Moving from a city...experiences?

[Beansandneedles]

Have you moved from a bigish city to a smaller town? What made you do it? Are you glad or do you have regrets? What do you like and dislike about your new life?

Considering exiting the big smoke but I'm not sure whether it's the right choice. I doubt we'd be able to afford to return, so it's a big decision Might possibly have the option to rent somewhere before committing, but need to weigh everything up first.

Yep! Did it last year- London to a market town in the south downs. It was a now or never situation, as we wanted to go before DD started school in Sept 24, and have a choice of schools (though they are all pretty good). We knew the town well, though, as my ILs all live there.

Adore our house, and the town is great- everything you need, always something happening... Having to build new local friendships (helped by having a small kid) is always a pain, but I had eyes wide open. I work mainly from home, but DH commutes twice a week which annoys him hugely, though he has found ways to make.it more enjoyable (and less expensive).

It's worked for us.

Ah so handy to have family helping narrow locations! This was the plan for us, move before school started. Had it all set up, then the pandemic and bereavements and all sorts of life ugh happened and I just didn't have the energy. So DS has started school which feels like another anchor to our current life. But I can't shake the feeling that maybe somewhere smaller would suit my community vibes. However feels like a big risk to find in 3 or 4 years that we still don't have a close circle of friends who we see regularly, which is the dream.

@Beansandneedles the time to move is whilst you can still have a lot of contacts with people via the kids. After that (late primary, maybe?), you really have to make a conscious effort to integrate.

I should probably add that where we lived to isn't a tiny small town, if that makes sense? It still has decent facilities and the things we liked about where we were before. However, we are already at the point where we bump into people (neighbours, nursery acquaintances etc) in town...

That's nice to think I haven't totally missed the boat yet!! Thanks for replying :) yeah I think we'd be looking at a mid-sized town ish. Nothing too rural (I grew up in the countryside and it's not great as teenager!), but more personable than our current situation. I mostly see people when I'm out and about with my toddler ATM but she'll be at school in a few years, after that I feel like my social life is going to shrink which feels crazy considering the number of people around us! Husband and I both WFH so not tied to anywhere geographically. We're not currently near any family and unlikely to be as a result of any move. I just crave less anonymity, the city can be so impersonal.

Totally understand. The key is to really understand what you might be getting yourself into! It has been helpful from our POV to not be viewed as 'incomers' from London (there is a little bit of a grumble about that from the older generation here- they were a lot friendlier when they realised that we had deeper local connections!) so worth doing your research via things like local Facebook groups for anything like that.

If you have a toddler, there is definitely an outflow from cities in the year before school applications as people try to move before that point (applications close in Jan, you find out schools in April and they start in Sept). We definitely weren't the only in our crowd to move, sad as it was, but most child-related friend would likely change at that point anyway.

(I was in London for 20+ years before we moved, and closer to it for the first 18 years. I didn't think we would ever leave, but it's not been as bad as I would have assumed. Having the kind of house we could never afford in London helps, obviously...)

I lived in several big cities (NYC, San Francisco, Mumbai) and then Dh and I moved back to the UK and into a very rural area (not even in a village).

It was a shock at first. I’d say I wasn’t particularly happy for maybe the first 6 months to a year. But part of this really had to do with not knowing anyone (early 30s, no dc) and we were the youngest anywhere nearby by about 30 years. And also not having a car to begin with, so I was literally stuck in bumblefuck and there were no trains or buses.

I love it now and though I still go to London for work as my head office is there, I’m glad to head home at the end of the day.

The only thing I’d say is if you’re planning to move to a town, spend some time there. Like go, get an Airbnb and stay for a week. I love living in the countryside, but our closest market town is grim. Lots of little yobs stealing stuff and harassing pensioners in the park. The traffic is terrible. The schools are awful. It’s not somewhere I’d want to live, even though it looks nice on the tin.