Toddler hitting!

[showmethegin]

DS will be 2 in June and this weekend has started hitting!

He is a happy boy in most respects but he has really become a toddler, extremely headstrong, stubborn and we are suddenly having a lot of tantrums. This weekend he has hit me twice, quite hard. I didn't see it coming and therefore was unable to catch his arm. Any advice? We are a gentle parenting family (not permissive!) We have firm boundaries but I'm not sure how to tackle this? He also bit his dad this morning!

Mine bit at this age. If my understanding of gentle parenting is right it wouldn't have made sense at this age for him. I don't think he could process sentences all that well, especially when in the moment, so talking to him about it would only add to his frustration.

The only thing I found which worked was a really random bit of advice which sounds a bit odd. Approaching it as a sensory thing, watch him like a hawk and when you think he's about to bite/hit (hard I know, it seems to come out of nowhere) step in and give a different, big sensory input like a hug. Not speech or a toy, but a big sensory distraction. I'm not saying it fixed everything but I'd never have thought of it, and I found it genuinely helpful.

He was eventually diagnosed with autism years later but when he was 2, he was considered just an NT child hitting his milestones. As he got older we became a lot more aware of what was triggering him, and what had seemed random became easier to anticipate. It's really hard at 2.

That is so interesting thank you. We are big huggers, he loves a cuddle and so I don't think this would be odd or forced so will definitely try it.

I'm surprised to be honest that this has happened this early, I know it's a common phase, my nieces went through it albeit later (that could just be me misremembering it though). His language skills are excellent for his age, he communicates well and seems to understand what we say; it's his physical development that seemed slightly behind if anything I wonder if this new hitting stage is arising out of his sudden new ability to run etc. it always seems to happen when he wants to go outside when we can't at that moment, climb on something inappropriate, do something dangerous!

I'm still not quite sure what is meant by gentle parenting , so apologies for my ignorance on that, but, I've had four children and one grandchild and I've worked a looong time in early years.
2 year olds are balls of frustration as they become individuals rather than babies who don't see themselves as separate from Mum/Dad .Plus they are developing new skills every day..and they don't have empathy (that's a good few years down the line!) so a kind chat about how we don't do that because it isn't kind... doesn't really make sense to them. They feel cross..they lash out.

Prevention is key... watch like a hawk and remove at signs of a tantrum building..distract if possible, damage limitation if not. Keep language short and sweet and keep the word you want them to hear LAST.
'Stop hitting!'... last word they here is 'Hitting'
'Biting STOPS'... the word stop is the word that filters through (hopefully)

And it IS ok to be firm about this. Biting is horrible (my toddler Grandson has finally..thank heavens ..come out of this phase but it lasted a good 6 months) and they need to hear the word NO, especially if biting extends to other toddlers at playgroups etc as no one is impressed with parents who have a nice chat with the child who just bit theirs! I've only had to remove DGS once... he bit his little friend who had taken a toy off him (thankfully his Mum and I are good friends). We said sorry...and we left the toddler group straight away , with.. ' DGS bites.. we go home, playing stops' He understood quite quickly that biting means nice things stop .

Just be calm but firm... :) It passes but you do have to be consistent and get the message across.