DD Awful Behaviour!

[PinkBear83]

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post but I need some advice, somewhere to vent and some support.
My DD is 8, lately her behaviour has been awful, getting angry over the smallest things which leads her to kick doors, hit me and call me names, I am at a loss, she refuses to go to time out, I have to remove other privileges before she does.
I dread each day, this behaviour seems to have come from nowhere and has slowly got worse over the course of a few weeks. I am feeling depressed having to deal with it all.
There seems to be no issues at school, she’s not aggressive there, so I don’t understand why she’s doing this.

Is her nutrition and sleep good? It sounds minor thing but I honestly think both can be a game changer . So good to rule that out . I'm sorry this sounds so difficult and keeping calm really important too and talking to her kindly about it when she's past the heat of the moment

My not-long-turned-9 year old is a bit like this suddenly. Her friends’ mums are reporting similar. Hormones at play maybe?

Behaviour is communication. Something must be off.
I'd try not to get too cross and keep the lines of communication open to try find out the reason.
I wouldn't rule out any school issues. Kids often hold it together all day and then explode at home because you are their safe space.
My daughter is 7 and is an explosive ball of energy after school. I find it really difficult but I think she has a tough time at school with dyslexia, she is extremely calm and placid there though according to her teacher.

ensure basic needs are met - sleep, rest, exercise, food,

Try to spend quality time with her 1:1 daily. A shared hobby she loves or similar.

Point out things you like about her and appreciate,

If she misbehaves, be empathic yet warmly boundried. Time out was a poor and failing technique for my sensitive determined child who has some mild ASD or ADHD traits.

Yes I think an eight year old is too old for time out. But removing privileges works with mine, screens basically. Our system is to give strikes for bad behaviour- if you get three strikes in one day, there are no screens whatsoever the next day. The mere threat of that works in most cases. Also, count to three before giving the strike or consequence, that can be quite effective and gives them a chance to stop.

P.S. I'm sorry you are going through this, it is not easy. But it is normal, and I'm sure will pass. Children will test boundaries throughout their development, they need to feel they are still there. Don't remove the boundaries, but set them firmly and with love. That's the art of good parenting I think!