity leave. DH also considering put a flexible working in for one weekday off.

That leaves two days left to cover.

My parents live nearby and have said they would collect from childcare at lunchtime or similar but wouldn’t want to commit to all day every day, which I understand totally and think they are really generous to even offer this.

I am considering just looking for two mornings a week of childcare or shorter days like 8-2, with the thinking there is either my parents, if they can’t do it, there’s a 50% chance DH will be off on that day anyway (shift worker with a rota). MIL also not too far away and would help in an emergency. Failing all of that I could book annual leave with enough advance notice or work from home into the evening after they’ve gone to bed.

Does this sound like it will work or am I out of touch at the moment and a bit naive? 😂

Based on experience of friends and colleagues, unless your parents have explicitly offered to cover two days a week, every week, do not rely on them. Plan for your child to be in childcare the two days you and DH are both working. If your parents can pick them up earlier then that’s a bonus but too often I’ve seen why seemed like a committed offer fall apart once baby is here and end up causing a total headache.

It would be too risky for me personally and would stress me out. I would book full days and use your parents for sick days/emergencies. Baby will be sick a lot at the beginning!

Childminders can only have 3 children under the age of 4 so you might struggle to get someone with them hours as they can't take another child on the same day. Might find have to pay all day. Might be better with a nursery.

Also my DC usually naps at 2pm. At my childminder lunch is between 12.00-12.30. He goes to sleep at 13.00 and sleeps until 14.30ish.

I don't think you'd have any CMs biting your arm off to cover 2 mornings a week either. Book the baby in for 2 full days, and use grandparents as extra childcare on an ad hoc basis.

@Dotdashdottinghell good point. OP in my area childminders get booked up early, so start visits soon. I booked mine 7 months before start date.

Best advice. Don't rely on grandparents to sort childcare.

Next see if child can do 8-2. It wouldn't have been possible at our nursery.

Get your DH to nail down his day off first though, he can put in a flexible working request but it’s not guaranteed. The company legally have to consider it but don’t necessarily have to agree if they have a good business reason to refuse, or they might say no to a specific day of the week. I agree with PP’s don’t use a parental offer of reluctant / emergency help to cover week to week routines. Save it for when baby is too unwell to go to whatever childcare you end up using ( they will get unwell) so you are not scrabbling to take a wile day off at short notice.

Nah, this is insane.

We managed to not send DS to childcare until he was 13 months old, but it was hard work and both DH and I are self employed. You need stability. You’ll struggle to find a nursery that’ll offer 8 - 2 - you’ll have to pay for all day, as they won’t be able to get someone in after that, you can’t claim a part session. Our morning session is 7:30 - 12. Childminders wouldn’t be biting your hand off, either.

It sounds like your parents are happy to help on an ad-hoc basis, but not for full days or regular childcare; and I’d listen to them there. Nobody I know has stuck with the “parents as childcare” arrangement, it’s unbelievably stressful.

If you’re going back 3 days; and DH gets one day extra at home, you need two days childcare. I’d go for a nursery then. Good ones are great for babies/toddlers, and two days is the minimum I’d do, to give them the best chance of settling and making friends. People did tell me this but I thought mornings would be an easier entry… we did that for two months; then went to full days. It didn’t go well. He was never quite settled enough doing just mornings, and the transition to full days was hard, as he’d learned that he’d be picked up after lunch and expected that. We also had to wake him from his nap every day, which was annoying.

In theory it fine. If you want those hours though be aware that you might get charged full day as a childminder is unlikely to find a child that wants 2-close. If they can't get that, then your child's half day space would affectively block the childminder from getting a full day child, so they would need to get a full day payment from you. That being said, is there any way you could consider 9-2? Often childminders get some of their income from doing before and after school care for some children along side the little ones, so if you could manage 9-2 your child might work in with a school runs child to make up a full day child, if that makes sense. Wouldn't work 8-2 as it would take the childminder over their limit before morning school run.

My mum was looking after dc, the first time I was at university and she would refuse to have him as she's be in a mood e.g. over the fact it was raining. We said we wouldn't use her for dc2, but she begged and pleaded we gave in and had the same issues. My in-laws had to frequently step in even though they had dc2 the other days of the week.

If you can afford it, use a nursery or child minder but you'd be looking at full days.