I don’t want to take my medication for anxiety

[Gerryactrick]

I have been prescribed medication for anxiety and depression. I have been suffering since my childhood but I kept it to myself and struggled quietly. I’m now in my 30s and have admitted defeat. I can’t cope anymore, I hate myself and my life, I’m never happy and I’m constantly expecting something bad to happen. I have panic attacks if I leave the house, I assume the worst and I have no friends or support. It got to breaking point when I overheard a school mum talking about me. Apparently I’m weird for not talking to anyone (severe social anxiety so I drop and run) and they wouldn’t want their children mixing with mine as were obviously a strange family. This really got to me as now I know it’s affecting my children. The thing is I am terrified to take the medication. I know it’s there to help and may or may not work, it may need adjustments or a change of prescription, I won’t know until I take it. The thought of being dependent on it potentially for the rest of my life is nerve wracking for me. I never ask for help, I usually have my own way of coping, coming to this result makes me feel a failure. I worry I will react negatively to the medication and make my children suffer. I’m a single parent with no support so there is no adult to help me or tell me if they think something is wrong. I’ve managed 25 years of feeling like this, is the medication worth the stress and hassle? Can anyone share their experience with medication please?

I expect you feeling apprehensive is part of your anxiety - always expecting the worst outcome ?

But let's look at that. Worst case scenario is you don't like the way they make you feel ... you can just stop taking them. You really can.

Best case scenario you feel calmer, more able to cope with the ups and downs of daily life. You feel more motivated and you find yourself getting along with people better. Maybe you try some CBT or therapy alongside the tablets and you find yourself learning some healthy coping strategies to deal with panic attacks.

You really have nothing to lose. Try it.

They have to note ALL of the possible side effects but that doesn't mean you will have all, or even any of them. I've been on escitalopram for anxiety since 2008 and had only a few minor side effects for a few weeks. It has been life-changing. Please don't let your anxiety stop you from taking your meds.

I also don’t want to take medication. I am considering tms therapy or emdr. In the meantime I went to a naturopath and get some herbal supplements to balance my mood. There are plenty of other ways to turn off fight or flight mode

The only real way to deal with the anxiety is to take the meds.
They will work.
I find that being grateful we live in a time and place these things are available to us, and we no longer have to suffer, or rely on inneffective herbal remedies etc.
Nothing works as well as the meds when you are this far down the rabbit hole.
Im v grateful everyday for the meds that saved my dds sanity.
Be kind to yourself and take them.

I was going to start a similar thread - I haven’t been to the GP yet but preparing myself to do it.

Just to let you know I totally understand how you feel - I feel the same.

Excellent post @Namechange666

I was on citalopram for 18 months. The only side effect was feeling a hell of a lot better than I did before taking them.

Thank you I appreciate it.

I wish I had someone help me with the practical side, as whilst meds can really help, I also feel by being given practical tools to manage our mental health is better for our personal resilience and knowing what to do in the awful moment of having a panic attack cam be quicker long term.

I had some awful advice given along the way. Told by one mental health advocate to breathe into a bag! This is very old and outdated advice and it does not work!

But ACT is really good and helps you to take control back of your mind which I was desperate to do. Anxiety really makes you feel out of control.

Talk to your GP about your anxieties about the side effects and whether it's possible to start with a very low dose and build it up?

If you're most worried about side effects and driving your teen to school, would it be possible to start the meds around a school holiday? Or could you book time off work to get public transport with your son. Could school help in any way?

Have you mentioned to your GP you need to be able to drive? Is driving prohibited or is drowsiness only a potential side effect? Usually the information with the medication gives an indication of how many people in 100/1000 are usually affected, so you can guage if it's very likely or more unlikely.

There's usually lots of choice of different type of anxiety medications too, so side effects on one drug often mean you can try a different one.

I have GAD and what really worked for me beyond medication has been exposure therapy. The more I do the things that trigger my anxieties, the more normal they become and the less anxious I feel doing them.

Edited for typos!