To feel really sad for my DD

[butterflywingss]

Parents evening once again and I am feeling really sad..

Every year seems to be the same with DD struggling in her work and the teacher telling me she's behind her classmates in development.

Growing up I never got the support and help I needed for my studies, my parents expected good from me but never actually took the time to help develop me either. As a parent now I said I would never let my child be in that position because I didn't want her to feel insecure and struggle how I did and compare herself to her friends like I did.

I have paid for her to get extra support once a week, I make sure to sit and keep on top of her homework. I have made sure to give my child everything necessary to help her feel confident but she's still struggling.

I can't help but get knots in my stomach at her teaching saying she writes and I can't understand what she is saying. She's easily distracted and I believe lacks the confidence in herself even though I tell her everyday what a wonderful and smart girl she is.

When I hear other parents saying oh how good their child is and how well they are with their studies, I feel like shit.

Can someone please advise what I can do and has anyone's child been in this position only to thrive in the end ???

You have had some good advice on here and I think she may have additional needs or need extra support but maybe get the school achievements in perspective. Don't pressure her with extra coaching unless she wants it but try and nurture the things she enjoys doing. 7 is very young to have academic expectations on her and hopefully she will find something she is good at and enjoys.

Sounds like an educational psychology assessment would be helpful.

Sending you all virtual hugs, I really appreciate all the advice! At a previous meeting with her teacher she did suggest they may get SENCO involved if they didn't see any improvement. I think it's time they maybe do something to figure out what is holding her back.

I must admit I have done a poor job at keeping up with reading but we have started reading a lot more now. Her math is ok, she says she enjoys that more than English but of course still some struggles. Bless her heart like when she writes me letters all the time it will be "To (her name) the message for me "I love mummy, daddy and sister, and (her name) and then finish it off with from (her name) or something mine.

She's always trying to learn and asks me how to spell things all the time. However, I think her confidence has definitely had a knock on effect on her.

I am going to try some online activities that someone suggested and try and do reading. She also failed her phonics test two years in a row now so I think I may have to start teaching her myself at home. She's a very social kid but I also don't want her to become an outcast to her class because some kids can be mean and may single her out and she's sensitive inside.

When you read with her maybe share it so perhaps she reads a page then you read a page (and she follows with her finger while you do) or even a sentence each. Or you read the majority and just ask her to read certain words to take the pressure off.
Lots of encouragement, praise and making it a cosy together time she looks forward to is needed to stop her being put off reading.
My daughter started to resent reading so I had to try a softly, no pressure approach with her.
And, as I mentioned before, the audio books kept her interested in stories and meant she still wanted to learn to read.
Good luck xx