Favourite child? Do you have one?

[ChipsCheeseAndGravey]

Hi, so I am one of 5. My mum only has one and the rest are my dads from two previous relationships. Some of my half siblings lived with us when I was growing up. We have a running family joke that I’m my dad’s favourite and my half brother is my mum’s. I don’t think my mum actually has a favourite, if she does she doesn’t show it much but my half brother and her do get on very well and have more similar interests. I do think my dad has a favourite though (me). I was talking to a friend who is also from a large family and she said all parents have favourites, even mums. I have some questions relating to this:

1. if you have multiple siblings do you think your parents have favourites? What was it that made their favourite the favourite?

2. do you have a favourite child? Why are they your favourite?

3. does your DH have a favourite child?

4. if you have live in step children do you love them as much as your own child? I genuinely think my mum loves my brother and sister who lived with us full time as much as me. Partly because they lived with us from a young age, had lived with her for 7 years when she got pregnant with me. If she doesn’t love us all the same amount she does a really good job of hiding it.

My DD!

I don't have a favourite. I have a toddler, a teenager and step daughter (11) so relate in different ways. I can talk for hours to my teen but then constantly tell my toddler how cute they are and cuddle them all of the time . I think both of my children would say they were the favourite if you asked them. I'm pretty sure my step daughter would also say that she is just as loved as the others by me.

My husband does have a favourite, I really don't like this and will pull him up if I think it is becoming obvious.

I would say I do love my step daughter the same as the others but it is not as much a primal love as my own.

My favourite child is the one that David Tennant’s parents had.

I’m quite enthusiastic about the one that Maro Itoje’s parents had too.

My own children are all equally annoying and delightful.

My favourite is the dog.

My favourite is whichever child is being least annoying at that particular time.

When I was a child I would say that I was a ‘mummy’s girl’ and DSis was a ‘daddy’s girl’. My cousins were all in pairs too and I think they had the same dynamic - usually the older one was the daddy’s girl because the dad had to step up and look after the toddler more when the second child was born. I think that’s a more accurate representation than ‘favourites’ - at any point in life there’s usually a child you are doing more for, and later on there’s usually one child/parent dynamic where they get on better/ have more in common/ argue less. My DSis and my dad shared a hobby, and he and I didn’t really have anything to talk about until I was grown up, but no one was a ‘favourite’.

Not quite sure how it works with more than two children though.

Which ever one slept best last night!

I have two children and don't have a favourite. My oldest has autism and is hard work but I love him fiercely and frankly spend more of my mental energy on him. My youngest is easier and delightful. I love one to one time with my youngest but end up missing my oldest eventually!

I have three. I don’t have a favourite, I can’t even imagine preferring one to another. They all have very different qualities, all equally wonderful in my eyes.
I don’t think my parents had a ‘favourite’, although my mum and my brother had a better relationship than I had with my mum. I think they were just more similar.

My mum always used to say her favourite was her car 😂but I think I think it's always been my eldest brother (her pfb). I was definitely my dad's favourite.

I don't have a favourite between my dcs although everyone seems to assume my favourite is dc2.

I don't love my dss as much as I love my own dc but I think I would if he was here more often and I had more of a parenting role with him. He is very special to me though and we've got our own special bond.

I have two and I don’t have a favourite. They’re different, different ages, different personalities etc but I don’t love one more or less than the other.

I have found parenting DC2 very different to DC1 (DC1 I was a young, nervous single parent, DC2 I was older, calmer, had more support). I think this made me have more of a fierce / protective feeling towards my eldest, whereas I have been much more relaxed and secure with youngest. It’s different but I don’t have a favourite, I adore them both.

No favourite here, my DS’ are complete opposites, but both loved and adored equally.

Whatever one is giving me the least grief!

In all fairness they are both adults now and if you asked them they'd probably say that the other one is the favourite 😂

1.if you have multiple siblings do you think your parents have favourites? What was it that made their favourite the favourite?
DS1 is mums favourite. I don't know why, but he can do no wrong.
DS2 is dad's favourite. He's the only boy on my generation to have a son and therefore the only one who can carry on the family name. Apparently.

2. do you have a favourite child? Why are they your favourite? No. I have 2 dc.

3.does your DH have a favourite child?
I don't have a DH. But their father clearly prefers his dc with his new wife.

The cat. He's least trouble and very fluffy.

But my DSs are convinced they are my favourite but in reality neither is.

My brother is my Mum’s favourite, and I am fine about that now as an adult. He lives closer and supports them more than I can. I am grateful that he is shouldering this heavy burden. He is my favourite sibling. He is my only nice sibling. An altogether brilliant human.

My favourite child fluctuates with how they behave. So I love them equally, but like them differently at different times.

I don't have a favourite, but it probably seems at times I favour one over the other when there's things in their life that need my attention like exams, celebrations and things that wanted sorted. So one gets more attention for a while then that flips to the other one as needed

My brother is the favourite for both my parents, very obviously. Theres only the two of us as well.

I only have 1 DC but don't have favourites

DD is my favourite at the moment - she is just a total joy (she is an older teen) and I love hanging out with her. Her brother is a pain in the arse but it's just his age ( younger teen) he is currently thoughtless, monosyllabic, messy, rude etc. However he was a ray of sunshine when he was younger and DD was a pain in the arse so it definitely changes. I love them both fiercely but there are definitely times when I much prefer the company of one over the other. I'm sure DS will be lovely again when his hormones calm down and his brain finishes developing!

I am definitely my parents favourite but my DB is a really tricky character and much harder to have a relationship with. I know they love us both, but I am more interactive/chattier than DB so it's much harder work with him!

I struggle with ds. He’s just not a very nice person.

Only one child here so only one to choose from. Sometimes they are not even my favourite 😆

Parents often do have favourites. Mine did, my in-laws did. I can also tell from observing friends who their favourites are too. As much as they say they don’t have them. It’s a hard thing to admit to yourself and often people don’t consciously even know it.

3 DC here. One was very difficult as a young child and teen, and if I’m honest I found it hard to like them at times. They’ve grown into a lovely adult though, so no, no favourites - I admire/like different aspects of each of them. They’re all pretty great 😊

The dog is my actual favourite!

My teen DD's would both tell you that DS is mu favourite. He isn't of course, but he's much easier to parent and I hardly ever have to tell him off or nag him to tidy his room, do homework etc. They are MUCH harder work, that's the difference.

A lot of people I’ve observed seem to have favourites as well. One thing I’ve noticed is a lot of bigger families it’s like three older girls and then one boy and the boy is obviously the favourite. Also common that the youngest is the favourite. I have a lot of friends who say their younger sibling gets/got preferential treatment. I think the fact I’m the youngest is part of the reason I’m my dad’s favourite, also because I am the most like him and I would say I put the most effort in with him as he can sometimes be difficult due to what I strongly suspect is ASD.

My mum always says teen girls were harder than teen boys. That’s part of the reason we say my half brother is her favourite, because when my sister was a teenager and was raising hell he was chilling out in his room playing fifa.

I don’t have a favourite. I’m one of 3 and don’t feel my mum has a favourite. I’m also a stepmother and definitely don’t love them like my own.