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Original poster

Would you be honest at your exit interview?

54 replies

chatenoire · 20/03/2024 17:37

I really want to BUT I'm very good friend's with my manager and don't really want to cause her any trouble at work. HOWEVER it was her management and her actions that made me look for another job. Great friend, terrible manager.

OP posts:
MuggedByReality · 20/03/2024 18:31

I was completely honest in my exit interview when I left a previous job. I wasn’t personally rude or offensive to my manager, but I did tell them and HR exactly what I thought of the company and I didn’t hold back. It was a very satisfying feeling, as you might imagine.

BUT I had signed the contract for my new job. I wasn’t just leaving that company, I was also leaving the industry and had absolutely no intention of working in it again. So to an extent I was deliberately burning my bridges to make a clean break.

Winter3000 · 20/03/2024 18:36

No.
They don't care.

IvorTheEngineDriver · 20/03/2024 18:40

No way. You never know (a) that you might want to come back, or (b) your old employer could take over your new one.

Exit interviews are no place for "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth". Quite the reverse.

coxesorangepippin · 20/03/2024 18:40

Nope.

Just bitch about it afterwards in private

TwirlyWhirlie · 20/03/2024 18:53

I always want to but I never have (wimp). At one job, I was so glad I didn’t say what I was going to because I ended up going back because my new job didn’t work out (long story) Had I said what I really wanted to say then I’d have been unable to return 😜

Original poster
chatenoire · 20/03/2024 19:01

HouseofHolbein · 20/03/2024 18:26

I would have loved to be brutally honest. I think management were aware so I wasn't offered an exit interview 🤣🤣 tbf I never even got an acknowledgment of my resignation email either.

Large supermarket short staffed allowed people with no people skills to ruin the department.

I didn't get an acknowledgement either!

OP posts:
HouseofHolbein · 20/03/2024 19:16

@chatenoire some places know how to make you feel really valued don't they? 🤣🤣

Tbh most of the department managers know exactly why I left (issues with one person) and a lot of my colleagues have followed me out of the door. The ones that are still there are vocal about how it's not the same since I left - DH works there in a different department and my former colleagues regularly speak to him.

I've been asked to go back several times. Answer each time is fuck no 🤣🤣

mynewusername2023 · 20/03/2024 19:16

You could leave an anonymous review on Glassdoor but maybe wait a few months before you do so if it's such a small team. I'm going to do this once 6 months have passed.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 20/03/2024 19:18

You can always give her some honest feedback later

Fannyfiggs · 20/03/2024 19:25

Just bitch about it later with your friend. Oh no, wait...

I don't think I could be friends with someone who has caused me to leave my job.

VenusClapTrap · 20/03/2024 19:26

I was blisteringly honest. It was with a senior manager and he told me he knew there were problems in the department and he wanted to know exactly what had gone wrong. I have no idea if anything changed as a result.

Like a pp, I was changing industries so I didn’t care about burning bridges.

I think in op’s case though, discretion would be the better part of valour if you want to retain the friendship.

user1471556818 · 20/03/2024 19:56

No absolutely not .I don't believe these things are kept anonymous .

TwoWithCurls · 20/03/2024 20:00

Don't say anything negative. Save your friendship and future reference.

MissKittyFantastico84 · 20/03/2024 20:17

No one cares what you say in your exit interview.

HR is there to serve the company's best interests.

They don't care how you feel. You're leaving.

It won't feel good to 'get it off your chest'.

Give them the bare minimum. Yes or no, short sentences.

Decline it completely if you can!

AprilHandiwork · 20/03/2024 20:41

I had exactly this. Great friend, terrible manager.

I decided against it. Ultimately it wasn't the sort of place that would do much more than tell her my complaints and get her to explain her side.

Nothing would change for others. So what was the point? There'd be no quality to the flounce I wished to make!

bloom19 · 20/03/2024 20:43

No. They are never anonymous or confidential, if you don't want to burn bridges just smile and Talk about better opportunities in new job

dreadisabaddog · 20/03/2024 20:44

Yes, I was honest. If I'd been in a niche role or thought I might return at one point I might have been a bit less candid but I was glad to get out and felt they deserved my honesty

NahNeedsGarlic · 20/03/2024 20:45

Hell no, you might need a reference from them in the future.

Stressfordays · 20/03/2024 20:47

I'm a fan of not burning bridges when it comes to jobs. As it happens, I was very glad I didn't when my new job worked out and I walked out of there straight back into my old role.

Original poster
chatenoire · 20/03/2024 21:11

AprilHandiwork · 20/03/2024 20:41

I had exactly this. Great friend, terrible manager.

I decided against it. Ultimately it wasn't the sort of place that would do much more than tell her my complaints and get her to explain her side.

Nothing would change for others. So what was the point? There'd be no quality to the flounce I wished to make!

Did you remain friends after you left?

OP posts:
Doyouthinktheyknow · 20/03/2024 21:52

I am a firm believer in not burning bridges but I work in a part of the NHS which is a surprisingly small Trust so you do come across people again and again!

Think this is more pertinent if they are a friend. You would be burning that friendship….what do you value most?

Original poster
chatenoire · 21/03/2024 10:57

Doyouthinktheyknow · 20/03/2024 21:52

I am a firm believer in not burning bridges but I work in a part of the NHS which is a surprisingly small Trust so you do come across people again and again!

Think this is more pertinent if they are a friend. You would be burning that friendship….what do you value most?

I mean I'd like to see her again (we live 100s of miles away), and maybe I'd work with her again.

It's true though that if she had been a better manager, I wouldn't have suffered so much from my MH in the past 6 months.

She was also going through a lot of stuff herself, so I don't necessarily judge her. She did support me to try and do something else, but lack of budgets meant I couldn't.

When she got promoted and I got a new manager, the situation got unbearable and thus I looked somewhere else. ACAS even thought I had a good case for constructive dismissal.

OP posts:
LivingColour · 21/03/2024 10:59

Honest about processes etc. but not individuals.

It’s a small world, and you never know who may be your colleagues/managers in the future. In my current role, I work with five people who I’ve worked with previously in different organisations.

AprilHandiwork · 22/03/2024 11:32

@chatenoire we remained friends for a little while then it died away in that typical way of work friends. But i don't regret not making things hard for her. I don't think ultimately anyone would have benefited.

Original poster
chatenoire · 22/03/2024 17:23

AprilHandiwork · 22/03/2024 11:32

@chatenoire we remained friends for a little while then it died away in that typical way of work friends. But i don't regret not making things hard for her. I don't think ultimately anyone would have benefited.

Yes, I think that's what I'd expect.

Side note... It looks like I'll see everything go in flames from a distance

OP posts: