Why do some people feel more tired than others?

[MinorSammy]

Medical conditions aside, what affects how tired people feel?

I've never felt tired really in my life and I want to know why because I'm nosy and it's interesting. Three kids, terrible sleepers, up all night for years. Hardly slept in late pregnancy either due to discomfort. Was really anaemic with my second and third. But never ever feel tired.

I sleep around 8 hours a night if left to my own devices without screaming children. I fall asleep easily. I generally have very stable hormones I think, or at least I don't get mood changes through the month or during pregnancy. I can drink all the coffee I want, or none at all, and it makes no difference.

Why are some people like me, is it all governed by hormones? Is it genetic? It can't just be good habits/lifestyle because lots of people have those and still struggle if they get no sleep. My brother does healthy habits but still gets tired like a normal person I will say.

It's not short sleeper syndrome because I sleep 8 hours a night ideally, which is too long for this condition.

Anyone else like this? I'd love to hear theories on why you think you might be like this!

This. It's not a difficult question.

Because people are different! Just the way some are morning people, some are introverts, some are good at sport!
My son is super high energy. Even as a baby he was full on or asleep. Rarely made it to 6am. He's now 20, goes to the gym before work, works a full day, then has a second job at the gym so is works another four hours there, three times sweet and half a day on one of his days off. When not at his second job he goes kick boxing.
My DD is the opposite. Needs a good ten hours sleep and finds dealing with people exhausting. She still does loads of things, but not of a physical nature (last week she went to her college as usual, and afterwards went to: a lecture on art at the Courtauld, a concert at the National gallery, an exhibit an another...). She'll then not get out of her jammies all weekend.
So people are different, and thank goodness for that!

I'm very sorry for the tired people 😞 It wasn't my intention to make anyone feel worse. If it helps, I definitely have issues in other areas, nobody is lucky with everything!

@Strawberryicecreamz that's interesting, so you are never tired but you are stressed? So maybe stress is irrelevant too 🤷

@Yearendjoy interesting! I am also never ill. Maybe it's related to gut bacteria or something!

@DrCoconut I don't get good sleep at all, that's my point. I said I got 8 hours pre-kids 😆 The last few years I'm up multiple times every night without respite.

I don't think it is just diet, stress, lifestyle etc though, because you get many people who do everything right but who couldn't manage on five broken hours a night for years and feel really energetic.

@mondaytosunday I get that it's because people are different. But usually there's a reason. Is there a good sleep gene? Ot is it gut health? How your body deals with cortisol? Etc...

I was going to reply that some people are just more naturally low energy than others (I have a friend a couple of years older than me, now mid-50s, who used to exclaim at ‘how busy’ my average week was, when we worked in the same job, because I might go out a couple of nights, host a play date for my young DS’s friends if I finished early, go for a hike or a swim after work, see friends for brunch at the weekend, go to the farmers’ market, library, take DS swimming or to the coast etc — to me normal, to him stress-inducing ly frantic).

But what you say about not getting stressed or adrenaline rushes suggests you’re wired a particular way neurologically — I think you’re called ‘low arousal’ types, because your amygdala responds less than most people’s if you are shown images most people would find intensely stressful, frightening, or disgusting during a brain MRI.

For some people there’s a correlation with seeking out high-sensation thrills — this is an article about Alex ‘Free Solo’ Hornold, the climber’s brain make-up:

https://nautil.us/the-strange-brain-of-the-worlds-greatest-solo-climber-236051/

Not sure. I was very energetic, needed 6hrs sleep and could function well even after a missed night of sleep, or a few nights of half of that.

Then I was ill. I never fully got my energy back. I can sleep for more than twenty hours if undisturbed. I'm tired nearly all the time, although I function better than lots of people after disturbed sleep because I'm so used to feeling tired.

No idea why!

I've been perpetually tired for probably 20 years now. I once fell asleep standing up, leaning on the back of a chair at a children's birthday party.

I dream too much, wake too often, have an annoying cat who wants to play at 4.30am. Never feel rested after a night's sleep.

I am exhausted all the time. Its a bit of a running joke amongst my mates that I can literally fall asleep anywhere at any time, given the opportunity. Multiple trips to the GP all confirm i have the "healthiest set of bloods ever seen".

I sleep like the dead but i resonate with what a PP said- I definitely have undiagnosed ADHD (my son is diagnosed) and find alot of things day-to-day completely overwhelming. I'm sure so much of my energy goes into managing those things and that's why I'm bloody knackered all the time! I take all sorts of multi-vits and they rarely make it better.
Both my son and my daughter are also tired. I'm trying very hard to make our home environment less busy as we all just need to decompress so much.

I am a bit like you OP and I also never get sick or even colds.I think it’s
just luck and genes as my parents are the same. I exercise and am fairly active, but plenty of people do are still get tired and sick….

Yes these things certainly affect us but I don't think it's the full story. I've never been a high energy person, even as a child, I hated PE, I'd rather curl up and read a book. Even after a full night's decent sleep, there's not a moment of the day where I wouldn't be able to nap if I lay down.

I'm a bit like OP. I realise I am very very fortunate to have plenty of energy at my age and stage in life as I am approaching 67 YIKES, where does the time go!

I live alone now, and have just done all the (not that much needed really) housework, washing, shopping. Had a bit of lunch and then moved a chest of drawers and a tallboy from one bedroom to another on my own. Having a cup of tea now, and will weed the garden shortly.

THEN I'll sit down and vegetate. I don't know what the secret is, but I do take plenty of exercise every day, just a 4 or 5 k walk around the place, eat well, am average weight, don't drink or smoke, and I came through a life threatening illness during the lockdown which knocked me out for months. I take a multivit every day too.

I suppose I am content in myself, have no money or family worries, or indeed health worries (touch wood), and I think that helps with mood, which helps with other things too.

I think there are definitely controllable factors that make people more tired, but I think it’s foolish to disregard the likelihood that there are reasons beyond our control which make some people at higher energy than others.

Yes, this.

I'm tired because I don't get enough sleep. When I work a Beavers sleep over and I get six hours of broken sleep on a cold floor, I expect to feel tired because my body hasn't had enough down time.

I'll be in bed 2 am tonight, up by 8, work til 8, in bed at 2 and up by 8 and work til 3 then two hours commute home.
Sunday I'll be knackered because I've been on my feet all weekend, stayed up late, got up early and probably not had enough water (too much wine). I should feel tired because I'm not giving my body enough rest.

Not being tired would be.... unusual

Thing is I also do plenty of exercise, eat well, take multivitamins and have no money or health concerns but I am still bloody tired all the time, and I'm only 33!

Exercise boosts my energy briefly and I'm okay when up and about, but I'm about to do the school run and my eyes are burning with tiredness. I'll feel better once I'm out and about but it is a big factor in my life unfortunately and there doesn't seem to be a magic way to fix it.

I am going to presume that those of you who are permanently tired have had iron and ferritin levels checked? Even if you have, the NHS "normal" levels (at the lower end) are often not normal for YOU at all, and that could be a factor. I know it was with me when I was ill back in 2020.

I had blood transfusions and iron infusions, and I opened up like a flower after them. Never looked back. The anaemia was caused by an internal bleed, but I'm guessing that many of you who are menstruating could have lower levels than the NHS says is ok. Just saying.

I think it's probably hormone and nutrients in many cases. I had my last baby at 42 and can never relate to comments about older mums being tired - it hasn't been an issue at all for me. Generally I don't sleep until 2am and I was always used to being up late, so having a newborn and bad sleepers wasn't much of an issue for me. I have an underactive thyroid but it is all normal with daily hormones so no issues there.

What is a bigger question for me is why people go on to have more than 1 dc if they do get exhausted, and then complain about feeling tired all the time.

I'm anemic. I've had blood transfusions and iron transfusions. The iron lasts a few months before my levels taper off again. But even when my iron levels are above the line I don't feel very energised. I'm due an op in a month so I need to have another infusion in the next few weeks to give me a boost to get through. I have low BP too so that also doesn't help!

There are things that drain energy - talking, laughing, crying, sex, overthinking, eating food that is overcooked, reheated or stale. Energy boosters are: eating fresh raw fruit, raw or lightly cooked veg, thinking happy thoughts, engaging in things willingly

I'm 42 as well. I have teenagers. I have to say if I went to bed at 2am, I'd be like the walking dead the next day.

It's not that people are tired while the adrenaline is pumping, it's just that it takes it out of you. You have energy during the stress, but you plummet once things are calmer.

Some people survive on so little sleep. I go to bed at 10pm to try and get a few hours in before I wake up at midnight, 2, 3.30, 5 and then get woken by the alarm at 6.30....

I'm shattered.

Maybe I should try going to bed later....

I admire people with energy!

Some things I can think of.

1. how well you sleep, I don't sleep that well, wake up in the night etc., can't sleep in new places, on buses, etc., can't deal with working even slightly different hours (eg an 8am start rather than a 9 am one will give me problems all week)
2. diet/nutrition, sugar highs and low etc.
3. age - this is a big one, but I think sometimes we put our increasing tiredness down to age when it's actually something else,
4. how tiring your routine/job is, this doesn't just mean having a 'hard' job physically or intellectually, but also things like being outside of your comfort zone eg being shy and having to talk to people, it means you're making more effort than someone not shy
5. physical 'deformities' - I'm short sighted and have one leg longer than the other, I get hip pain if I walk a lot and my eyes always hurt by the evening
6. boredom - maybe some of what we think of as tiredness is probably just boredom, back to no. 3 on age, I was talking to someone 20 years older than me who was helping at the theatre every day after work, I remarked that I could never do it, but she said it 'refreshed' her and it occurred to me that I'm not tired after work, just bored to a zombie-like state

Surely it's just a perception and what does "tired" mean.
Very subjective.
I am occasionally tired...and I accept that . If I'm very busy, stressed, got a lot going on , I expect to feel tired.
But day to day I don't say "I'm tired".
I struggle to understand the epidemic of "tiredness"...and sometimes think uncharitable thoughts that people are just medicalizing normal feelings.
Interestingly when I qualified as a GP in 2004 "tatt" tired all the time , was the second most common reason people came to the GP. The first bring back ache...so maybe things haven't changed.

What? Re-heating food? Why is that a problem? Batch-cooking is the only way I can eat even vaguely healthily.

@GlassCeling that was fascinating! Maybe it is something like that. I don't think experiences do faze me much, so that fits, but on the other hand I've always had a very healthy regard for my own life so I don't do rock climbing! I definitely don't seek out adrenaline highs. I will look up some more stuff on low arousal.