Sorry, please don’t read if the topic affects you as I don’t want to cause upset.
I’m not quite sure what I am hoping for writing this down but I think I just need to get it off my chest because I feel so bloody sad right now.
DP tried to end his life last night but thankfully panicked and admitted himself to A&E. We don’t live together so I only found out after he got admitted which was a big shock.
I feel so many things right now, but mainly sadness. Sadness that he felt he couldn’t tell me, or anyone else, and how bad be really was. And I feel hurt and ashamed as well. Looking back I probably should have picked up on some very strange behaviours but I didn’t cop on.
I love this man with all my heart, and I know that he loves me too, but now I can’t believe how much he kept from me (and everyone else), and how little I noticed. He bloody notices everything about me and others, and none of us seem to have noticed a thing. And now I know, and I feel sad and alone with this knowledge. I have notified his best friend but nobody else. Part of me is also so angry and really wants to tell his family but I won’t be doing that.
I know that I just spent a whole post just talking about myself which will make me look incredibly self centred, but I just needed to get it off my chest.