Really dislike our new midday lead how do I get past it

[Cruisem]

We've just got a new leader of the midday assistants at the school I work at. Ive known of her for 2 years doing other roles within in the school and I've never gelled with her she's miserable, boring, isn't fun and bubbly, has a resting bitch face and is very untalkable with.
How am I going to have to work with her and take orders from someone I just don't get a good feeling from and I've tried plenty of times to talk to her and get some form of communication.
She's pretty chatty with the other staff but I know there not keen either

You stop trying to chat, you follow instructions and you do your job.

Not every colleague is going to be someone you like on a personal level as well.

Is she rude to you? Dismissive? Unprofessional? If so you may have a case. If not, you just need to learn that people have different personalities and use this as a chance to get on with a different type of person.

I think it usually translates as 'loud-mouthed, attention-grabbing bore'.

Typical of modern attitudes to employment - I'm there for entertainment and to have fun.
Try doing what they pay you for - work

Are you fun and bubbly OP?

You are there to attend to the children. These positions are usually woefully understaffed to begin with. I am surprised that you even find the time to have a chat, anyway.

I have what people might describe as 'resting bitch face'. Amazingly, I successfully manage a large team, despite not being at all 'fun and bubbly'. It turns out that this is because 'being fun and bubbly' is neither a skill nor personality trait required to manage people.

Usually loud, annoying, no boundaries or social awareness of others.

Try and think critically about your concerns. Why do you require a leader to be fun, bubbly or chatty? Why does this affect your ability to do your job or get on with your life?

Why may someone not come across this way, different personality type, personal difficulties, compartmental approach to work
I.e. she is there to do a job, not make friends?

Be polite and civil to your usual standard, and follow directions.

If she is dismissive, discriminatory or aggressive then that may be different but you really don't have to get on with everyone you work with.

If this is serious, you suck it up and stop whinging about someone you are paid to work with. Honestly!

Oh no! Nothing worse than being untalkable to….

‘Fun and bubbly’

I avoid these people at all costs.

I know the kind of person you mean OP.I think a lot of us have worked with them. They suck the fun out of a room and bring attention when they walk into it with a black cloud.

I worked with one at a school too. So I thought rather than moaning to myself about her, I would get to know her. And it taught me a huge lesson, because do you know what? She WAS as miserable as I thought at first, I was right. So it taught me to not fight my natural instincts about a person. not the ending I bet most people thought I was going to say 😂

The only good thing was she owned her RBF (her words) so that endeared me a bit to her

Do you think everyone else has a boss they like? They aren’t there to be your friend? She’s in a more senior position so likely just wants to do her job and go home like most people. Resting bitch face is such a horrible comment and un talkable to? What does that even mean? It’s work not a social gathering

You have made yourself sound desperately immature in that post. I suspect that is part of the problem

It’s no fun working with someone when you don’t get along. But unless she’s letting any dislike of you seep into her professional treatment of you (for example, obviously favouring other members of staff over you), you just have to put it down to bad luck.

Reframe your relationship with her as purely transactional. You’re there to get paid, as is she. She gives direction, you complete the tasks. You don’t need to chat to her or ask about her plans for the weekend; just do what you need to, keep things civil and factual. Then when you go home, you don’t need to give her another thought. If one of you moves jobs, you never have to clap eyes on her again.

The time to worry is if she’s actively treating you badly or is unable to handle the job (therefore making life difficult for you). If she’s just not particularly friendly, you don’t need to be towards her either.

resting bitch face

Newsflash: women don't exist to smile all the time.

You sound like a year nine "mean girl". Grow up.

I translate people like that as over confident or even annoying.

Others see bubbly as lively, energetic, etc

Tell her she should smile more.

You're there for how long - six to ten hours or so a week for next to fuck-all money?

It's either get on with it or, as the majority of schools can't find somebody able to earn so little right in the middle of the day with no scope for earning extra, apply to the next school along.

Whether you like her or not is irrelevant.
You remain professional and you do your job.

She's your manager, not a butlins redcoat.