Self sabotage

[NotSureWhatIShouldDoNow]

Hi MN,

Can any of you wise beings explain why I neglect or shy away from the things that are good for me when I'm feeling low and instead get entrenched in habits that me no good?

I find my behaviour intriguing and infuriating by turns. I find it such a struggle to exercise, eat healthily, practice self care when I'm feeling down. Instead, I reach for the sugar, put on half a stone, feel pity of control and sorry for myself and fall down a rabbit hole of rumination about whatever it is that set me off in the first place.

It's like I want to be miserable in a strange way. Is it a form of self punishment for things not going right/well/as I wanted them to? Is it just more complfortable to wallow than to pick yourself up and try again?

Can anyone shed any light on why I do this to myself or do this to themselves too? How do I break out of this negative spiral?

I found Gillian Riley's approach really helpful

So often we think that we will treat ourselves well when we feel good about ourselves when actually it's the treating ourselves well that builds self esteem. By not treating yourself well or by not prioritising your own needs you are depleting your self esteem

Hope you find something of use in her work. The first link I found was about 'eating less' The approach works for whatever you want to change. Not easy, but very very simple.

https://eatingless.com

Good luck.

Thank you. I'll take a look.

So often we think that we will treat ourselves well when we feel good about ourselves when actually it's the treating ourselves well that builds self esteem. By not treating yourself well or by not prioritising your own needs you are depleting your self esteem

This really resonates.