What do your weekends with a 5/6 year old look like?

[Whatsgoingonwithmyhead]

DD 5.5 reluctant to do anything & has a meltdown if we say we’re going out.

(When we say we’re going out that would be to National Trust place with a playground or doing a child-friendly activity- we don’t expect her to do child-unfriendly stuff apart from when unavoidable)

Is this normal??? It’s ruining our weekends. We live in a small flat (in the process of moving somewhere bigger with garden) so DH and I are reluctant to spend too much weekend time at home, although we recognise DD has been at school in the week so does need some down time at home at weekends.

But it’s got to the point weekends are unpleasant as we can’t do anything without multiple meltdowns. Although she enjoys herself when we get there 95% of the time

Is this normal???

We tend to do one day at home relaxing and one day out exploring. We make 5 year old part of them planning, and get them to look through Google results of castles, country parks, adventure playgrounds etc in the area to choose. We talk about it through the week and always explain what's going to happen eg; "on Sunday we are going to have breakfast, get dressed and go to be explorers in the woods and afterwards we'll have lunch in the cafe"

I find that if they know exactly what's going to happen next, the transition is easier. When he started school, I made a little visual calendar to help with the new routine and stuck it on the wall and we'd check it each night to see what would happen the next day- that might help if you have different categories, like rest days, shopping days, adventure days etc

Thanks @judy I definitely need to get more organised. I think we often unintentionally spring things on DD too much by surprise

DH is totally disorganised which doesn’t help

My 5 year old is exhausted by school and likes to chill at weekends, especially as he also has to do after school club in the week, but we usually do what the above poster does, and have one day at home and one day out and about.

Going forwards you will need a child that happily shops with you. 5 can be a difficult age especially if school exhausts them. Hope things improve for you

In reception and year 1 my DD was really exhausted and stressed out by school. She did like it but was very very tired and we had to follow a low demand routine.

Now in year 2 she has a lot more energy and does loads at the weekend.

Do school say all is well? If so, maybe just wait it out?

Saturday - lie in, bit of TV then swimming lessons at 11am. Lunch out somewhere, then either park or play at home. Very occasionally, like once a month, we go somewhere in central London, like visiting a museum or going for a walk.

Sunday - up at 8 to get to rugby by 9:30. Then either play in the park or straight home to play. Lunch usually at home. Homework late afternoon before teatime.

We get out shopping delivered so don’t have that to do, and we do our house chores while DS is playing at home. He’s out doing hobbies a lot during the week, so it’s good for him to have some downtime at home at the weekends.

This is reassuring to read - by the end of term, we seem to spend about half the weekend at home playing/ reading/ resting/ watching a film etc. I would rather be out more but the DCs (5 and 3) want time at home.
Do you think it could be an issue with the transition OP? Mine get stressed out if I am running around like a headless chicken trying to get them out. I wonder if you could pack your bags (if you need to take one) the evening before and tell her then what is planned (or that may be worse?). Could you get in a gentle rhythm which is quite predictable, then branch out from there? Say after breakfast on Saturday get in a routine of going to the library. Then build on a cafe afterwards etc

5 year old and also do one day out and one at home.
we also talk about it through the week what we are going to do as be doesn't cope well with things being sprung on him.

I think one thing that makes it very hard is that DD wants to play at home, but is incapable of entertaining herself so it’s very draining for me and DH. So no she won’t just play while we do jobs

We don’t often have a full day out at the weekend
my 6 year old likes time to play at home so we tend to go out for a few hours either morning or afternoon at least one day. We are lucky as we don’t have to travel far to do things. and tiredness is a problem still.
We tend to discuss what we are doing in the holidays so they know what to expect.

Mine is a bit younger (starts reception in September) but is absolutely exhausted by the end of the pre school week (and only does 4 days, not 5). We’ve given up planning big days out currently. He’s a lot happier and more regulated staying local, eg swimming or play date at soft play or local park/miniature train. We tend to go out on a Saturday if he doesn’t have a birthday party to go to. We’ll do one of the above activities possibly combined with supermarket shop and lunch out. He has a sports club on Sunday morning then we spend the rest of the day at home. He can’t do much more than this currently without becoming a bit of a nightmare.

Mine is like this. DH and I tag team playing with him while the other maybe goes for a walk with the baby or gets on with some jobs. It’s hard. I just have to keep telling myself that it’s what he needs to relax and it’s his way of reconnecting with DH and I after a relatively long week of separation, even if it isn’t what DH or I would chose to do at all!

I have a 5 year old and the key for me is having things booked in. For us every weekend is pretty much the same... gymnastics lesson Saturday morning then out for some lunch and to a park etc. Then Sunday is swimming and then dinner with family. We do mix it up by visiting other places maybe once or twice a month but generally the routine is the same. Children thrive off a routine.

DS5 is very similar so we also do one day in one day out doing kids based activities. He seems to enjoy it when he's out, but getting out can still be a bit of chore. It reassuring to read he's not the only one.

For us it does vary and school hols are different again but in term-time atm it is roughly like this usually with my 5yo:

Saturday - Lay in cos she's knackered from a week at school. Breakfast. Play at home with 2yo sibling, maybe watch some telly. Have lunch. Then DH takes 5yo to her swimming lesson after lunch. We usually go somewhere later that PM once she's back, could be park/visiting DGPs/visiting cousins/library/shops or occasionally having a friend over for a playdate.

Sunday - Usually wakes earlier, breakfast, short time playing with 2yo sibling then DH takes 5yo to performing arts class. Comes back at midday, we have lunch together. Plays alone or with me or DH whilst 2yo naps. Then we might pop out as above late PM. Or occasionally me and 2yo come into town too when 5yo goes to performing arts class, maybe once a month or so, then we will go shops and/or museums and whatnot in town. Or we might just stay home and the kids will watch telly and play together, especially if we had a busy Saturday.

In general we don't plan a lot in advance and even when we do I actually try not to speak to DC about it in advance. This is because if something has to change due to e.g. illness or whatever, she gets super super upset. Whereas she is just surprised and happy if I go right get your shoes on we are going to x place now.

My 6yo hates going out in the morning. She's thawed by the afternoon but when she was younger she was more up for full days out.

She likes to be told the night before what the plan is, and with enough prep is ok for bigger trips.

We tend to either be out one day then at home the next, or we do two shorter things e.g pop out in the mornings somewhere at the weekend then chill at home in the afternoons. Basically we try to make sure we are home for half the weekend and get some downtime.

E.g. yesterday DDs watched a film in the morning, then we went out for a walk and a picnic and were home by 2pm. Today we had a morning doing homework and in the garden then popped out to the park for an hour or so in the afternoon. Home for dinner, baths and watching some TV. That's pretty standard for a weekend at the moment.

We have DD10 and DS5.5.

On Saturday they have swimming lessons first thing, then we come home and they both have a bath. That takes us up to lunchtime! Sometimes we go out after that but it's only ever to the park, maybe the shops. Very occasionally we'll go to the garden centre to mooch about, especially the one that has fish.

Sunday is the only day we can take our time in the morning, so we usually lounge about in PJs for a bit, then we get dressed and do some more lounging! If we've been out on the Saturday we usually stay in on the Sunday, and vice versa. There's usually some homework to do as well. We have dinner on the sofa and watch a film together on a Sunday evening, which is lovely.

Depends on the weather as well, when it's nice we go to the field and play with the frisbee, football, tennis racquets etc. When it's raining/freezing we stay in and play board games, video games, do crafts, etc. Mine are still happy to play together most of the time, so they do that for a bit. We've got a garden and a trampoline so now the weather is better they're out there a lot.

I have kids aged 12, 7 and 4 (starting school this August). They do seem to get very tired the first year of primary school. We are quite busy in the week and tend to be quite relaxed at the weekend especially nearer the end of term. Normally we will have an afternoon park, trip beach trip or walk. We often go swimming to and sometimes to soft play or the trampoline park. I tend to let the kids know in advance what we are doing but guage it based on how busy a week we have had. We normally do a family film on a Friday night with snacks etc. Kids need down time to maybe it might be better to arrange shorter trips or playdates instead? Like another poster said I give warnings, visuals, timings etc as it helps manage the change (one of my children struggles a lot with change).

Saturday: Awake at 5.45am. Breakfast. By 8.30am hungry again so I took her out for breakfast at a cafe. Then home and she played for a few hours independently. We had some lunch and went to a school friend's birthday party from 2-4pm. Walked home and then had some tea. I got in the bath with her and we had a play. In bed for 6.45pm.

Sunday: Awake early again. Made breakfast then she played while I did household chores. I played a game with her when I'd finished. Had lunch and then drove to meet a friend and her two kids for a walk at a reservoir. Home for 4pm and then we went out with Daddy for spaghetti tea at local Italian. She drew pictures. Played some more at home and then bed at 6.45pm.

Usually try and get in a good mixture of free time to just play at home with a few outings, and ideally a few meals out so I don't feel chained to kitchen all weekend.

Just wondering from what you say if this could be a currently not completely met need for either your/ her dads 1 on 1 attention or for play on your daughters part: going out might mean the focus is elsewhere and not on that connection/ opportunity for free play?
Could you try routinely and reliably filling her cup full of time with you and/ or time to play on Saturday mornings and then see if she is more flexible afterwards? Not all morning - but if she knew she would have an hour of your undivided attention to play and then an hour of DHs? The book 15 minute parenting is good on ways to make the most of time connecting. May make the weekend easier overall.

@Lostthetastefordahlias you might be right. I just always feel like I’m spinning so many plates. It’s hard when DD wants me to pretend to be a baby/fairy/whatever and there’s a stack of house work and life admin and work to be done …..

DD has performing arts on a Saturday morning, then we usually go to the library and home for lunch. Saturday afternoons there’s often a party but if not we just chill at home, sometimes go round to my mums for tea. Sundays are the only days we don’t have to be anywhere in the morning so usually take it slow + sometimes let DD have breakfast in bed with her iPad, then maybe put to the park or swimming or to an English heritage place. Once a month we have children’s church in the afternoon.

Do any of you get resistance about doing this stuff though?

In our house things like Daddy trying to take DD to shop to buy me a Mother’s Day gift / saying shall we go to the playground leads to a meltdown

We tend to do one day out and one day at home like others, although we always get out for a playground trip or something to run off steam. We each get a lie-in at the weekend unless we have a big thing planned, so the days get broken up naturally. I definitely do try to tell him in advance what we're doing, I always have as it seems to gain better behaviour and acceptance.

I have to say though, taking my five year old to shops is fairly hideous. He's generally quite well behaved but demons seem to take him over in big shops. He reverts to toddlerhood and rolls around on the floor 🙄 So I tend to leave him with DP and go out on my own, much more pleasant all round.

This past weekend was fairly typical:

Saturday - DP's lie in. Chilled morning, went to library and lego club at 10am, quick playground run around then home for lunch. I popped into town in the afternoon, they stayed in and played board games and watched TV.

Sunday - my lie-in/garden time. DC played with his multitude of toys while DP did housework etc. We met friends for lunch then took all the children to a big playground. Home for tea.

He does play fairly independently, though he needs a bit of input at first. I tend to say I'll play for 10 minutes and then I need to do X, so he knows he has my attention for a short while and then I'll be busy.