Fed up with people's comments about second baby

[LucyOriellsHat]

Am 21 weeks pregnant with baby #2 after 6 years and multiple miscarriages. Already have a DS. This one is a boy as well. I had no preference whatsoever and nor did DH but since we've found out, when people have asked and we've told them what we're having I have had so much "oh no, were you disappointed?" or "oh two boys, that will be madness" or "will you try for a third to see if you can get a girl?" or people saying I must be so sad that I will never have a daughter etc etc, that my house will be full of football and gaming. Already had that stupid "a daughter is a daughter for life, a son is yours until he finds a wife" comment.

It's pissing me right off. Why are people so down on boys?! I grew up with four sisters and I can tell you for nothing our house was every bit as nuts as anyone else I knew who had brothers - my sisters and I used to beat the crap out of each other, be noisy, be boisterous and all the other things that people are assuming "boys" are like. Whereas my DS is the least boisterous child I've ever met in my life - quiet and gentle, sits and reads, has no interest in gaming or football, loves crafts and drawing, not a physical child at all. Why are these stereotypes still so persistent and why do people assume I will be devastated not to have a daughter?!

I have five sons and got the same sort of comments! People would ask if we kept trying for a girl (we didn't) or say oh what a shame when we'd say we're having another boy. I loved having a houseful of boys and don't feel sad about not having a daughter, although I'd have been just as happy to have girls. I grew up with 2 sisters and the 3 of us were much more of a handful than any of my boys! 😂

Maybe just say ‘gosh what a strange thing to say’ and leave it at that. That would certainly make me realise I’d made a faux pas.

I always say something awful and awkward that is going to cause offence. I just get anxious and say the wrong thing.
Sometimes people just need to fill the air and they say crap. Don't worry about it.
People with twins get asked 'but which is your favourite?"
People with an only child get comments "aren't they so lonely?"
People with girls "no boy for daddy?"
People with kids close together "ooo 2 under 2 that's a handful"

IT.GOES.ON...

I had my second boy and my sister had a girl after two boys around the same time . All I got was oh dear I bet you want a girl next time . So now your sister has had a girl you will try again . People thinking I was jealous. My son is a delight and my niece is a horror so I think I got the better deal 😂

I think people make silly comments all the time regardless of what sex of children you have. My oldest is a girl and my middle is a boy, after I had my son I had comments like "well done you having one of each", like it was some amazing accomplishment or something. I also had a lot of people saying "well you won't be having a third now as you've got one of each". Well actually we did have a third because we wanted three children. After having my third I was asked by a midwife if I will be having a 4th in the hopes if get another boy to even things out.

Just laugh it off. It's what folk say. Same as a houseful of girls. Not that 2 boys is exactly a houseful of boys.

When people ask about my children and I tell them I have 4 boys, I get the inevitable "did you want a girl/disappointed you don't have a girl/going to try for a girl?
It's annoying but I just dismiss the comments by saying I've never been bothered about the sex and am done with having children.

Congrats on your baby boy 💙

@LucyOriellsHat , they are just making conversation. I have two DD close in age and I got several comments along the lines of 'Weren't you disappointed she wasn't a boy?'
These comments were made in front of DD.

Have a direct reply that will make the other person feel shit.
Something like a quizzical 'Oh, why should I be disappointed?' might do the trick. Sound questioning and concerned not defensive.

Some people have no filter.

Sometimes people just need to fill the air and they say crap. Don't worry about it. This.
People with twins get asked 'but which is your favourite?" and 'Are they identical' when they're obviously not.
People with an only child get comments "aren't they so lonely?" and 'She'll be spoilt'
People with kids close together "ooo 2 under 2 that's a handful" and 'Are they twins?'

My worst one was 'What a shame she has ginger hair'. Said in front of her to me.
Our hair isn't ginger but we are redheads.