Are you ever the only woman at work?

[WinkyTinky]

That's my question. I work in a male dominated industry, and mostly get along really well with all of my male colleagues without even noticing that, at times, I'm the only woman here. But occasionally I feel a bit uncomfortable, especially as sometimes they can get a bit schoolboy-ish and show each other questionable videos on their phones, as they have done this afternoon when there's only me here and the other women have gone home. Anyway, just asking out of interest, how common is this?

I am, I work in a construction related industry. I’ve gotten used to it over the years but sometimes I do get a bit sick of the toilet humour. I’ve been taken off site now I’m pregnant and put in the office with other women, and the bitchiness and pettiness is driving me mad. I can’t wait to go back out on site 😆

Same feelings as you @SquashPenguin I'm happier with the men than the women! In fact, they're the worst ones for starting filthy conversations. But, sometimes just get that weird feeling...

"Would you mind not doing/saying that while there's female staff around, thanks" might do the trick.

Yes often because I'm on senior meetings. We don't have dodgy videos but we do have discussion of cricket.

@citrinetrilogy I do that. It falls on deaf ears.

So often! I work in engineering/construction. We once had a meeting where it was all women and everyone commented - nobody notices when it’s all men!

We don’t really have any issues, we do a lot of work on diversity and inclusion and everyone has pretty much taken it on board. Definitely not an issue with our grads, if anything it’s the older generation.

All the time. My expertise is in an extremely male dominated field. The men on the team always behave professionally and go out of their way to make sure I am happy to be on the team.

the culture of our company just wouldn’t tolerate any kind of questionable video sharing or insensitive jokes. We sit through training annually on the subject, but everyone is a professional and I can’t imagine someone being stupid enough to jeopardize their job.

I've worked in consultancy that has its fingers in lots of male dominated pies (demolition, oil industry, petrochemicals etc) for decades and fortunately things have changed for the better, for hands on work at least. Not sure about 'in the board room'.

I saw a book in a museum bookshop about this very topic OP:

https://www.phaidon.com/agenda/photography/2022/May/04/the-only-woman-in-politics/

I am sometimes the only woman, like the time I was on an 'oil flight' and I realised that the only women apart from me were the cabin crew - all the other passengers were male.

Some time ago we did a job where the men said they'd never worked with women before and they made a big show of being on their 'best behaviour' until they realised we swore more than they did and weren't frightened of mucking in and getting our hands dirty.

My department is around 85% men. Luckily I've never seen my colleagues watching dodgy videos though!

Pretty much every single day unless we we have freelance people in the office which is rare; almost never out on site. Technical managerial role in a construction related field.

99% of the time its absolutely fine as misogyny has been hugely clamped down on in my field in recent years, and most are sub-40 so can manage to get their heads round it. I'm sure some of them 'behave' in my presence however I won't object to that.

I'm never intimidated, and if somebody is being a dick I call it, professionally. That's 14 years in the making though.

I worked in a call center in a past life with all-women...never NEVER again. Fucking awful.

Behaviour has improved a lot over the last 30 years - I may still often be the only woman in the room but most meetings or teams have at least one women in the room and there are women at all levels of the organisation now

I’ve always worked in or close to IT, so reasonably often. Have been the only woman in the team on several occasions in the past, and am still quite often the only woman in a meeting. As PP have said, it becomes noticeable more as a result of sport chitchat rather than open misogyny. But when it has happened making a loud “jokey” comment about taking notes for the chat with HR has usually worked to nip it in the bud.

I'm in a finance / tech environment so most of my career I've been the only, or one of a very few women in the office. I've never had to put up with any kind of dirty humour like you mentioned thankfully. The worst was when the guys got far too into fantasy football, or cricket, or whatever sport was on at the time but I got good at tuning it out.

I've just moved into a team which is 50:50 women and men and it is lovely to have a bit more variety in the conversation but apart from that the dynamic is pretty much the same.

I am the only woman in team of 6 and it’s fine, they did get a talking too before I started as they are all trades. They are mindful of me though 🙈

I was when I worked in CID. The team of males were all professional and respectful of each other and everyone else. No problems at all.

Blimey! I spent the best part of 2 months convincing my all male co-workers that it was okay to swear and talk about their weekend conquests when I was around. Boy, did they mind their P's and Q's at first. That made me more uncomfortable because I felt like I wasn't accepted and was someone to be tiptoed around.

I drew the line at the 'C' word though and would threaten them with not submitting their overtime in if they used it when I was around.

Saying "would you mind not saying that" would have had them saying it all the more, along with "ooohhhhhh, get you little miss prudish" or some such.

Smashing bunch they were. I miss them. Even though it was like working with a bunch of teenagers at times.

Current workplace (and sector) majority women. What a relief that has been.

Previous workplaces have most been majority men and the misogyny, sexual and toxic masculinity has been unbearable at times. Didn't really realise how bad until I got out of it.

I'm work in construction and I'm often the only woman in the site office and it's honestly like working with teenage boys.

I work in an industry which is allied to construction so deal with a lot of developers, fire safety engineers, contractors, surveyors etc. While my industry itself is much more evenly split, I'm quite often the only woman in the room or meeting.

Quite often the only woman in our office. Not had an issue with it; I've been working since the late '80s, usually in mixed environments. I am so pleased that this time only the dinosaur soon-to-retire CEO is the only one in the current place with those ideas.

I have fun with this sometimes, usually because I CBA to say what I actually do (it's an uncommon job). I describe my job as mostly meeting men, occasionally women, for a chat and sometimes they make me dress up for them so I can look at their equipment.

Once I was killing time waiting for one client so I took the opportunity to phone another one to make an appointment. I may have mentioned that I was waiting to meet a man at the docks, which I was. Because I needed to get onto his boat to take some environmental samples.

I also work in IT. In a very technical role.
I don't give a fig about 'words' as long as I get my nice fat salary +bonus, flexible working, promotions and senior visibility.
OP, I get what you mean, but IME politeness doesn't mean always equality. They just hide it better.

Anecdotal examples but one of the most 'polished', rah-rah equality workplaces where nobody would dream of even saying anything wrong was the worst. People spoke over me, didn't respect my opinions, I knew they were all being cliquey and saying whatever they wanted behind my back. My current workplace which is like what you mention, well, my expertise is valued. Anything I want, I get.

People aren't showing each other 'questionable' videos but the level of humour can be a bit juvenile. My boss , pointing to my laptop flower screensaver "that's you!". LOL. thanks boss.

I’m the only woman to approx 15 men in my dept. Work as a civilian at a military base. It’s great, we have a laugh, though I won’t let it get too smutty, they know that and are respectful towards me. Previously worked with a load of women, this is way better, I love my job actually.

I think I understand what you're feeling, as much as I hate to be thought of as a prude, it can make me uncomfortable that the 'boys club's is alive and well, even among 'professional' men.
My male colleagues generally do act better when I'm there but, when I'm not, I'd say the misogyny is rife. I've heard them talking about a friend's girlfriend's cracking arse etc

Not in the office but I often find myself the only female at a client event/lunch. I don't notice until football/sport chat comes up, when one of them will invariably turn to me (unprompted by any reaction) and say "Sorry Creakie, we're boring with you with this football chat". I find it SO incredibly patronising and irritating. As if I've never heard of that kicky-round-thing-gamey. But no issues with childish videos etc. It's mainly pretty professional.