How often do your kids see their school friends outside of school?

[hardboiledeggs]

Hi,

My DS is 7. He is my oldest so I'm not sure what the norm is.

He has been invited to a few playdates since he started school and we have hosted a few but it doesn't happen that often. Say every 4 to a max of 6 months. I know that he has plenty of friends in school so I'm not concerned about that and he is very outgoing, he makes friends wherever we go so he is pretty confident in himself.

Kids round our way don't just play "out" so other than school, his clubs and the odd playdate he is generally with us, his younger brother and family. This doesn't seem to bother him so far but i wondered if this is normal?

Are most kids the same?

At that age i was out playing with my friends all day until the street lights came on so this is new to me 😂

We have never really done play dates, I think mine have had no more than 10 in 7 years of primary. They are twins so have each other for company and don’t often ask for play dates. We’re busing with sports and activities during term time visiting family over school holidays so they never really became a thing, thankfully!

If he’s happy don’t overthink it.

My 6 year old plays out with street friends most days when it’s warm but maybe once a week or less over winter. He plays after school with friends in the park beside school most days and he has a play date every few weeks. He enjoys it is an only child so I’m happy to accommodate plenty play dates. I’m also a lone parent so really appreciate others returning the favour.

DS's 7 and he's only had 3 play dates so for with school friends (one we invited, one he went & one met out). However a few of my friends have kids of a similar age that he gets on well with, we've been meeting up with the kids since they were babies so they've grown up as friends. We see one set most weeks, and a few others every couple of months, so he still gets to play with other kids quite often. He also has a younger sibling.

My DS(10) has a friend over every few weeks, I would be happy for him to have someone here most days tbh but most parents still insist on scheduling which I thought would be over by their age (most are already 11) but so be it, I don’t have the patience to be texting parents every day to sort stuff. Every now and again he and some of the other kids who are allowed a bit more freedom get together at the park two minutes from us to play football but he has a love hate relationship with those boys an we have no kids in our street for him to play with so otherwise he is at home but does lots of sports and other activities.

My DD is 7 and it’s more of a struggle, she has only had a handful of play dates. The girls in her class (v. Small class with single form entry) are always chopping and changing friends and the Mums just aren’t friendly at all so it’s hard. She does a lot of out of school clubs too, I feel like we have to just to give interactions.

I also grew up in a street with lots of kids and played out every night and I feel really bad that I haven’t given that to my DC as it was so much fun!

At that age they used to see at least one friend a week, then as they got to year 6 they'd meet at the park/town most weekends for a few hours.
Now in secondary they occasionally meet up in the week for a film but there is usually too much homework/revision but weekends we make sure they get to meet up with friends at least fortnightly

Mine is an only child so we do tend to have a lot of playdates - normally at least one a week. One of her friends lives next door so she is either here or DD goes there at least once, more often 2-3 times a week (also an only child). When the weather is nice there's always quite a few in the park after school. Quite often bump into 1 or 2 of her classmates there if we go at the weekend too. It's a medium sized village with single form entry school so she seems to know most of the village children and there is always someone around. No playing out unless there is a street party or something. I am an introvert and find it quite hard, but she is a social butterfly so we do it as important to her. ETA: She is 9 now, been having regular playdates since class R, covid excepting.

At that age my child played a lot with his friend next door, so it was just spontaneous, nothing was planned. He had the occasional friend over from school but I didn't make an effort unless he asked.

I have noticed a steady decline especially since Covid. When my now 21 and 18 year olds were younger, it was constant and very much the done thing. By the time my now 14 year old was in primary, it was mainly if you knew the parents. My 10 year old hardly has any.

It is the same with parties, it used to be that most children in the class had a birthday party. Now it is maybe 2 children a year.

I have 3 children aged 15, 12 and 6. It feels constant that there are extra children here!! The older ones sometimes just turn up with a friend after school or at the weekend if they've been out - if they are expecting them to stay for dinner they know they need to give me some warning though. The youngest usually has a friend over or goes to a friend's house once a week - luckily all her friends live within walking distance so I'm not required to taxi around like I often have to with the older ones.

Mostly I don't mind as especially with the younger one if she has a friend over they play nicely. I can facilitate these play dates as I work from home and pick her up from school every day - if she was in after school club then they wouldn't happen as often!

Feels like we have always got other kids here but as dd is an only l don't mind at all.

I am hopeful there will be more kids around during the summer that he can play with.

I think I might be best to follow his lead. I just worry he's missing out but that likely just my insecurity.

Thank you for all the replies, they really helped.

Our DC still have birthday parties to go to most weekends so it's difficult to fit play dates around their activities.

I have a 7 and 11 yo. Neither of them have had many play dates. There are regular birthday parties and a few times a year there's an early finish and they play at the park. But I don't enjoy hosting play dates and tbh there's not much time in our schedule for them - both dcs have activities after school every school day, and weekends are spent having days out as a family. The dcs get more out of those activities than just playing at someone's house imo.